Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!bbn!granite!mandel From: mandel@granite.cr.bull.com (Mark Mandel) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Realspace Gathering idea becomes a t-shirt Message-ID: <1990Mar13.035252.1905@granite.cr.bull.com> Date: 13 Mar 90 03:52:52 GMT References: <9003120536.AA17527@ccb.ucsf.EDU> <1990Mar12.182716.14856@world.std.com> Reply-To: mandel@granite.cr.bull.com (Mark Mandel) Organization: Bull HN Information Systems Inc. Lines: 17 In article <1990Mar12.182716.14856@world.std.com> eliz@world.std.com (Elizabeth Lear) writes: > I'm sure that if we could find sufficient numbers of people to >purchase these t-shirts we could get them made for an affordable >price. In different colors even! But what would they look like? Hmm... maybe the publishers would let us use "TIME TRAVELERS STRICTLY CASH"? Or, surely some of us in here have the spark to draw some of the regualrs... or the ORIGINAL regulars and staff, under an approprate title? (Mike, Jake, Fast Eddie, the Doc, and Mick Finn?) Nahh, my ideas aren't sparking tonight. (Just as well... I'd zap a few chips.) Anyone? -- -- Mark Mandel (InterNet for a while: mandel@granite.cr.bull.com) /* Bull disclaims all responsibility for me, and I for them. */ Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!yale!cs.utexas.edu!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!ucbvax!goldfarb@ocf.berkeley.edu From: goldfarb@ocf.berkeley.edu (David Goldfarb) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: a familiar entrance Message-ID: <34924@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU> Date: 14 Mar 90 10:52:06 GMT References: <90068.191939EMD101@psuvm.psu.edu> <9060038@hpfcso.HP.COM> Sender: usenet@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU Reply-To: goldfarb@ocf.Berkeley.EDU (David Goldfarb) Organization: ucb Lines: 29 In article <9060038@hpfcso.HP.COM> daq@hpfcso.HP.COM (Doug Quarnstrom) writes: )>Kirk flips open his communicator. "Four to beam up, gentlemen." Another )>brief shimmer, and the away team is gone. Another strange new world has )>been explored and healed. ) )Just as the shimmer begins, the cynic enter the bar and tosses a )grenade into the shimmer. The grenade disappears with the group )beaming up. Everyone looks at the cynic in shocked disbelief. And then they start scrambling for cover as a dull "thud" on the floor makes it obvious that the incendiary grenade did *not* transport to the ship! "Keep calm!" shouts a short, rather nondescript man. It comes to you that his name is "Zach". He gestures, and the grenade is surrounded by shimmering light. The force field contains the explosion and subsequent flames--except for a small flaw in one side. A stream of fire licks out across the cynic's body; he falls to the floor in pain. Zach swears and runs to the cynic's side. "I saw this on a _Star Trek_ episode once," he grins. As he runs his hands over the cynic's burns, they fade away from the cynic's body and appear on Zach's. Zach grimaces; his clothing is rubbing against the burns. And then they fade away entirely. "There," Zach says. "He's healed." Short pause. "At least, on the outside." And, looking at the cynic with pity, he sits down again. David Goldfarb goldfarb@ocf.berkeley.edu (Insert standard disclaimer) "We control the vertical; we control the horizontal. We would control the diagonal, but frankly, we don't want to go up against the diagonal's union." -- Jeff Meyer, aka Moriarty Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!lavaca.uh.edu!elroy!cosc5sh From: cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu (Unbeliever) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Robotic Laws, and Human Joy Message-ID: <5820.25fdecb0@elroy.uh.edu> Date: 14 Mar 90 13:03:12 GMT References: <5798.25fba99a@jane.uh.edu> <1990Mar13.034651.819@granite.cr.bull.com> Organization: The Land Lines: 45 The Unbeliever appears in a much more subdued fashion than he attempted the last time he arrived, and turns to Mark Mandel, who has just said: > Well, actually, Dr. A. didn't invent the Three Laws. I read somewhere, by him > or quoting him, that (who was it, his editor, who midwived the Foundation > concept?!) -- anyway, Someone Else was responsible for the wording of the > original Three Laws. The Unbeliever responds, "The man you're thinking of is John Campbell, who edited ASTOUNDING SCIENCE FICTION, starting in 1938, bringing in a new age of SF to America (who says I don't know my SF trivia!). He helped Asimov in MANY ways in the beginning, including the formulation of the original Three Laws of Robotics. Asimov often credits Campbell with a great deal of his early success; however, Asimov WAS the author doing the final writing, and he is generally recognized in SF circles as the creator of the Laws of Robotics. 