From JDO103@PSUVM.BITNET Thu Nov 16 06:16:50 1989 From: JDO103@PSUVM.BITNET (Someone) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Music Date: 14 Nov 89 05:21:58 GMT Distribution: alt Organization: Penn State University Status: RO In article <5377@cps3xx.UUCP>, usenet@cps3xx.UUCP (Usenet file owner) says: > >In article <42425@bu-cs.BU.EDU> cerebus@bucsf.bu.edu (Tim Miller) writes: >> >> This kind of of punning really Styx in my craw. Of course, I >>engage in it too; I just have Too Much Time on My Hands. Sitting here with >>nothing better to do, I start to feel like A Man in the Wilderness. No >>human contact, so I turn to the net for company.... >> >Hey, DeYoung fellow is making puns out of one of my favorite groups. >Well, I'm going to Shaw him I appreciate the effort by making a toast >at the end of this posting. In the meantime, however, let's not let >this pun fest die down--after all, the night is still Young. > >(BTW, I'll buy the next round for anyone who can fit the name "Panozzo" > into a pun.) > Well, since you're buying! I'll take a panozzo things over there! -Dave >--------------------------------------------------------------- >An idea is not responsible for | Greg Stockton >the people who believe in it. | stockton@frith.egr.msu.edu >--------------------------------------------------------------- From lupine@pawl.rpi.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:51 1989 From: lupine@pawl.rpi.edu (Gayathri Kamath) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Intimacy? Hmm... Date: 14 Nov 89 14:32:51 GMT Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy NY Status: O There is a knock on the door, and the wind seems to blow it open... A large shadowy silver wolf stands in the doorway, a storm at her back, with snow and ice all around her... As she enters, a grey shadow shimmers,and there is a tall young woman standing there... Her hair is as dark as the night, and her eyes are pools of deep brown... "Greetings all...the Tundra was cold tonite, so I thought to come and join amongst friends...Greetings, Ralph! And Hello Taldin!" She leans over and hugs the Unicorn. "A Black Velvet and Coke, my darlin' Irishman!, and here is a dollar for thee." She walks over to the line, and drains her glass... "To warm fireplaces, and good friends, and a gentler form of hedonism! May there forever be people and myths who understand the value of these all" ***CRASH*** ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- lupine@pawl.rpi.edu peace love and chocolate hedonism is the watchword From snoopy@kumquat.ucsb.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:51 1989 From: snoopy@kumquat.ucsb.edu (Smith, Jamie Lynn) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Another Official hello Date: 14 Nov 89 18:48:11 GMT Reply-To: snoopy@kumquat.UUCP (Smith) Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara Status: O In article <4339@hplabsz.HPL.HP.COM> sartin@hplabs.hp.com (Rob Sartin) writes: >In article <2949@hub.UUCP> snoopy@fig.UUCP (Smith) writes: >>dissappeared in the crowd and reappeared as he jumped up and stood upon a >>bar stool. >Clearly, Jamie is actually Spider Robinson in disguise. Cleverly >inserted in her story was the contradiction that appears in every (?) >Callahan's story. As we all now, Callahan's has no bar stools. Clearly, I need to read these books! Ok, Snoopy jumps up on the counter-top and gives the bartender a $1 for root-beer. Then he makes his toast to beagles, throws the mug in the fireplace, and falls asleep on the counter-top. :-) Notice... he doesn't use a bar stool! In walks a short but cute brunette with an enormous backpack having a patch on it that says "Engineer". She is wearing a UCSB cap, and is carrying a keyboard under her left arm. "Anybody seen my German Shepherd?", she says. "He's real short, is dressed as a WWI Flying Ace, and thinks he's a Beagle. He answers to the name of Snoopy. Oh, hello, there he is .... snoozing, of course." She walks over to the counter, nudges Snoopy, who responds by jumping off the counter and heeling at her side. "Bartender, a coka-cola for everyone in the place!" She places a wad of bills on the counter, takes her coke, and sits on a couch (Callahans has couches, right?) by the fire, with Snoopy lying down at her feet. :-) Ok, pun.... I need a pun... Let's see, maybe I can byte into this assignment by ..... huh. Ok, puns aren't my speciality. Oh, well. :-) >Rob Jamie --- ****************** The World War One Flying Ace ************************* * "I'll get you some day, Red Baron!" --- Snoopy | Jamie Lynn Smith * * "|!