Newsgroups: alt.callahans Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!chaos.cs.brandeis.edu!adam From: adam@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (David C. Kaplowitz) Subject: Re: Soul food for some, bitter crumbs for others In-Reply-To: usenet@cps3xx.UUCP's message of 23 Feb 90 18:45:44 GMT Message-ID: <1990Feb24.174004.24666@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> Organization: Brandeis University Computer Science Dept References: <7615@sdcc6.ucsd.edu> <90053.004717EMD101@psuvm.psu.edu> <6577@cps3xx.UUCP> Date: Sat, 24 Feb 90 17:40:04 GMT Lines: 14 >>She sets the pot on a table, and continues talking as she sorts the pizzas >>according to their correspondences to the Russian SSRs. >>... >"I'll have the Armenia, hold the Georgia ..." Any Sushi Pizza left? ObW: The Wizzard Of Speed And Time (Obligatory Watching) Traveler In Elephants Dave -- Newsgroups: alt.callahans Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!chaos.cs.brandeis.edu!adam From: adam@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (David C. Kaplowitz) Subject: Re: Spring In-Reply-To: nlp@vu-vlsi.Villanova.EDU's message of 23 Feb 90 21:15:02 GMT Message-ID: <1990Feb24.174747.25205@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> Organization: Brandeis University Computer Science Dept References: <220@vu-vlsi.Villanova.EDU> Distribution: alt Date: Sat, 24 Feb 90 17:47:47 GMT Lines: 22 >Well, it's Spring--62 degrees outside, and our neighbor's sheep are >gamboling in the fields, despite some recent tough Pennsylvania >anti-gamboling legislation... The slightly rotund (much swivle spread) gent with all of the (now empty) bushmills cups infront of him (and the habbit of talking in parenthesies (and diverging rapidly from the subject (which reminds me ... ) what? Oh. I was saying ... )) Stands, somewhat unsteadly, with a half grin on his face and starts with ... "Spring? Lucky you, us bostonites just got several feet of snow. Oh, and by the way, don't you thing your neighbor is fleecing the new law some? (what it isn't punday? Oh well.)" Then with a slightly sheepish look on his face sinks down, hoping that nobody will notice the shear effrontry of his pun and do anything about it befor he can lamb out of here to go and earn some more singles ... Traveler In Elephants Dave -- Newsgroups: alt.callahans Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!chaos.cs.brandeis.edu!adam From: adam@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (David C. Kaplowitz) Subject: Re: boskone (a rather odd story...) In-Reply-To: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU's message of 24 Feb 90 08:40:50 GMT Message-ID: <1990Feb24.181601.26227@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> Organization: Brandeis University Computer Science Dept References: <882@dftsrv.gsfc.nasa.gov> <1990Feb14.144245.7620@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> <503@sixhub.UUCP> <12411@csli.Stanford.EDU> Date: Sat, 24 Feb 90 18:16:01 GMT Lines: 25 As the Firetail (affectionate name passed on ... long story) comments, >Listen up, everyone! I'd like to make an announcement, ... "Here, Here! The only con I am ever talking on again is the way I got 'conned' into this wonderful enviornment (Thank you gilly <*kiss*>) and want to go marching into the mist (boy I must have missed something there ... ) and spray of this marvelous company. Hey Mike, how can I get a round around to everyone around? This N-cornered room is giving me headaches in visualization, and the rafters are a bit smoky (I can't see _exactly_ who (or what? no definitly who) is up there now ... ) so could you give me a hand? Thanks, now how about helping me (as I put down the rubber hand he just tossed me) get these arou ... passed ou.. distributed. Taldin, I didn't know you had a grove out back, can we just go out and visit, or must we touch the unicorn's horn and sober up first (ObR: Zelazny something about a black unicorn and chess). And would someone introduce me to the "drooling wolf" with the lovely pelt? My neighbor just got a new dog that is an Irish Wolfhound, and my other neighbor's Peek just dissapeared ... I might need protection." Now where did I put that .sig? Traveler In Elephants Dave -- Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!think!