'Nuff said." Turning to Taldin... "Didn't mean to make you think I was taking offense (not REALLY, thus the limp spaghetti -- the time-honored way of lashing at someone without REALLY lashing at someone). In any case, all is well and happy with the universe (except for the minor detail of a Circuitry test in 2 hours that I haven't really studied for yet!). *Sigh* Guess I should go study, huh?" The crowd starts throwing peanuts and yelling "Go study!" "OK, ok, I'm going, already! But first, a toast: To Jilara & Alaric, and Taldin & I'm-going-to-forget-her-name-now-that-it's-not-in-front-of-me! Damn. Hate it when I screw up a toast. Oh, well. To YOU guys, may you be as happy as you deserve to be (and that's ALOT)!" The glass of eggnog that Taldin kindly handed to Unbeliver is gulped, and thrown into the fireplace. In the split-second that everyone is watching the glass explode, the Unbeliever vanishes from whence he came... Be True... -=*> Unbeliever <*=- +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |InterNet: cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu UUCP:...texbell!uhnix1!elroy.uh.edu!cosc5sh | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ In case of system identity crisis, try replacing ELROY with JANE or UHVAX1. Path: mit-eddie!mit-amt!snorkelwacker!spdcc!mirror!necntc!ima!haddock!karl From: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: More Shared Joy! Message-ID: <16165@haddock.ima.isc.com> Date: 14 Mar 90 04:19:40 GMT References: <9003131231.AA04969@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM> Reply-To: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Organization: Interactive Systems, Cambridge, MA 02138-5302 Lines: 43 >[Taldin and Joelle] >[Jilara and Alaric] Karl's glass shatters in the fireplace with all the others. "Congrats to both pairs! I'd offer to buy a round, but the Elephant Man has already done that, and besides my cash flow is low again. So I'll distribute something that's free and plentiful: warm fuzzies for everybody!" After distributing them, he goes back to the bar and places his order. Callahan just shakes his head. Karl displays a look of mock surprise. "Jake always says that *anything* is possible in Callahan's Place!" "I didn't say it's impossible, just that I can't do it. But if you can, the drink is free." Karl smiles and signals to Willy, who floats over with his balloon. Karl explains the request, while Mike puts the ingredients out on the bar. Willy eagerly nods his head, and goes to work. The bear pours the two ingredients alternately into a glass, where they form layers. He quickly turns it sideways and catches the unmixed fluids in another glass. The strata are now vertical. He repeats the process to get a second set of vertical sections, above and perpendicular to the first set. He shakes the glass--up and down only, not sideways--for a few seconds, and sets it down. The resulting drink is plaid. Callahan is clearly impressed. "I think this beats the time Fast Eddie managed to ski through a revolving door. Speaking of which, why didn't you offer to take bets on it first? You could have gotten a hundred bucks out of this crowd, easily." He waves his hand to indicate the audience that had accumulated during the show. "Oh, I wasn't that sure he'd be able to do it," says Karl, picking up the glass. "I was guessing that his lack of knowledge would work just as well with entropy as it does with gravity." He takes a sip, noting that the liquid retains its checkered stratification. Someone shouts, "to the power of ignorance!", and there is a sound of glass crashing in the fireplace. --Karl Path: mit-eddie!mit-amt!snorkelwacker!spdcc!mirror!necntc!ima!haddock!karl From: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: More Shared Joy! Message-ID: <16166@haddock.ima.isc.com> Date: 14 Mar 90 06:36:59 GMT References: <9003131231.AA04969@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM> <16165@haddock.ima.isc.com> Reply-To: karl@haddock.ima.isc.com (Karl Heuer) Organization: Interactive Systems, Cambridge, MA 02138-5302 Lines: 57 Willy's brief stint as a guest bartender has left most of the patronage awed, and Karl seizes the opportunity to take the floor. "Here's the story I've been holding