From hollombe@ttidca.TTI.COM Sat Dec 2 00:27:25 1989 From: hollombe@ttidca.TTI.COM (The Polymath) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Story/Toast Date: 1 Dec 89 21:51:48 GMT Reply-To: hollombe@ttidcb.tti.com (The Polymath) Organization: The Cat Factory Status: RO In article <89333.184753JDO103@PSUVM.BITNET> JDO103@PSUVM.BITNET (Someone) writes: } I, like many of you here, am also a student. I am also having *big* }problems academically. You see, I think I have screwed up my future, and }on top of that, failed to meet the expectations of not only friends and }family, but of my own. ... The (not so quiet these days) guy in the corner brings his empty glass to the line. "To futures! They're harder to screw up than you think." Dave's story sounds awfully familiar. Twenty-some years ago I might have told it about myself, with some insignificant variations. For what it's worth, here's how I handled it (not that I planned any of this, you understand): I did ok my first semester in college. Then the first great love of my life married someone else and things (my GPA in particular) pretty well went to hell from there. I finally dropped out, with no degree and few prospects. I wanted to be a pilot, too, BTW. I paid for my private license out of savings, expecting my parents to help with the rest, as promised. They backed out of the deal -- for which I've never completely forgiven them. Anyway, this and that happened. I worked some odd and not-so-odd jobs, saved my money and eventually took off for Europe with a tent and a motorcycle (that's another story). Two years later I returned, worked some more odd jobs and finally decided I wanted to go back to school. That last phrase is the key. I _wanted_ to go to school. I wasn't meeting expectations. No one was pushing me. It wasn't the next step after high school. It was what _I wanted_. Two years later I graduated with a B.A. in psychology, Summa Cum Laude. Two more years and I had my master's -- from one of the toughest graduate psych programs in the state. They weren't easy years, but the discipline I'd acquired in getting to that point in my life (I was 28 when I returned to school) got me through. (How I got into the computer biz is yet another story). So, what's the point? Maybe you aren't ready for college academics, yet. There's no sin in that. Take a year off. See some of the world. Think about how you'd like to fit into it. My SO took 20 years to complete her B.A. (and raised a family while she was at it). She's currently finishing her MSW and will graduate in May. She's probably twice your age and her future doesn't look all that screwed up. In the words of Douglas Adams: DON'T PANIC! (-: (BTW, if I'd achieved my goal of being a pilot, my first choice of employer was Eastern Airlines. Funny how things work out. (-: ) }Here's to the end of loneliness, may it }come to us all!" Amen! In light of which, I propose a motto for Callahan's: Misery shared is halved; Joy shared is doubled; Loneliness shared is ended. And, on that hopelessly pompous note, he returns to the corner. -- The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe, hollombe@ttidca.tti.com) Illegitimis non Citicorp(+)TTI Carborundum 3100 Ocean Park Blvd. (213) 452-9191, x2483 Santa Monica, CA 90405 {csun|philabs|psivax}!ttidca!hollombe From ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu Wed Dec 6 20:01:21 1989 From: ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu (Christopher Davis) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: alt.callahans--where we stand Date: 2 Dec 89 12:29:05 GMT Reply-To: ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu (Christopher Davis) Distribution: alt Organization: Boston University School of Management Status: RO >From Brian Reid's USENET readership report: +-- Estimated total number of people who read the group, worldwide. | +-- Actual number of readers in sampled population | | +-- Propagation: how many sites receive this group at all | | | +-- Recent traffic (messages per month) | | | | +-- Recent traffic (kilobytes per month) | | | | | +-- Crossposting percentage | | | | | | +-- Cost ratio: $US/month/reader | | | | | | | +-- Share: % of newsreaders | | | | | | | | who read this group. V V V V V V V V 432 4100 179 34% 246 491.5 0% 0.08 0.6% alt.callahans In one month we hit 34% distribution (thanks to all the alt.sysadmins out there who carry it) and 246 messages--with no crossposting. More importantly, I think we helped