Newsgroups: alt.callahans Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!chaos.cs.brandeis.edu!adam From: adam@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (David C. Kaplowitz) Subject: contemplation In-Reply-To: nlp@vu-vlsi.Villanova.EDU's message of 3 Mar 90 13:25:43 GMT Message-ID: <1990Mar4.192529.21467@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> Organization: Brandeis University Computer Science Dept References: <8256@lindy.Stanford.EDU> <231@vu-vlsi.Villanova.EDU> Date: Sun, 4 Mar 90 19:25:29 GMT Lines: 75 An iternal discussion is going on at the bar: [ As I sit here, staring off into vertual space, letting all the converstations of those around me wash over me. I am in slight shock. Things in my live have been a roller coaster of late. Moments of sheer bliss, and then moments of graphic depression. What can I do? Not much. I just ride out the storm. But when I sit here with all of you decent people around me, I get to wondering if the world is really in as bad shape as it is. Then I step outside ... Why is it that humans on the whole are so self destructive? I can watch the world deteriorating ... ] "Hey, has anyone seen Tom Haupman? Silverblack might want to talk to him. I mean, how far has computers gone in these last few years. You can meet people who grew up with only keypuch ability, and now it is almost totaly language oriented ..." "Language. Yeah, there are so many things that some one can say in so many different ways. I was at a basmitzva (a comming of age for a female) this past weekend, and the entertainment for the children was a lot of them sitting around and seeing in how many languages they could say different sexual swears. The adults were busy either compairing wealth or compairing illnesses. And this was one of the better family type gatherings that will be talked about for years. Why couldn't people be talking about how to make the world a better place? Or perhaps just life a better place? But no. Just people playing on predjudice. Not a very good enviornment. So I curled up in a corner to contemplate. There I remembered back over the last half-century. Fifty years. Why fifty years ago there were no such things as the job that I am presently at. Fifty years ago the nation to which I belong had never lost a war and was gung-ho on beating the germans. Now the berlin wall is down. There was no such thing as the berlin wall before. There never was such a thing as vietnam. People still believed that the atmosphere and oceans were endless. Life was "good" the depression was over. What has happened to us. Why are we emulating lemmings (say that ten times fast with icecubes in your cheeks) Where did honesty go? I have read about St. Augustene, and laughed at someone who banned all that he did as a kid as soon as he stopped doing it. Then I cried, for recently there was a wash of people in the government, who are very against drugs, admitting that they did drugs heavily in their youth. What is wrong with our world. What is wrong with us? Where did those simple axioms go, like 'Don't bind the mouth of the kine who tread the grain' (re Silverblack) 'If it works, don't fix it' 'Live and let live' 'Do not do unto other what is hateful unto thyself' 'Do as ye will and harm none' 'Live Love Laugh' 'Smile awhile' Now adays there are all sorts of creative buttons being worn, but I haven't seen any of these in a while. Has it gone out of the vogue to be nice, kind and considerate? Is love something that has become so uncommon that it is easier to be cynical from experience then to laud it to the heavens as wonderful and commonplace? How many straws ago did the camel's back break and why haven't we done anything about it?" "I think it is time to pass the hat for the whole human race. Recently someone said (working off of a quote from calvin and hobbs) I'm glad that intelegent life hasn't contacted us yet, we'd contaminate them with our own corruption, and that shouldn't have the reigns of the stars." "Does anyone here remember Flash Gordon? You know the space explorer who fought an evil dictator named Ming? The greatest hero, and it seems that our generation is want to follow in MING'S footsteps." "If we are on a decending spiral, there is nothing we can do. But, Hell, I am going to try anyway." A toast: [STRENGTH AND LOVE FOR A BETTER FUTURE] <*crash*> and the hand comes back to wipe the tears off of the face. Traveler in (starving) Elephants. Dave -- Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!think!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!pt.cs.cmu.edu!andrew.cmu.edu!haste+ From: haste+@andrew.cmu.edu (Dani Zweig) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: soulmates Message-ID: Date: 4 Mar 90 20:01:43 GMT Organization: Graduate School of Industrial Administration, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA Lines: 39 ellene@microsoft.UUCP (Ellen EADES): >...the enormous hammer dulcimer poking out from under the table... A second hammer dulcimer! Great! Why don't the two of you spend two or three minutes getting your instruments in tune with each other? :-) >...all the women want me to make the first move. I wonder if specifying gender here doesn't cloud the issue. 