for a couple of months. Or part of it, anyway; I'll skip the ancient history for now. Suffice it to say that I am an extremely shy person, so the fact that my after-Christmas return flight left me seated next to a female woman of the opposite sex would probably not have had any result, if she hadn't broken the ice first. "Strangely enough, though, I ended up doing most of the talking. She expressed interest when I mentioned my Esperanto experiences, so I showed her the Esperanto books I had with me, and gave her a spare copy of the local newsletter. We spent some time looking through them together, and she tried her hand at translating some sentences. "This flight was scheduled to arrive after midnight, and I wasn't sure whether I'd still be able to get home by public transportation. So I offered to split a cab fare with her, since we were going in pretty much the same direction (she to Boston, I to Cambridge). She agreed, so after we landed I waited for her, guarding her carry-on luggage, while she went to pick up her checked luggage. (I had none, having learned years ago that life is simpler if you can fit everything into carry-on.) "Well, it turned out that there were more people than taxis that night, and they were having people double up anyway. So when an earlier taxi announced a departure to my neighborhood, she prompted me to take it. She said she'd be in touch." He sighs. "At this point, I would assume the next move is up to her. All I have is her first name, while she has my full name, home address, home phone, work phone, internet address, and photograph." At the nearest table, someone nearly chokes on a drink. "You misunderstand. I said I gave her a copy of the ESNE newsletter; I'm the editor, and so it lists all that contact information for people submitting articles and such. One of the articles in that issue happened to have an accompanying photo which included me." He takes another sip. At this rate, his drink will last all week. "Firstly. Was I right to leave the ball in her court like that? "Secondly. It's not entirely true that I have only her first name. I did note her address from her luggage, and by comparing the names on the mailboxes there with the initials in the phone book, I found one match. But since this information was not volunteered by her nor requested by me, I feel I shouldn't use it. Agree? "Thirdly. As I was preparing the March issue this last weekend, I saw her name on one of the mailing labels, meaning she's contacted ESNE (which automatically gets you one free copy of the newsletter in addition to the standard information packet). There's a fair chance that she'll be at the meeting this next weekend, and I'll see her again. I'm scared..." --Karl Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!apple!arc!sarc!steve From: steve@arc.UUCP (Steve Savitzky) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Unbeliever's Update Message-ID: <849@sarc.UUCP> Date: 14 Mar 90 07:46:08 GMT References: <5798.25fba99a@jane.uh.edu> Sender: news@sarc.UUCP Organization: Advansoft Research Corp, Santa Clara, CA Lines: 50 In article <5798.25fba99a@jane.uh.edu> cosc5sh@jane.uh.edu (Unbeliever) writes: [among other things...] >"Some of you may remember my lament ("The Unbeliever's Tale", back in >the early days of Alt.Callahan's), regarding my utter inability to find >a girlfriend, or even a girl who >MIGHT< >SOMEDAY< become a girlfriend. >Well, I just thought I'd give you folks an update. IT'S STILL HAPPENING! ... >"The advice I've gotten so far seems to be in the "Wait, it'll happen >eventually" camp. Well, I'M TIRED OF WAITING!!! It hasn't gotten me >anywhere this far (I'm 22); in fact, I think the >do-nothing-it'll-happen-when-it's-time philosophy is precisely why I'm >where I am now. What do I need to do, folks? There has to be SOME >secret of the fun and popular that can be employed by a >non-alcohol-consuming, un-sports-minded, Democratic computer science >major! HELP!" The Medium-sized Teddybear pops in. The large cat which, for some unknown reason, hangs around with him can be seen in the four- dimensional distance, slinking off to bed without him. Steve completes his metamorphosis in due course and plops a single on the bar. Mike hands him a his usual gin, saying "I guess you just had to respond to that one, didn't you?" "Well, it seemed like an open invitation. I was about 22 when I met Colleen, and we didn't actually become a "couple" until some five years after that. Not that I wasn't just as lonely, depressed, and desperate as