| !!! |!||! |||!!||! ||!|!||!|" --- Woodstock | CS ugrad at UCSB * ********************************* mail to snoopy@cornu.ucsb.edu ********* From stadnism@image.soe!clutx.clarkson.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:52 1989 From: stadnism@image.soe!clutx.clarkson.edu (Steven Stadnicki,9B23 Woodstock,2680000,5186432664) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: is this Robinson stuff? Date: 14 Nov 89 19:03:24 GMT Reply-To: stadnism@clutx.clarkson.edu Organization: Clarkson University, Potsdam, NY Status: O Here's a piece that floated around a few groups about 2 weeks ago; it struck me as being remarkably like the intro of the Minicon speech in TTSC, and I was wondering if anyone knows whether this is a Robinson piece? (ObToast: to friends of the E kind) >From: rev@gem.mps.ohio-state.edu (Michael Shapiro) >Message-ID: <235@function.mps.ohio-state.edu> >Date: 31 Oct 89 01:20:44 GMT >Reply-To: rev@function.mps.ohio-state.edu () > > > > > four > rap for juggler > > (c) rev etc - may be reproduced for non-commercial purposes > > Four score and seven years ago - but of course before you >forescore, you usually fore*play* - our forefathers - wait a >minute, I don't have four fathers, I only have one father, must be >our four (um) greatgrandfathers - brought forth upon this >continent - now wait a minute, if they were continent, they didn't >bring forth anything at all. They must've been *in*continent. >You gotta let go of those fluids... - So *anyway*, our four great >grandfathers pulled back their foreskins (wasn't there a vocal >group called the Four Skins?) *any*way. our four great >grandfathers pulled back their foreskins, foreplayed, forescored, >became incontinent, and brought forth a (damn'!) nation, concieved >- well of course it was concieved, though to be honest about >things it was really our four great grandmothers who did all the >broughting forth, which'll show you how much credit *labor* gets >in this country.... well, anyway, they were dedicated. Dedicated >to the proposition - Now this is getting a little mixed up: first >we foreplay, then we forescore, then we bring forth, then we >concieve, and only *now* we get around to the proposition? I >dunno. And in this proposition all men are created equal. - Oh, >I see, the four great grandfathers pulled back their foreskins to >see if they were created equal. - We are now engaged. Great! In >a struggle. - Well, I bet it's a struggle if *that's* how you go >about it. - To see how long we can endure each other. So pull >back those foreskins and remember to give that last (thimble) full >measure. But remember, if we can't endure it, the world will not >long remember what we say here today. > Thank you. > > -------------------------------------------------------- >rev etc sends out strange things from box 02024, columbus oh 43202 > -------------------------------------------------------- Steven Stadnicki stadnism@clutx.clarkson.edu "Not to sound too dramatic, but you are one of the net's chosen." From jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU Thu Nov 16 06:16:53 1989 From: jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jennifer Mary Doyle) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Music Date: 14 Nov 89 19:30:06 GMT Reply-To: jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jennifer Mary Doyle) Distribution: alt Organization: or, conversely, Chaos: Status: O [They finally newgrouped it here! And there was much rejoicing...] She walks in, dressed in varying shades of blue and green which complement her one green eye and her one blue eye. Of course, the really striking thing about Ria (for so she is called) is the large snake like creature wrapped around her waist, his smiling face nestled on her shoulder. In the claw at the end of his body is a large aquamarine gemstone that one can almost see lines running through. "A free round..." she thinks aloud. "I'll try my best..." Once Pan, the god of wine, women and