each other out. Once again, I'd like to thank everyone here--the posters, the lurkers, the bears and unicorns and wizards and college students and other life-forms... This round's on me. -- Christopher Davis, BU SMG '90 "Many verbal attacks are part of someone's aim to establish their rank in a dominance hierarchy, the same sort of behavior common among nesting fowl." --Daniel Mocsny From jwbirdsa@phoenix.Princeton.EDU Wed Dec 6 20:04:10 1989 From: jwbirdsa@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (James Webster Birdsall) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Forces, Vast and Mighty Date: 2 Dec 89 07:56:02 GMT Organization: Princeton University, NJ Keywords: Argh Status: O The door opens and a thoroughly gloomy looking scarecrow in a green jacket enters. He heads straight for the bar, forgets the name of what he wants, and is forced to describe it to Mike. Having collected his whatever-it-is of vodka and OJ, he steps up to the line and stands there for a minute. "I'm not really sure this is going to end up as a toast, folks. If I can think of a suitable one by the end of my story, I will. Mostly, I just have something I want to say... "I just had a thoroughly obnoxious evening. What actually happened bore little resemblance to what I wanted to happen, despite my best and continuous efforts. The whole thing had to be written off as a loss. But it did bring home one point. "I am being pushed around by forces beyond my control and far more powerful than I. Now, this would be OK -- after all, I'm constantly affected by the forces of nature, and I don't resent that -- except that these forces, these powers, are people. People who at least theoretically are no more powerful than I. They're students, just like I am. "I am ashamed to admit that it was nearly ten seconds before the source of this power occurred to me. It's really quite simple: they have something I want. And I'm at such a disadvantage because I don't have anything they want. Or at least there hasn't been any evidence of such in our previous dealings. "What's even worse is that people who (IMHO) should be in an even worse tactical position somehow succeed. I really don't know how. It has occurred to me to fake it, so to speak -- to claim greater assets, knowledge, and experience than I actually possess -- but that would lead to a highly unstable position. If the deception was ever discovered (and it would be), the results would be worse than just plain old rejection. "Now, in theory -- again -- what I'm seeing is the surface result of the same sorts of complicated tactical evaluation and emotional convolutions that I'm going through. These people are supposed to have the same sorts of insecurities, illogicalities, et cetera, that I have. But that sure isn't what it feels like. They have the ability to wildly alter my emotional state. They can make my entire life seem better or worse. I feel like I'm dealing with a being of tremendous power and tremendous indifference. I try my best to be considerate and supportive, and in return nobody gives a flying damn about how _I_ feel. "To be brutally honest, I have a niggling little urge (which I'm trying to get rid of, but it keeps getting reinforced) to one day do the same thing to one of them. Just to prove that they're human, too. I don't care if they hate me afterward, just so long as I get _some_ sort of reaction. Love me or hate me, just don't ignore me." He falls silent for a minute, sipping his drink pensively. "Some of that tirade should be taken with a grain of salt. I'm in a really ugly mood right now and in the morning I may regret some of the things I've just said. I'm sure everyone here knows what I'm talking about by now, so let me elaborate on the positive side a bit. "I have several friends who belong to this group of people. And they're very good friends -- some of the best I've ever had. They've done a lot for me and helped a lot. And, somehow, that's different. When they're friends, they're perfectly ordinary people. But when I'm looking for something different, something more, then something changes. Since, in a couple of cases, the same person has been sequentially in both categories, I guess that the only thing that changes is my perspective. "So, having isolated the problem, how do I fix it? I'm looking for operant rather than theoretical answers. After all, the obvious answer is to keep my perspective the same, to not let it be so important, to not be so