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!swrinde!emory!hubcap!dkarres From: dkarres@hubcap.clemson.edu (Dean Karres) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Spring Keywords: ecce Message-ID: <8144@hubcap.clemson.edu> Date: 24 Feb 90 21:35:50 GMT References: <220@vu-vlsi.Villanova.EDU> Distribution: alt Organization: Clemson University, Clemson, SC Lines: 22 nlp@vu-vlsi.Villanova.EDU (Nick Pine) writes: >Well, it's Spring--62 degrees outside, and our neighbor's sheep are >gamboling in the fields, despite some recent tough Pennsylvania >anti-gamboling legislation... >--Nick Ewe had to go and dew it, hay? A little warm weather and a man's mind turns to thoughts of fantasy I suppose. I shouldn't wool-gather though. Thinking of spring and frolicing animals (of all species and gender) be-hooves me to put forth this toast... To Spring. A time of rebirth. When kidds and old goats alike enjoy the sun and it grand glare. dean...k... -- || dean...k... || "...With tremblin' hands he gave his gold to the || wild colonial boy..." from John Doolan dkarres@hubcap.clemson.edu || Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!think!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!rpi!ash From: ash@pawl.rpi.edu (Arthur Hyun) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Love, and Lifelong Soulmates Message-ID: <25^#%&*@rpi.edu> Date: 25 Feb 90 00:54:39 GMT References: <|-!#5^|@rpi.edu> <9060029@hpfcso.HP.COM> <2829@unisoft.UUCP> Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy NY Lines: 73 greywolf@unisoft.UUCP (The Grey Wolf) writes: >In article <9060029@hpfcso.HP.COM> daq@hpfcso.HP.COM (Doug Quarnstrom) writes: >> >>No Taldin, HERE is the cynical view: >> >>I will grant, for the sake of argument that soul mates do >>exist. I postulate that my soul mate lives in China. >>Let us assume that this young lady has some reason to make >>the long journey to Fort Collins, center of the &*%$# >>universe. I am sure that at the very moment our paths >>are about to cross, one of us will be hit by a bus. >> >>There. I can't let anyone infringe on cynicism, now can I? > ** WOOF! ** >{ Boyobboy! We're *really* talking bury-yourself-in-the-sand-because-the- > world-sucks-rocks-and-will-never-improve, all-out, down-and-dirty > cynicism here! I thought *I* used to be cynical!!! Man, you take the > f#$(%*g cake! No, Cynic, your paths will cross. Your eyes will meet > hers in a brief instant of recognition. THEN one of you will get hit > by a bus.} EXCUSE me... that ain't cynicism... that's just down-and-dirty pessimisism. That's just too random and unhappy to be cynical--where does the "deep mis- trust in human motives" come in? (thank you Wester's)... I'm cynical... I believe that whomever my soulmate is (if she/he/it exists) will meet me, we'll fall in love, and then she'll tear me to shreads with random emotional violence, take the kids, take the cash, take the cars (even if she has to get a friend to do it), take the house and everything else to totally remove all sense of happiness from my life. THEN, as she lies on her deathbed, after seeing some n other males (where n is some sadly large positive integer) she'll summon me to her side (as i still deeply love her, and have recognized her for my soulmate) and tell me that she was wrong, that she never should've let me, and have just figured it out as she lets out her last breath, thus breaking my heart one last time before she goes. *sigh* i HATE being tantalized....... >Have a nice day.[*] >> >>Cynic >> >> >[*]: Offer void where prohibited call 1-800-everywhere for a list of prohibited locales around you. sorry, folks, if you though this had anything REAL to do with soulmates... --Arthur, but only mostly ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ TO MY DEAREST LOVE One day, you will look upon your Beautiful husband And, you will look upon your Beautiful children And, you will look upon your memories "Once I knew a man Sweet and Gentile and Kind very much, indeed, like you..." you will say unto your Beautiful husband Then, you will once again gaze upon your Beautiful husband and your Beautiful children and your memories will pass. -- ----------------------+-----------------------+------------------------------- ash@pawl.rpi.edu | sammael@mts.rpi.edu | the.arthur@rpitsmts.BITNET ----------------------+-----------------------+------------------------------- Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!yale!cs.utexas.edu!usc!brutus.cs.uiuc.edu!psuvax1!psuvm!jls139 From: JLS139@psuvm.psu.edu (Abaddon) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Spring Message-ID: <90055.174550JLS139@psuvm.psu.edu> Date: 24 Feb 90 22:45:50 GMT References: <220@vu-vlsi.Villanova.EDU> <1990Feb24.174747.25205@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> Distribution: alt Organization: Penn State University Lines: 20 In article <1990Feb24.174747.25205@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu>, adam@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (David C. Kaplowitz) says: > >Oh, and by the way, don't you thing your neighbor is fleecing the new >law some? (what it isn't punday? Oh well.)" > >Then with a slightly sheepish look on his face sinks down, hoping that >nobody will notice the shear effrontry of his pun and do anything >about it befor he can lamb out of here to go and earn some more >singles ... > >Traveler In Elephants >Dave Ack! Ewe ought to be ashamed of yourself. Lampooning sheep isn't very fair. Before you know it puns will run rampant. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: : Abaddon ...(the watcher) 'Fiery the angels fell...' : :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!apple!arc!steve From: steve@arc.UUCP (Steve Savitzky) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: A Song: The Mary Ellen Carter Message-ID: <826@arc.UUCP> Date: 25 Feb 90 07:09:58 GMT References: <1990Feb18.230800.10244@granite.cr.bull.com> Sender: news@arc.UUCP Distribution: alt Organization: Advansoft Research Corp, Santa Clara, CA Lines: 69 In article <1990Feb18.230800.10244@granite.cr.bull.com> mandel@granite.cr.bull.com (Mark Mandel) writes: >(Silverblack orders a Moosehead... "No, a Moosehead BEER!"... and >steps up to the chalk line. His acoustic steel-string guitar is >hanging around his neck on a strap that looks like a 50-year-old >handwoven belt from Guatemala.) ... >To the memory and living spirit of Stan Rogers!" (Lobs the mug in a >high arc and readies his pick. The glorious ***CRASHHH!!*** gives the >downbeat, and Silverblack is playing better than he ever has before. >From somewhere -- perhaps from other members of the Virtual N-tet -- >fiddles, harps, and other instruments join in the intro. [my all-time favorite song...] From somewhere in the distance one hears a guitar and two voices join in, dopplered up considerably in pitch. Steve, Colleen, and Snuggles (the guitar) appear, very late, considerably blue-shifted from having read an entire week's worth of Callahans at one sitting, and still singing. "...and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again! "Hey, Mike; that calls for a toast. A round on me!" A large number of glasses hit the fireplace shortly thereafter. "Yeah, that song's gotten me through a lot. Challenger, the quake last October, ... Could've used it this week, too, but I was stuck far from home with no guitar." Sensing a story in the offing, a few people cluster nearer as Steve swaps a dollar for another glass of gin. "I went to DC this week for the ACM CSC. On the whole a pretty good week, except for missing my wife, my kid, my guitar, and decent coffee. I'd been invited by Jim Fetzer to join him in the debate on software verification. It went off pretty well, with both sides claiming victory; I figure if we get some of the more fanatical verificationists to think about what they might be leaving out we'll have done some good. Spent most of Wednesday afternoon and evening thinking of all the things I *should* have said... "Well, I heard a couple of good talks, had dinner with my aunt, uncle, and a cousin I hadn't seen for nearly twenty years, went to the Air and Space museum -- then spent about two hours standing in various lines in the airport trying to find out what to do about my flight that was two hours late. I ended up spending the night in Salt Lake City at Delta's expense, having missed my connection. "The funniest part was standing in line at the ticket counter in Dulles reading the book I'd just bought -- _The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul_ by Douglas Adams. For those who haven't read it yet, it starts out with somebody having a terrible time trying to catch an airplane..." He reaches into his pouch and pulls out a slightly battered flier, which he posts on the bulletin board: A W E S T C O A S T F I L K C O N V E N T I O N ! Consonance: March 2-4, Radisson Hotel, San Jose; Membership $25 until 2-1-90; Address: Consonance, c/o Wail Songs, Box 29888, Oakland, CA 94604; (415)763-6415. He then retires to a corner, leans back on Colleen's shoulder, and falls asleep, a victim of jet lag, gin, and weak hotel coffee. -- \ Steve Savitzky \ Grand Central Starport \ REAL hackers use an AXE! \ steve@arc.UUCP \ 343 Leigh Avenue \ #include \ arc!steve@apple.COM \ San Jose, CA 95128 \ h:408-294-6492 w:727-3357 \__________________________________________________________________________ Path: mit-eddie!wuarchive!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!mcsun!ukc!slxsys!olgb1!olapw From: olapw@olgb1.oliv.co.uk (Tony Walton) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: What is this newsgroup for? Message-ID: <16626@olgb1.oliv.co.uk> Date: 22 Feb 90 21:27:51 GMT Distribution: alt Organization: British Olivetti Ltd.,AT&T Division, London, England. Lines: 11 OK, I give up. alt.callahans appeared, and since it did I've been trying to work out who, what or where a callahan is. There was once a Prime Minister in Britain called Callaghan - I doubt this has anything to do with anything :-) Please could somebody tell me why this newsgroup is coming into my modem? -- Tony Walton, AT&T Division, British Olivetti Ltd., Wellington House, 154-160 Upper Richmond Road, London, England SW15 2FN LONDON, SW15 2FN. Tel: (+44) 1 789 6699 Telefax: (+44) 1 785 6670 Telex:27258 Uucp : { ukc | mc[whatever]!olnl1 | ihnp4!cuuxb | iconet | olhqma } !olgb1!olapw Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!usc!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!rpi!crdgw1!sixhub!davidsen From: davidsen@sixhub.UUCP (Wm E. Davidsen Jr) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Is anybody back? Message-ID: <546@sixhub.UUCP> Date: 26 Feb 90 12:52:19 GMT Reply-To: davidsen@sixhub.UUCP (bill davidsen) Distribution: alt Organization: *IX Public Access UNIX, Schenectady NY Lines: 16 The tall man with the beard comes in and looks around the room. It's pretty empty. "Ginger ale, Mike," he says, "I've had the bug and don't want to insult my stomach yet." "I was hoping to see some of my friends here who went to Arisia, and find out how things went. The chairman looked pretty harried last weekend when I saw her, and I was hoping that things went well." He wanders over where a few people are still trying to make a bit of complex harmony work and slides into a chair to listen. -- bill davidsen - davidsen@sixhub.uucp (uunet!crdgw1!sixhub!davidsen) sysop *IX BBS and Public Access UNIX moderator of comp.binaries.ibm.pc "Getting old is bad, but it beats the hell out of the alternative" -anon Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!snorkelwacker!bloom-beacon!bu.edu!bu-cs!bucsf!gilly From: gilly@bucsf.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Spring Message-ID: Date: 26 Feb 90 16:18:16 GMT References: <220@vu-vlsi.Villanova.EDU> <1990Feb24.174747.25205@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> <90055.174550JLS139@psuvm.psu.edu> Sender: news@bu.edu.bu.edu Reply-To: gilly@bucsf.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) Distribution: alt Organization: Boston University Lines: 14 In-reply-to: JLS139@psuvm.psu.edu's message of 24 Feb 90 22:45:50 GMT In article <90055.174550JLS139@psuvm.psu.edu> JLS139@psuvm.psu.edu (Abaddon) writes: >Ack! Ewe ought to be ashamed of yourself. Lampooning sheep isn't >very fair. Before you know it puns will run rampant. Jeez, wouldn't you know it. Someone makes one baaad pun, and everyone flocks to join him. (Peanuts are thrown, and fall to the lanolin-ium floor.) -- +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+ | Gilly Rosenthol |"Don't dream it, be it" -The Rocky Horror Picture Show | | gilly@bucsb.bu.edu |"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. | | | L'essentiel est invisible aux yeux." -Le Petit Prince | +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+