song, went down in disguise to visit the people of Greece. He was always looking for entertainment. He walked into a local bar, sat down, and ordered. "Bring me your most unusual spirit." he said to the barkeep. "One that I'm not likely to have tasted." The man set down a small glass of a clear fluid in front of Pan, who downed it in one sip. It tasted of black licorice, and thrilled Pan no end. He let his disguise fall, and praised the barkeep. "May you and your family prosper forever!" he cried. "Oh, mighty Pan!" said the barkeep. "You must let me do more for you! From now on, this liquid shall be known by your name: I will call it... Panozzo." And so Ria, with Muse on her shoulder, sat back and waited... -- "I can't -- I have rehearsal." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jennifer Doyle // Princeton '92 // jmdoyle@phoenix.princeton.edu Disclaimer: I am a student, I represent the future. From scott@csusac.csus.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:54 1989 From: scott@csusac.csus.edu (L. Scott Emmons) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Another Official hello Date: 15 Nov 89 00:24:38 GMT Reply-To: scott@csusac.UUCP (L. Scott Emmons) Organization: California State University, Sacramento Status: O In article <3015@hub.UUCP> snoopy@kumquat.UUCP (Smith) writes: >Clearly, I need to read these books! Ok, Snoopy jumps up on the counter-top > [...] >Notice... he doesn't use a bar stool! Yes, everyone ought to read these books (in my opinion, of course!) While Callahan's doesn't have bar stools, it does have arm-chairs (Mike Callahan says that "a man should be comfortable when he drinks" [Note that he once got in a bit of trouble for not saying "person" instead of "man", but that's another story]) -- L. Scott Emmons uucp: ...[!ucbvax]!ucdavis!csusac!scott From usenet@cps3xx.UUCP Thu Nov 16 06:16:54 1989 From: usenet@cps3xx.UUCP (Usenet file owner) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Music Date: 14 Nov 89 02:42:10 GMT Reply-To: stockton@frith.UUCP (Ronald G Stockton) Distribution: alt Organization: Engineering, Michigan State University, E. Lansing Status: O In article <42425@bu-cs.BU.EDU> cerebus@bucsf.bu.edu (Tim Miller) writes: > > This kind of of punning really Styx in my craw. Of course, I >engage in it too; I just have Too Much Time on My Hands. Sitting here with >nothing better to do, I start to feel like A Man in the Wilderness. No >human contact, so I turn to the net for company.... > Hey, DeYoung fellow is making puns out of one of my favorite groups. Well, I'm going to Shaw him I appreciate the effort by making a toast at the end of this posting. In the meantime, however, let's not let this pun fest die down--after all, the night is still Young. (BTW, I'll buy the next round for anyone who can fit the name "Panozzo" into a pun.) And now...the toast: To the great musicians everywhere, and to all the joy they bring to the people who listen. * CRASH * --------------------------------------------------------------- An idea is not responsible for | Greg Stockton the people who believe in it. | stockton@frith.egr.msu.edu --------------------------------------------------------------- From kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:55 1989 From: kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu (Ken Kaufman) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: It's Riddle Night! Date: 15 Nov 89 03:41:06 GMT Reply-To: kaufman@gmu90x.UUCP (Ken Kaufman) Organization: George Mason University, Fairfax, Va. Status: O A short description for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of reading "Pyotr's Story" or "Involuntary Man's Laughter," Riddle Night is another of those wonderful traditions at Callahan's. A riddle-master (the role I'll be performing tonight) creates a series of "riddle puzzles" for the other patrons to solve. Jake, through Spider, refers to these as being in the "invisible idiot" format, where "invisible idiot" translates to "Out of sight, out of mind." Clues are separated by commas, unless they relate to different words, in which case semicolons are the delimeters. For example: "large fish; luna, caviar" ==> "marlin; moon, roe" ==> "Marilyn Monroe." As usual, beware of puns. I will present four appropriate categories for this