intense. But how do I do _that_? The condition seems to be native to the hardware..." He finishes the rest of the drink, then stands there holding the glass. He rereads everything he's just said, searching for an appropriate toast. "I guess I'm going to have to toast Answers. May everyone find the one they need." He throws the glass in without further ceremony and retreats to an empty table in a corner, hoping that maybe somebody will come over and talk. But, as he looks around, he realizes that most everybody is sitting in groups of friends and that it's unlikely that anybody is going to break off having a good time to talk to a source of such intense gloom and bitterness. So he just sits and watches from the shadows... -- James W. Birdsall jwbirdsa@phoenix.Princeton.EDU jwbirdsa@pucc.BITNET ...allegra!princeton!phoenix!jwbirdsa Compu$erve: 71261,1731 "For it is the doom of men that they forget." -- Merlin From snoopy@fig.ucsb.edu Wed Dec 6 20:04:22 1989 From: snoopy@fig.ucsb.edu (Smith, Jamie Lynn) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Request for Personal Info About Posters, plus a little help. Date: 2 Dec 89 22:47:19 GMT Reply-To: snoopy@fig.UUCP (Smith) Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara Keywords: age, hobbies, et al. Xmas break! Summary: What I would like to be called (Snoopy or Jamie) Status: O In article <25758F2F.1FA3@rpi.edu> hammer@pawl.rpi.edu (James A. Damour) writes: >favorite movies: Ladyhawke, Princess Bride, Parenthood, Enemy Mine Ladyhawke? Did you say Ladyhawke? One of the best romantic fantasies I've ever seen! Rutger, Michele, and Matthew did a great job in this movie (and the guy who plays the priest. Also, the guy who played the Bishop did a great job at making my hair stand up... very evil character!). Princess Bride's a great one, too! >Is that what you wanted? BTW, would you prefer to be called Jamie, Snoopy, >or something completely different? Yes, that's fine! I forgot to add music, but I had already mentioned Genesis, and I didn't want to make the article into a book... Sigh, it became one anyway! :-) Well, I guess it's time to drop my persona. A small Beagle walks into the bar (funny, no one can remember seeing the Beagle leave... wasn't he collapsed by the feet of a female computer science student... hey! where the #@$%#$ did she go!), and jumps up onto the bar. "Woof, growl, woof whine woof rough woof", he politely states, and Mike hands him a root-beer for a one dollar bill. He wolfs (pun! a pun!) down the drink, and lowdly proclaims, "WOOF, ARGH, HOWL, OOOOOWL, WHINE, SIGH, WOOF!", and deftly sends the mug flying into the fireplace, despite his lack of thumbs. Suddenly, in his place, a young, female Computer Science student appears, sitting upon the bar. All heads turn, and everyone politetly waits for her to speak her peace... "When I first arrived here, I had intended to just be Snoopy, the WWI Flying Ace. I identify with that cute, fuzzy beagle, despite the fact that he is a he and I am a she. However, I've really grown comfortable here.... enough to see that I don't really want to hide inside a 2 foot tall dog! That doesn't mean that I'm getting down on those who keep their personas... I just don't want mine, that's all. I like reading about the teddy bear, and the flying cat, the unicorn, the black tiger, the Shadow, all you guys. That's the charm that got this newsgroup really going! Don't stop unless you want to! Well, from now on, my name is Jamie. My login is Snoopy. Speak to me either way, and I will reply, but I don't think I'll be a persona again for a while... I've read so many true life stories on this newsgroup... all of it touched me deeply. I'm not doing too well in school, I'm lonesome, but I have my health, my family, and I have financial support. I'm pretty lucky. Still, some of your stories, I really identified with in my life. Those that didn't hit close to home, however, usually touched me the deepest... life is tough all over. It's sad, what alot of you are going through, or seeing others go through, but it's really neat to see such honesty, and compassion on a newsgroup... a thing where you'd think people would be the most distant! I don't know if it's the fact that we don't have to see each other (and so don't have to fear some sort of commitment we aren't prepared for), or what, but I really like what I'm seeing on thes net. I hope it doesn't stop. Sorry, I guess I really get carried away when I post ( ;-) ). Oh, right, I'm not supposed to apologize, I forgot. I don't know if this will help, but, when I'm down, a few certain songs can sometimes really pick me up. This isn't exactly a cure, but it may be a form of help. Bridge Over Troubled Water, by Simon and Garfunkly, used w/o permission... please don't sue! When you're weary, Feelin' small, When tears are in, your eyes, I will dry them all..... all. I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough, And friends just can't be found! Like a Bridge over Troubled Water, I will lay thee down. Like a Bridge over Troubled Water, I will lay thee down. When you're down and out, When you're on the street, When evening falls, so hard, I will comfort you, oooh. I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes, And Pain is all around! Like a Bridge over Troubled Water, I will lay thee down. Like a Bridge over Troubled Water, I will lay thee down. Sail on Silver Girl, Sail on by! Your time has come, to shine, All your dreams are on their way! See how they shine, oh!, if you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind! Like a Bridge over Troubled Water, I will ease your mind. Like a Bridge over Troubled Water, I will ease you mind. SIGH.. With my mother and myself praying me through all my finals, midterms, and major papers, I begin to really feel like God's SINGING this to me. It makes me feel really warm inside. Some of the song verses sound Biblical... some, if not all. :-) Anyway, I will talk to you all after Xmas break! Merry Xmas, and good luck, all of you, in your lives, and in your finals(for those who are students!)." Very quietly, the CS student gets off the bar, and turns to leave. Before she goes, she gives Eric a friendly pat on the back, and a "good luck in CS170, say 'Hi!' to Anne for me!", and leaves, carrying her 20lb backpack, and wearing her headphones, and humming softly..... Snoopy.... oops, no Jamie. no "WOOF" :-). >James Damour >hammer@pawl.rpi.edu --- ****************** The World War One Flying Ace ************************* * "I'll get you some day, Red Baron!" --- Snoopy | Jamie Lynn Smith * * "|!| !!! |!||! |||!!||! ||!|!||!|" --- Woodstock | CS ugrad at UCSB * ********************************* mail to snoopy@cornu.ucsb.edu ********* From cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu Wed Dec 6 20:04:23 1989 From: cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu (Unbeliever) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: A Visitor Date: 2 Dec 89 23:58:40 GMT Organization: The Land Status: O A whooshing sound is muffled by the sounds of friendly chatter between the regulars of Callahan's. Soon afterward, a tall, curly-haired gentleman wearing the world's longest scarf enters the bar. His eyes crinkle and he flashes a big, toothy grin. "You know, humans are quite my favorite species!" he says to no one in particular. He orders a cup of tea from Mike the Barkeep, and meanders to the back of the room, where a lonely, bitter man watches the others having fun. "Cheer up", he says to the man, "Things can't be all that bad..." He starts to tell tall tales of travel and terror. The man shakes his head in disbelief, and actually laughs at some of the sillier stories. A half-hour later, a man by the window calls out, "Whose big blue box is that, blocking the building?" The man with the scarf stands up and says, "My goodness! I've been here too long!" He starts to leave, bidding a fond farewell to the Barkeep and winking to his newfound friend. The bitter man, feeling worlds better, thanks the man with the scarf for the company. The whooshing sound is heard again, and the blue box is gone. +--------------------------------+-----------------+--------------------------+ | Handle: Unbeliever | Empty |"In the immortal words of | |Internet: cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu | Space | Socrates, who said, 'I | | Bitnet: cosc5sh@elroy +-----------------+ drank what?!?'" | | UUCP: ...texbell!uhnix1!elroy.uh.edu!cosc5sh | -- Real Genius | +--------------------------------------------------+--------------------------+ From stadnism@clutx.clarkson.edu Wed Dec 6 20:04:23 1989 From: stadnism@clutx.clarkson.edu (Steven Stadnicki,9B23 Woodstock,2680000,5186432664) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Keep those cards and letters coming! Date: 3 Dec 89 01:24:19 GMT Reply-To: stadnism@clutx.clarkson.edu Organization: Clarkson University, Potsdam, NY Status: O Many thanks to those who have sent