95% of *everybody* wants the other person to make the first move. Which means that 90 (.25 :-) percent of the time you'll have two people waiting for each other to say something -- or at best spiralling in on each other with excruciating caution. >I'm sharp and aggressive enough that I scare off eighty percent of the men... The more general problem is that the old consensus rule book has been torn up, and a new set of conventions hasn't replaced it yet. Being aggressive contravenes the only rule book most people have -- even though the reason those rules were torn up was that they stunk. 'Sharp'? Sharp as in intelligent? I've *often* heard women say that men are bothered by women who are more intelligent than they are, but I don't believe I've ever observed it. (Would I have been in a position to observe it? I don't know.) Nobody likes men *or* women to use their intelligence as a weapon. And a relationship between two people who differ *greatly* in intelligence can be hard on both parties. But outside of those cases, *are* men bothered or threatened by more intelligent women? (If I knew the answer, I wouldn't ask.) Dani Zweig haste@andrew.cmu.edu Economy of Mind: Thinking gives a lot of pain./Talking doesn't cost a thing. Therefore, rest your weary brain/And give your tongue a fling. --Piet Hein (grooks) Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!brutus.cs.uiuc.edu!psuvax1!psuvm!jls139 From: JLS139@psuvm.psu.edu (Abaddon) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: contemplation Message-ID: <90063.232934JLS139@psuvm.psu.edu> Date: 5 Mar 90 04:29:34 GMT Organization: Penn State University Lines: 90 Abaddon materializes, casting off his shadows. The light in his eyes burns even more brightly than before. "I couldn't resist taking up THIS guantlet," his voice barely above a wisper. Louder, "Another 'DEW Mike, if you please." (plinks down 50 cents) In article <1990Mar4.192529.21467@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu>, adam@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (David C. Kaplowitz) says: >...[ ] >Why couldn't people be talking about how to make the world a better >place? Or perhaps just life a better place? But no. Just people >playing on predjudice. Not a very good enviornment. So I curled up "Extraordinary view! Definitely worthy of the Cynic. Do you really think that all people ever do is dream up ways how to make life miserable? Not everyone can be a saint 100% of the time. One of the people you refer to could one day produce some great humanistic work. How could anyone know?" >in a corner to contemplate. There I remembered back over the last >half-century. Fifty years. Why fifty years ago there were no such >things as the job that I am presently at. Fifty years ago the nation >to which I belong had never lost a war and was gung-ho on beating the >germans. Now the berlin wall is down. There was no such thing as the >berlin wall before. There never was such a thing as vietnam. People >still believed that the atmosphere and oceans were endless. Life was >"good" the depression was over. What has happened to us. Why are we "These are precisely some of the reasons why we are in such a state. People believed they could pollute without impunity. They believed that they were unbeatable and could slaughter innocent people with impunity. People believed they could borrow money from the future with impunity. (Well, maybe they still do, but the point is that attitudes ARE changing.) Also, I might point out that: there wasn't such a thing as a cure for polio, there was no such thing as Amnesty International and few people ever dreamed of going to the moon." >...[ ] >they did drugs heavily in their youth. What is wrong with our world. >What is wrong with us? Where did those simple axioms go, like 'Don't "'What is wrong with us?'... we are human. And although far from the noblest creature in our known universe, I believe us to be the most creative. So, what we have done wrong, we learn from and use to change our environment. The change may not always be for the better, but as I said, we are learning." >...[ ] >it gone out of the vogue to be nice, kind and considerate? Is love >something that has become so uncommon that it is easier to be cynical >from experience then to laud it to the heavens as wonderful and >commonplace? How many straws ago did the camel's back break and why >haven't we done anything about it?" > "Kindness 'out of vogue'...love commonplace? Hardly. Kindness and love are reciprocal actions. To recieve them it is often best to give first. If anyone's back is broken, it would seem to be the cynic's. Those with hope have the strength to carry on." >"I think it is time to pass the hat for the whole human race. >Recently someone said (working off of a quote from calvin and hobbs) >I'm glad that intelegent life hasn't contacted us yet, we'd >contaminate them with our own corruption, and that shouldn't have the >reigns of the stars." > "AGREED! The very theme of one of my favorite series of novels by Julian May ('Intervention'). It would seem that the human race still needs to grow up some, but there is hope. Without hope there is nothing." >"If we are on a decending spiral, there is nothing we can do. But, >Hell, I am going to try anyway." > >A toast: >[STRENGTH AND LOVE FOR A BETTER FUTURE] ><*crash*> >and the hand comes back to wipe the tears off of the face. > >Traveler in (starving) Elephants. >Dave >-- "Well, I could drink to that. To HOPE!" (Hey, who cleans out this fireplace anyway?) And with that the Watcher once again assumes his cloak of shadows. What author would I be? How about Dr. Seuss? :-) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ...jeff stine......Abaddon... "fiery the angels fell..." ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Path: mit-eddie!bu.edu!mirror!necntc!ima!haddock!karl From: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Willy returns Message-ID: <16088@haddock.ima.isc.com> Date: 5 Mar 90 05:13:37 GMT Reply-To: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Distribution: alt Organization: Interactive Systems, Cambridge, MA 02138-5302 Lines: 34 The door opens. From the view of the outside weather, it seems likely that the visitor is entering through the Boston teleportal. Most of his face is concealed by his scarf and the hood of his jacket--a jacket which he doesn't often wear--but there are smiles of recognition from the crowd. Or maybe these are directed at his companion, a small teddy bear in a blue and white suit who drifts in at eye level with one paw firmly tied to a balloon. As Karl stops to remove his outdoor garments, Willy floats on ahead, waving to the people he knows and several he doesn't. Hearing a voice somewhere in the vicinity of the ceiling, he ascends to investigate. It is not at all clear how he can manage to control his direction of travel. Karl walks over to the bar and collects a glass of apple juice from Mike. "I'd hoped to return last week, but I had too many other jobs in the queue," he says. "But I have been watching, so I've seen the replies to my last posting..." "Hey Karl!" says an ursine voice from directly above. "Look what I found!" Karl looks up to see Willy up in the rafters, tugging at a silvery object, which suddenly comes loose. "Catch!" After an instant of stunned hesitation, Karl jumps to one side, and the falling axe barely misses him. The blade embeds itself in the oak floor, cleanly slicing off the aglet of his left shoelace. All conversation stops. "That," says Mike softly, "would be Nick's missing axe." The bear drifts down to eye level. "Oh boy, was there a reward?" he squeaks. Mike looks over at Karl, who is standing with clenched teeth and fists, counting backward from 100 by threes in hexadecimal. "Oh, I think you'll get what's coming to you." (To be continued.) --Karl (I've always wanted to use the word "aglet" in a posting.) Path: mit-eddie!bu.edu!mirror!necntc!ima!haddock!karl From: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Willy returns Message-ID: <16089@haddock.ima.isc.com> Date: 5 Mar 90 05:23:32 GMT References: <16088@haddock.ima.isc.com> Reply-To: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Distribution: alt Organization: Interactive Systems, Cambridge, MA 02138-5302 Lines: 23 (Continued from last posting.) "You missed it!" says the teddy bear. "Or vice versa. Aren't you going to apologize, or something?" "Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about your shoelace." "I don't care about the shoelace! You almost killed me!" "Then I almost apologize." Willy floats up out of reach as Karl steps toward him. "Don' beat me, Massa!" Karl releases a sigh of exasperation. {Well, I guess as long as he thinks I'm still mad at him, he'll stay out of the way. Maybe I can do an uninterrupted monolog now,} he thinks. He looks toward the rafters. "How did that axe get up there, anyway?" The question is rhetorical, but the bear answers anyway. "Don't ask me! I'm still trying to figure out how the missing water bag got in the mine shaft!" --Karl Path: mit-eddie!mit-amt!snorkelwacker!usc!ucsd!sdcc6!sdbio2!secbh1 From: secbh1@sdbio2.ucsd.edu (Lori Stahlman) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Axes and Authors Message-ID: <8219@sdcc6.ucsd.edu> Date: 5 Mar 90 16:55:32 GMT References: <1990Mar2.151655.26613@granite.cr.bull.com> Sender: news@sdcc6.ucsd.edu Reply-To: secbh1@sdbio2.ucsd.edu (Lori Stahlman) Distribution: alt Organization: University of California, San Diego Lines: 41 The door swings open. It's Betsy Bo again, only this time she's dressed in the monastic black of "Those guys at the end of the story who have responsibility for remembering all those books." She goes to her table and picks up a book from the neat stacks on her table. "These are precious," she declares to the room at large. "We must safeguard our right to them." Political statement made, she moves to the bar and trades a buck for a Shirley Temple. She steps up to the chalk line. "If by some giant aberration it becomes necessary for books to be carried via oral tradition, without giving it much thought I would choose to carry Giovanni Boccacio's _Decameron_. It is a collection of one hundred short stories told by ten young nobles fleeing the plague in Florence. Even though the book was written in the late fourteenth century, the tales are fresh enough to have been told yesterday. There are a number of good modern translations available; I highly suggest picking it up." She raises her glass. "To storytelling." (gulp gulp gulp) <> She walks to Silverblack and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I am so sorry to hear about your loss. A job is so much more than just a way to make money; it influences all other aspects of your life. A change in jobs means that many other things change as well. You see, I too have been canned for reasons beyond my control, and it is not pretty. But I agree with Nick: Your qualifications are awesome. I can hear those Boston employers salivating all the way out here on the West coast." <> <> Betsy Bo returns to her table and hunts around for something interesting to read. Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!apple!usc!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!wuarchive!decwrl!shelby!lindy!news From: GE.LJB@forsythe.stanford.edu (Louis J Bookbinder) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: I haven't got the axe quite yet Message-ID: <8328@lindy.Stanford.EDU> Date: 5 Mar 90 18:54:38 GMT Sender: news@lindy.Stanford.EDU (News Service) Lines: 61 Clank, crash, jangle, clunk, thunk clankcrashclangclunkbangbongCLANK!!! Nick stumbles in and makes a dive for his axe. "OZ! Where did you find it" Mike slowly pulls out his cigar, leans on the bar, and softly, almost threateningly, replies: "In my ceiling" "What?" Totally blank. He looks up. "It was embedded in my ceiling. Willy, an aerial teddy bear, pulled it down. It missed his companion by millimeters. Can you explain?" "No," says Nick struggling upright, still tugging at the silver handle, "I looked everywhere for it! I never saw it since I landed in the fireplace!" He tugs some more, the axe doesn't budge. "It won't budge" he grunts out. The floorboards begin to creak as the strain mounts. The axe shows no sign of motion. "It........WONT........MOVE!!!!!!!!!" "We noticed that, right off." Mike still talks quietly. The quiet, menacing tone and the struggle have gotten people's attention. A circle of quiet spreads from the bar. "We tried to remove it immediately, but it was pretty solid. When the nails in the floorboard started lifting we knew we had a tiger by the tail. Whatever magic you've got in that thing, it is pretty unusual. And DON'T RIP A HOLE IN MY FLOOR!!!" Nick lets go in startlement at Mike's command. The reaction of straining metal muscles hurls him backward where he bounces of the corner of a table, narrowly misses a hammer dulcimer, slides across a floor littered with peanut shells and fetches up hard against the piano, where Fast Eddy merely glances at him. Nick struggles to his feet again, and slowly walks over to the axe. "Wow. I thought there was no magic in this world. Should have guessed - Callahan's isn't quite in this world. What am I gonna do?" "I don't know, friend, but its gotta go. Tell you what, if you get a power saw and some oak floorboard, I will let you come in tonight after closing and cut it out and carefully replace the floor. Meanwhile I want you to think about who has it in for you to use such a powerful spell in my place. Such magic is dangerous, there are other powerful magicians here who usually protect this place and all my guests. Were the evil magician to be found out...... Meanwhile put that chair here over it to prevent accidents. "And, damn it, don't flame anybody EVER AGAIN! HEAR?!?!" "Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir. Umm, is there anybody here who could lend me a power saw? An, uh, I need some money for flooring. Could I chop more firewood, or something?" "With what? Your axe is under the chair you are sitting on. Firmly embedded in my floor. I got another job. Right up you alley. Sweep the glass out of the fireplace. It's getting awfully thick in there. When you get it clean, I'll spring for the flooring. OK?" "Sure, Mike. Thanks." He looks down again under his chair, shakes his head. Gets up and clanks into the back room to look for a broom. Nick Chopper - my opinion? dont ax! LB>- GE.LJB@Forsythe.stanford.edu Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!bbn!granite!mwolf From: mwolf@granite.cr.bull.com (Mary-Anne Wolf) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Axe, Silverblack, & my mail/news woes (was Re:Jobs and Mutual Support) Message-ID: <1990Mar5.200926.192@granite.cr.bull.com> Date: 5 Mar 90 20:09:26 GMT References: <9003021539.AA02250@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM> <1990Mar3.023031.29173@granite.cr.bull.com> Reply-To: mwolf@granite.cr.bull.com (Mary-Anne Wolf) Organization: Bull HN Information Systems Inc. Lines: 37 A female voice comes from the vicinity of the ceiling. "Um...I found the silver sharp thing on a rafter, and it looked like it might fall on someone, so I stuck it in the ceiling so it wouldn't. I guess I should have mentioned it. I just didn't connect the thing I found up here with the discussion about the axe down there. Sorry. In the `real` world, I work at the same place as Silverblack. We used to work in the same group. His qualifications are, as has been said, awesome. I'd like to add to what he said about himself. Silverback can write so clearly that you don't even realize there's any skill in it. He knows how to make