first Riddle Night, each with six puzzles whose answers belong to the category. (I warn you, Category IV may be stretching things a bit, but I have faith in your abilities. Has anyone given Doc Webster an account?) Between now and 9 AM on Tuesday November 21st, I will be awarding one point for each correct answer or correct category identification to the first person I receive it from, either via posting or email, with ties being broken by timestamp. The person winding up with the most points can be the next riddle-master. I'll post the answers next week. And perhaps I will soon introduce myself with a toast. Enjoy! Ken Kaufman (kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu) -------------------------------------------------------------------- I Tend, Assassin AgaiNst, Alaska town, Myself Cantaloupe, Lassie; Fitzgerald, Typefaces Inform, Printer's measure, Trail Spice; Less stale Juice turkey; Not on; Detergent; Western trailers, Political speech; Planets II Destroy; Color, Othello; Fake Hanging rope; 28.4 grams; Limp Wallop; Croon, Sea birds Stop; Denominations; Secret agent, Rim Policeman; Irritated, Female sibling; Didn't lose, Didn't lose or win Converse; One dull speaker, Tibia III Bovaries; Uno y uno Spinners; Finn's creator, Joint Sheep, Cuts Churchill's gesture, Advanced Degree Ship body, Kids' cereal Callahan, Caviar, Knight, Judging panel IV Scratch; Imbibe; Shorlines; In shape, Oolong; Detect Gained; Barbie, Ancient town; Requests for payment; Possess, Jeans brand Negative; Make like a happy cat, Ogling At what time, remains; Driving expense; Formalwear; Darkness Have access to a fact; Only, Bellows; Unrefined rocks; Law test; Feces German meat; Wordplay, Budges; Beverages; Home run king; Archaic you; home From ee5391aa@hydra.unm.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:55 1989 From: ee5391aa@hydra.unm.edu (Duke McMullan n5gax) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: music Date: 15 Nov 89 05:55:57 GMT Reply-To: ee5391aa@hydra.unm.edu.UUCP (Duke McMullan n5gax) Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque, NM Keywords: Pun warning Status: O In article <73@bucsb.UUCP> gilly@bucsb.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) writes: >Well, Zach and I have been following this line for a while, and bassed >on the latest few puns, we decided that it's time for the thread to >be cleff in two. We guitared of seeing all these electrical jokes, and >we prefer music as a subject. So all you musicians who think you can >Handel it, come out of Haydn and add to the Liszt! We can Chopansies >like these who's better. Come join the Frey! But please, no violins - >this *is* Callahan's Place. Besides, not to blow our own horns, but - >we'd lick you easily. I can see you treble at the mere thought. So >hold down the forte, and I'll be back soon! You guys don't stick at anything, do you? Are you trying to get us drummed off the net? Well, you're heading in the right direction, just putting snares out there for any unsuspecting person. I think you ought to just take a rest, but I doubt you'll take note of that advice. If I were on the staff, I'd see to it that the whole bunch of you were shut up; it would markedly change the tenor of the newsgroup. Trying to take a bird's-eye view suggests to me that we'd be doing well to stave off any attempts to continue this. We must conduct ourselves with dignity: a proper coda behavior is essential to our continued use of the net. We must march with pride, else we may as well collectively waltz into the sunset. Unquestionably, the key to this is self dicipline. The mode of our behavior must be exemplary -- we'll not string anyone along, though many of us undoubtedly have the brass to do that. Shall I add a .key-signature? d Noreidel kommephen heirde amkirotad Foritrunen ashkeder! Duke McMullan n5gax nss13429r phon505-255-4642 ee5391aa@hydra.unm.edu From mikegal@microsoft.UUCP Thu Nov 16 06:16:56 1989 From: mikegal@microsoft.UUCP (Michael Galos) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Intimacy? Hmm... Date: 16 Nov 89 09:51:03 GMT Reply-To: mikegal@microsoft.UUCP (Michael Galos) Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA Keywords: friendship, puns, duplicates, and other indoor sports Status: O A few more toasts like that