me mail; I'm still receiving, though, so if you haven't sent me anything yet please do. Someone expressed interest in a log of where mail has come from, etc., so here's the list of people I've received from so far... (note: this is in alphabetical, rather than chronological, order) Oh yeah... those of you who have written, please feel free to write again; I'm always willing to listen, and usually willing to talk, too... From: 6600tom%ucsbuxa@hub.ucsb.edu (Tom Weinstein) From: austin%bucsf.BU.EDU@bu-it.bu.edu (Austin Ziegler) From: Blaine Price From: Chris Phoenix From: ckd%bucsf.BU.EDU@bu-it.bu.edu (Christopher Davis) From: davidsen@sixhub.crd.ge.com (Wm E. Davidsen Jr) From: EMD101%PSUVM@clvm.clarkson.edu From: Eric J. Bowersox From: estokien@jarthur.Claremont.edu From: ez000691@pollux.ucdavis.edu From: fwebb@bbn.com From: gilly%bucsf.BU.EDU@bu-it.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) From: Gord Broom From: Greg McMullan From: James A. Damour From: jdrew@cs.uoregon.edu From: jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jennifer Mary Doyle) From: Karl Kleinpaste From: Ken Kaufman From: Ken Olum From: kribs@crdecf.csc.ti.com (Christopher M. Kribs) From: lewandow@cs.wisc.edu (Gary Lewandowski (TA of Doom)) From: limes@Sun.COM (Greg Limes) From: malinda@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM (Malinda Mitchell x2650) From: Mark Shoulson From: Michael P Pyle From: Mique Reisch From: Monica.Cellio@nl.cs.cmu.edu From: psrc@pegasus.att.com From: scotth%harlie.corp@sgi.com From: From: Shana S Kaye From: sksircar@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Subrata Sircar) From: Smith From: ted@NMSU.Edu From: The Polymath From: ucdavis!csusac!scott@ucbvax.Berkeley.EDU (L. Scott Emmons) From: uflorida!novavax!rwright@uunet.UU.NET (Ronald K. Wright) From arromdee@crabcake.cs.jhu.edu Wed Dec 6 20:04:24 1989 From: arromdee@crabcake.cs.jhu.edu (Kenneth Arromdee) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Request for Personal Info About Posters Date: 3 Dec 89 00:50:08 GMT Reply-To: arromdee@crabcake.cs.jhu.edu (Kenneth Arromdee) Organization: Johns Hopkins University CS Dept. Status: O In article <3176@hub.UUCP> erbo@cornu.ucsb.edu writes: >... He's unbuttoned the >faded copper buttons of his jacket, revealing a T-shirt emblazoned with the >words, MY MOM AND DAD VISITED ENCHANTING VERNA AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY >T-SHIRT. ... Verna? I know where that is, you know. It's not at all easy to get a ticket to go there... -- "Workers of the world, we're sorry!" --Soviet protestor's slogan Kenneth Arromdee (UUCP: ....!jhunix!arromdee; BITNET: arromdee@jhuvm; INTERNET: arromdee@crabcake.cs.jhu.edu) From shoulson@cunixc.cc.columbia.edu Wed Dec 6 20:04:25 1989 From: shoulson@cunixc.cc.columbia.edu (Mark Shoulson) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: keeping in touch Date: 1 Dec 89 20:08:46 GMT Organization: Columbia University Status: O He didn't quite walk through the door. More accurately, he *did*, and that was what was so striking. His perfectly flat, transparent form just slid into the bar through a crack between the slats of the door. The conversation died down a little as those who were positioned to see him stopped and stared. He moved with an odd sideways motion. He appeared to have no third dimension at all. In the bright light of the Place, his internal organs were clearly visible. He reached the bar and spoke, surprising poor Mike, who didn't see him, since he was edge-on to him. His voice didn't seem to bear much relationship to the motions of his mouth. "Mike-Greeting. A small glass of Jirri Basla liqour to me please give. I you thank." The obligatory dollar bill unfolded itself onto the bar from a string pocket glued to his body. Mike placed a shotglass in front of him. The strabger produced a length of wire and, using the two hands on one side of his body, bent it into a U shape. He passed this over his head to the lower of the two hands on his other side. Somehow curling his insubstantial hand around the glass, he passed that over as well, to the upper hand. Somehow he poured the contents of the glass into the large wire "cup." Without turning his body, he walked in the other direction to the chalk line. "Hello, all. I Yndrd am. I very happy you all to see am. It is good Earth friends to have." "TO THE GOOD LIFE!" Both glasses join the fire. ------------------- OK, that was a long run for a short slide. I've