things obvious. He is also a really pleasant person to work with, and a quick study. His experience as president of a speechmaking club to which we both belong also has given him experience in presenting and running meetings. I personally think that this company did a really silly thing in not keeping him. I've had friends here who were laid off and while I liked them and felt sorry for them, it kind of made sense. He is not like that. Silverblack, I am SORRY you're going, not just sorry for YOU, but also sorry for US who are left. If you want to reach Silverblack, and you send me email, I'd be happy to read it to him over the phone if his netnews account has gone, but the mail and netnews on the account where I spend more of my time (the pws address) is being flakey, and I don't have time to check the other account (granite) every day so if I seem to ignore a letter or post that you want to get to him (or to me for that matter), send it to me again." Mary-Anne Wolf mwolf@pws.bull.com or mwolf@granite.cr.bull.com These opinions are not shared by my employer, but they should be. -- Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!pt.cs.cmu.edu!nl.cs.cmu.edu!mjc From: mjc@nl.cs.cmu.edu (Monica Cellio) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: soulmates Message-ID: <8293@pt.cs.cmu.edu> Date: 5 Mar 90 20:42:22 GMT References: Organization: Carnegie Mellon University Lines: 38 Hi Dani! >A second hammer dulcimer! Great! Why don't the two of you spend two or >three minutes getting your instruments in tune with each other? :-) Hmpf. A little bit of dissonance is good for you -- just not from woodwinds. :-) One of these days someone will invent a wire that can ignore weather and other factors and just stay in tune all the time.... (If it ever happens, maybe I'll get a virginal. :-) ) >95% of *everybody* wants the other person to make the first move. Yes, and it's *very* frustrating. Especially since you only have to get burned once to become perpetually over-cautious -- so even if you thought you were the sort who wouldn't worry about this, you'll probably end up in this category eventually (unless your first relationship is The One). So what do you do if you think you're interested in pursuing a relationship with someone? (I'll assume that this person starts out as a friend, rather than a stranger. I know that some people don't work that way, but I can't quite comprehend it working any other way.) I think it's a sad fact of life that you can't just ask and have the friendship stay the same; it *will* be affected after you raise the question. So you have to balance the possible benefits against the possible hazards (and maybe the other person is doing this at the same time), and mostly you end up shy and indecisive. >I've *often* heard women say that men are bothered by women who are more >intelligent than they are, but I don't believe I've ever observed it. (Would >I have been in a position to observe it? I don't know.) For what it's worth (not much, probably), I don't think I've ever observed it in anyone from approximately my generation, either. (My grandparents' generation, yes. People now in their 20s and 30s, no.) I think this may have been true once upon a time, but the reality has faded while the claim lingers on. Monica mjc@cs.cmu.edu Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!yale!cs.utexas.edu!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!ucbvax!fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM!jane From: jane@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM (Jane Beckman x4030) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Choppy Doings Message-ID: <9003051401.AA08268@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM> Date: 5 Mar 90 22:01:18 GMT Sender: daemon@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU Lines: 24 Jilara gets up and walks over to peer at the ax. "By heaven!" she cries, clapping her hands together. "Now, here's an interesting little coincidence!" She points at the floor under the embedded ax, walks around it tracing an outline with her finger. "Notice that faint line like a watermark? This is the exact patch where Xibo and Krillman made their exit through the virtual hole! Which means that this is Very Special and Magical flooring! Now, if my theory is correct..." She reaches down to the ax handle and tugs. The ax comes loose in her hand. "Hmmm..." she says, the corners of her mouth twitching with a repressed grin. "My ax!" cries Nick, relieved that the floorboards will not have to be cut through and replaced. Jilara wags a finger at him. "Not yet, my tinware friend. I'm going to take care of this for a little while. It's mine to keep for a while, until you finish sweeping glass out of the fireplace. And remember, that's MY patch of floor, that my warm fuzzy regenerated for Callahan, here. I think..." She lets the grin escape, now... "You will have to ransome this ax back. When you've given out a warm fuzzy to everyone in The Place, come talk to me about this ax. Okay?" She retires to her wall table and props the ax across her knees, idly polishing the blade with her sleeve. ---Jilara the Exile Mail path more altered than San Francisco punderground pipe access...