and Piotr will be driving us all home. Ah, one more...To Sharing Shared pain and shared joy. From ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu Thu Nov 16 19:46:02 1989 From: ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu (Christopher Davis) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Well, it's time... Date: 16 Nov 89 11:34:22 GMT Reply-To: ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu (Christopher Davis) Distribution: alt Organization: Boston University School of Management Status: O I suppose I should start showing up more often, after having sent out the newgroup messages and all that... A young man walks through the door, wearing grey pants, grey sneakers, and a blue "Phoenix in '93" WorldCon bid T-shirt. The backpack slung over his right shoulder marks him as a college student, but the slide rule poking out of it seems a bit...silly, perhaps? He walks up to the bar, greeting Mike with a nod, as he is served his traditional root-beer float. He sits down, drains the root beer, eats the ice cream, then prepares his toast... "To loneliness." He says the words softly as he hurls the mug into the fireplace. He sits down at a nearby table, setting his backpack on the floor. "Y'ever have one of those weeks--or months--when nothing went right? Or what *did* go right wasn't enough to notice? Then you know the feeling. I've got a friend who's lonely too, and we both need hugs, but our schedules never seem to mesh; and it'll never be more than friendship, which isn't to denigrate friends, but you know how it is sometimes... I've got another friend 3,000 miles away who I've never met, but that I deeply care about and wish the best... and I've got alt.callahans, but even the most heartfelt net.*hug* doesn't always do the job." "There is one benefit of the net.callahans, though; the hours. Look at the time stamp on this message, fiddle with the GMT-to-EST conversion, and when you arrive at 6:30am... well... no real-world bar would be open. And no sane person would still be awake." "Such is life, though. I won't sleep tonight--what's left of it, that is--because I have work at 9. I don't know if I'll sleep tomorrow night, either; my back says 'fat chance' unless I get a backrub." "Sure am glad y'all like the place, though. Good to see a crowd. PEOPLE. *FRIENDS*." He picks up an empty glass from the table, walks to the line, and says: "To friends, both near and far, both met and unmet. Hail!" -- Christopher Davis, BU SMG '90 "Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand." From brandyt@microsoft.UUCP Thu Nov 16 19:46:22 1989 From: brandyt@microsoft.UUCP (Brandy Thorpe) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: A Toast! Date: 16 Nov 89 20:14:01 GMT Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA Keywords: strongest magic personas Status: O To the strongest magic! First, let me say that I feel as if I am treading on very tender ground, and that I do not mean any flames, finger pointing or anything else negative. This is how I feel about a certain subject, and I by no means think that this is the ONLY opinion. Whether or not Callahan's Saloon ever existed in any other place than Spider's books, what we are trying to build here is _real_. I would like whole people to visit. I know the comfort using a persona can give, but I do not visit Electronic Callahan's to get to know more personas, I visit to give my persona weary heart and soul a rest. I do not mean that imaginative beings are not welcome. I would have Electric Callahans be a magic place. But there is more than one kind of magic. There is the magic that is contained in a well written story or a really stinky pun, and there is the magic that comes only when humans, with all their weaknesses, faults and emotions can find a way to mingle souls. This (IMHO) was the strongest magic of the Callahan's in Spider's books, and this is what I crave from Electronic Callahan's. Please tell my how you'all feel.. --- Brandy From kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu Thu Nov 16 19:46:23 1989 From: kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu (Ken Kaufman) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Riddle Night Winners and Answers Date: 16 Nov 89 16:19:56 GMT Reply-To: kaufman@gmu90x.UUCP (Ken