been wanting to try that out for some time. I tried to think of a good shaggy-dog story to go with it, but couldn't. Note: I haven't given up on it yet, so I may post one soon. Anyway, it's fun to make up personae (though I don't really get into using them; I'd rather be known as myself [although I may keep yndrd around. I kind of like that, too]), and I need the writing practice. The real reason I'm posting is simply because I haven't in a while (I guess I like to "hear" myself "speak," as it were.) I wanted to maintain contact with all you out there. Gilly, and all the others who have been posting recently, I sympathize greatly. All I can say is that I hope you find the companionship, solace, hope, etc. or whatever each of you needs, and I hope we here at the Place can help you feel better in the meantime. As to my toast, I almost feel as if I am out of place here (note "almost." Dis here's Callahan's Place, and you don't need to qualify to enter). My life has been fairly charmed, and so far it doesn't look like it's going bad (on the contrary, in fact). With all the trials and tribulations experienced by some of you, I feel incongruous. But I hope I can still offer a comforting word now and then. Oh, a description. I'd better do this briefly. I tend to talk about myself for hours if not stopped. Basically, I am twenty-one, a senior at Columbia College in Computer Science, circa 5'7" or 8", 125 lbs (I look like a skeleton), brown hair (usually short, somewhat shaggy at the moment), dark brown eyes. My hobbies are many and varied, from Number Theory to Linguistics to Geology to Systems of Measurement. More on that, if needed in a separate article. I'm into too many things to post about them all at once. Favorite color: Pale Blue. Favorite music: 50's, 60's, early 70's, a few other exceptions, plus some classical, etc. whatever. I think I've bent everyone's ear enough for a while. BTW, if anyone's interested in yndrd, read "The Planiverse" by A.K. Dewdney. ~mark o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o Mark Shoulson: shoulson@cunixc.cc.columbia.edu shoulson@cunixc.bitnet {...}!rutgers!columbia!cunixc!shoulson P.S. lori, my mail to you keeps bouncing. Try calling a local institution for the Blind and asking for info. See if they can point you to where you can get a book entitled "Just Enough to Know Better." From sksircar@phoenix.Princeton.EDU Wed Dec 6 20:04:25 1989 From: sksircar@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Subrata Sircar) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: SF puns Date: 3 Dec 89 05:10:08 GMT Reply-To: sksircar@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Subrata Sircar) Organization: SPAMIT Keywords: lovely puns, wonderful puns Status: O Real Name: Subrata Sircar Age: 22 (gasp, I'm over the hill! Oh nooooo....) Gender: Male Height: 5'6" on a good day Weight: 140+/- Hair: Jet Black Eyes: Brown Location: Princeton, NJ Occupation: First-year Aerospace Grad student at Princeton College: Princeton (sense a trend? :<) Favorite food: You name it, I'll eat it, except... Least favorite foods: spinach, soggy vegetables Favorite music: Rock'n'Roll (what that is I don't know...) but lots of Rush, Styx, Church, Smithereens, Billy Joel, Scorpions, REM, Tribe... and classical - mostly the big names... Favorite authors: You name it, I read it. Especially Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie, and anything FSF (except Dhalgren... :<) Hobbies: If it's a sport, I like to play it. Doesn't mean I'm any good, but I like to play it, especially Basketball, Frisbee, Volleyball, soft/base-ball, hockey, skiing, football... I love to read, eat and listen to music (usually simultaneously...) and have been described as a "migratory lifeform with a tropism for bookstores". My roommate has introduced me to more and better comics... Oh, yeah, bridge. I love to play, but don't get a chance to as often as I'd like. I have a strange memory - bits of trivia stay there while important things vanish never to be seen again... Since all of you are yawning by now, I'lll make a toast: "To empathy, and alt. callahans. Long may it help those who need it, amuse those who want amusement, and brighten our days." <*CRASH!*> Subrata K. Sircar, Prophet & Charter Member of SPAMIT(tm) sksircar@phoenix.princeton.edu SKSIRCAR@PUCC.BITNET Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease. It's also heriditary - if you don't have one, chances are your children won't either.