Kaufman) Organization: George Mason University, Fairfax, Va. Summary: a bit early Status: O You guys are good! Between the bunch of you, you've knocked off my blackboard full of fun, so I'll post the answers earlier than originally planned (after the ^L, so that anyone who wants to keep working on them won't have them spoiled; meanwhile, keep those cards and liters coming!) First the accolades for a few of the top performances (it should be noted that every single person who submitted answers did a really good job, and at least got a few right. Come by and claim your drinks.) The early-bird special goes to a patron going by the name of Shadow, who cleared about a third of the board before many of you were even seated. (In order to simulate a blackboard with answers going up, I had to give the actual points to the first correct answers; nonetheless, those who figured the whole set out independently deserve oodles of credit. Speaking of which:) Closest to a clean sweep of the board goes to William Somsky, who not only cracked the surprisingly elusive category II and discovered the complete answer to IV(5), he even half-stumbled over the answer to I(5) when he had no idea. And BD from Ohio State deserves a few glasses in the fireplace for being the first to figure IV(5) out and for (along with Gary at Clarkson) snuffing out the stinker inherent in III(6). But first prize, with only 3 misses, and breaking open categories II and III with a near-sweep and a complete sweep, not to mention his outsmarting the Riddle-Master on II(5) (see below) goes to Marc Shapiro (m6s@PSUVM.BITNET). You want to run the next one? And now for answers and analyses (SPOILERS below) ... Ken Kaufman (kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu) I: Books by Spider Robinson. I was lenient and allowed "stories", "non-Callahan books" (that holds true), and even "novels", which three of them aren't. But that shouldn't affect scores ... >Tend, Assassin ==> Mind, Killer ==> Mindkiller >Against, Alaska town, Myself ==> Anti, Nome, Me/I ==> Antinomy >Cantaloupe, Lassie; Fitzgerald, Typefaces ==> Melon, Collie; Ella, Fonts ==> Melancholy Elephants. Nearly everyone got this one right. >Inform, Printer's measure, Trail ==> Tell, Em, Path ==> Telempath >Spice; Less stale ==> Thyme; Fresher ==> Time Pressure >Juice turkey; Not on; Detergent; Western trailers, Political speech; Planets ==> Baste; Off; All; Posse, Bull; Worlds ==> Best of all Possible Worlds Unfortunately out of print. II: I'm surprised this one stumped so many of you, as only two respondants followed on this "Grand Tour of USENET" ... >Destroy; Color, Othello; Fake ==> Wreck; Hue, Moor; Phony ==> rec.humor.funny #1 on the arbitron hit parade. >Hanging rope; 28.4 grams; Limp ==> Noose; An ounce; Impotent ==> news.announce.important >Wallop; Croon, Sea birds ==> Sock; Sing, Gulls ==> soc.singles >Stop; Denominations; Secret agent, Rim ==> Halt; Sects; Bond, Edge ==> alt.sex.bondage >Policeman; Irritated, Female sibling; Didn't lose, Didn't lose or win ==> Cop; Sore, Sis; Won, Tied ==> comp.sources.wanted Except Marc found (and got a bonus karma point for): ==> Cop; Soft, Sys; Won, Drew ==> comp.soft-sys.andrew I was trying to be a bit less obscure. >Converse; One dull speaker, Tibia ==> Talk; A bore, shin ==> talk.abortion III: Operating systems of one type or another ... >Bovaries; Uno y uno ==> Emmas; Dos ==> MS/DOS Should I be proud of how few of you got this one compared to the next few? >Spinners; Finn's creator, Joint ==> Tops; Twain, Knee ==> TOPS-20 Nobody seemed confused as to which Finn. >Sheep, Cuts ==> Ewe; Nicks ==> UNIX >Churchill's gesture, Advanced Degree ==> Vee, M.S. ==> VMS >Ship body, Kids' cereal ==> Hull, Trix ==> ULTRIX >Callahan, Caviar, Knight, Judging panel ==> Mike, Roe, Sir, Jury ==> Microsurgery After all, there have been bookstores who've placed OS books under Medicine. And you've got to admit, it *is* an operating system. IV: House rules at Callahans ... >Scratch; Imbibe; Shorlines; In shape, Oolong; Detect ==> Itch; Drink; Coasts; Fit, Tea; Sense ==> Each drink costs 50 cents. >Gained; Barbie, Ancient town; Requests for payment; Possess, Jeans brand ==> Won; Doll, Ur; Bills; Own, Lee ==> $1 Bills only Many tripped over the right ancient town, but got it anyhow. >Negative; Make like a happy cat, Ogling ==> No; Purr, Eyeing ==> No prying! >At what time, remains; Driving expense; Formalwear; Darkness ==> When, Stays; Toll; Tails; Night ==> Wednesday's Tall Tales Night. >Have access to a fact; Only, Bellows; Unrefined rocks; Law test; Feces ==> Know; Mere, Roars; Ore; Bar; Stools ==> No mirrors or bar-stools. Some only found one environmental requirement. >German meat; Wordplay, Budges; Beverages; Home run king; Archaic you; Home ==> Wurst; Pun, Stirs; Drinks; Aaron; Thee; House ==> Worst punster's drinks are on the house. ... but at least it never rains on Callahan's roof. From jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU Thu Nov 16 19:46:23 1989 From: jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jennifer Mary Doyle) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: a toast... Date: 16 Nov 89 20:23:56 GMT Distribution: usa Organization: or, conversely, Chaos: Status: O Ria walks in with Muse around her waist, and also with a female friend. "Hello," Ria says. "This is Jen. I met her this summer. She needed to come here so I brought her along." Jen orders a root beer in the heaviest mug Callahan has. After downing it quickly she hurls it into the fireplace. "To academia!" she cries. -- "I can't -- I have rehearsal." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jennifer Doyle // Princeton '92 // jmdoyle@phoenix.princeton.edu Disclaimer: I am a student, I represent the future. From dtrindle@jarthur.Claremont.EDU Thu Nov 16 19:46:24 1989 From: dtrindle@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (D. J. Trindle) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: A Toast Date: 16 Nov 89 22:32:46 GMT Reply-To: dtrindle@jarthur.UUCP (D. J. Trindle) Followup-To: alt.callahans Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: A new face in the Place... Summary: Gulp, , tinkle Status: O A young man shambles into the Place, cracking his forehead on the doorjamb in the process. He wanders up to the bar, drops a dollar in front of Mike, and receives a Bailey's in return. Stalking up to the line, he downs his drink quickly, coughs once, and booms "To physics!" The sound of breaking glass seems to take something out of him. He slowly returns to the bar and exchanges another dollar for what looks like a couple of gallons of Mountain Dew. After immediately guzzling about a third of it, he ends up over by Fast Eddie's piano, requests "Maple Leaf Rag" and slumps in a chair. After a bit, Mike says, "You have fifty cents coming, you know." The young man looks up quickly at the sound of the big Irishman's voice, then says, "I think I'll keep it this time around. Laundry's starting to pile up." Finishing his drink, he collects his change and heads for the door: however, before he gets there, he turns and says, "I'll be back. After all, finals are only a few weeks off..." He spins and leaves quickly, bashing his forehead again on the way out. -D.J.T. From zimerman@phoenix.Princeton.EDU Thu Nov 16 19:46:26 1989 From: zimerman@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jacob Ben-david Zimmerman) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Another weary traveler Date: 16 Nov 89 23:02:00 GMT Organization: Princeton University, NJ Status: O ... Hello one, hello all. I am yclept JB, and I'm definately in need of one just now. Mike, Bless me, if you would. Thank you kindly. Aaah. Ameliorating as usual. My friends, I was prepared to toast loneliness, but as I came in I heard a fellow seeker propose that very one. Therefore, I believe, I will make mine...To EDUCATION! You see, I myself am a seeker of higher education. And I believe I've finally gotten to the point where I love it! I hunger for it, it's something I'd do anything for...and I am to be kicked out of my institution in a short three and a half semesters. Graduated. Eeccch. So I propose this toast to those who wish they could stay forever, in our own little reality bubbles, but realize they can't...and to the pain that involves. And, of course, to Mike and you all, who make that sort of thing bearable. And perhaps next drink, we'll talk about loneliness. Thank you, all. -- ___________ | MTV is the lava lamp of the 1990's. || | -An unknown MTV comedian || ||acob Zimmerman!+> INTERNET === | BITnet