the Unbeliever and all the other lonely youngsters in this place, up until then. That was a while ago -- I just turned 43 today." Fast Eddy strikes up a chorus of "Happy Birthday" and most everyone joins in, in a variety of keys. "Anyway, I don't have any particular words of wisdom, because in the fifteen years we've been together I still haven't figured out what I did right. I might say, though, that I seem to be better at meeting people (in general) when feeling happy and busy with something else. I suspect that being busy helps because it's something to talk about other than how lonely and miserable I am. Or was. (These days when I'm not happy, it's usually because I'm feeling broke or bored; the effect on other people is the same, however.) "Anyway, here's to our friends, the ones we've met and the ones we haven't yet!" <*CRASH*> -- \ Steve Savitzky \ Grand Central Starport \ REAL hackers use an AXE! \ steve@arc.UUCP \ 343 Leigh Avenue \ #include \ arc!steve@apple.COM \ San Jose, CA 95128 \ h:408-294-6492 w:727-3357 \__________________________________________________________________________ Path: mit-eddie!bloom-beacon!bu.edu!bu-cs!bucsf!gilly From: gilly@bucsf.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Grin-- Some Dreams Come True Message-ID: Date: 14 Mar 90 16:22:03 GMT References: Sender: news@bu.edu.bu.edu Reply-To: gilly@bucsf.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) Organization: Boston University Lines: 18 In-reply-to: jm7w+@andrew.cmu.edu's message of 13 Mar 90 03:31:02 GMT Gilly holds the door open, and a large banner proclaiming "Congratulations! Yippee! About time!" in rainbow letters walks in. After a few double-takes, people look closer, and realise that no, the banner is not walking by itself. It's draped over a swarm of warm fuzzies. (What is the group name for fuzzies? Herd? Flock? Glow?) They instinctively follow the source of the beaming, and end up at the feet of the happy couple. After dropping the banner, they converge on Nick Chopper, and pile around him until only the funnel on top of his head can be seen. Gilly smiles. "Hopefully, that will teach him a thing or two." -- +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+ | Gilly Rosenthol |"Don't dream it, be it" -The Rocky Horror Picture Show | | gilly@bucsb.bu.edu |"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. | | | L'essentiel est invisible aux yeux." -Le Petit Prince | +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+ Path: mit-eddie!bloom-beacon!bu.edu!bu-cs!bucsf!gilly From: gilly@bucsf.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Realspace Gathering idea becomes a t-shirt Message-ID: Date: 14 Mar 90 16:32:13 GMT References: <9003120536.AA17527@ccb.ucsf.EDU> <1990Mar12.182716.14856@world.std.com> Sender: news@bu.edu.bu.edu Reply-To: gilly@bucsf.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) Organization: Boston University Lines: 11 In-reply-to: eliz@world.std.com's message of 12 Mar 90 18:27:16 GMT I'd like to see "Shared pain is diminished; shared joy, increased" on it. Seems to me that's one of the things that best distinguishes the Place. -- +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+ | Gilly Rosenthol |"Don't dream it, be it" -The Rocky Horror Picture Show | | gilly@bucsb.bu.edu |"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. | | | L'essentiel est invisible aux yeux." -Le Petit Prince | +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+ Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!bbn!granite!mwolf From: mwolf@granite.cr.bull.com (Mary-Anne Wolf) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Realspace Gathering idea becomes a t-shirt Message-ID: <1990Mar14.142032.16316@granite.cr.bull.com> Date: 14 Mar 90 14:20:32 GMT References: <9003120536.AA17527@ccb.ucsf.EDU> <1990Mar12.182716.14856@world.std.com> <1990Mar13.035252.1905@granite.cr.bull.com> Reply-To: mwolf@granite.cr.bull.com (Mary-Anne Wolf) Organization: Bull HN Information Systems Inc. Lines: 34 A female voice comes from the vicinity of the ceiling. "Mike, I am very much in the mood for a strawberry daquari. Would you be so kind?" Mike begins to prepare the drink. A translucent bubble appears containing a woman with golden hair and a black cloak, sitting in half-lotus position. It drifts toward the bar, and within a few feet of the ground, disappears, leaving the occupant suspended in mid-air. She draws a bill from the folds of her cloak and hands it to Mike, who hands up the drink. She floats to a spot in front of the fireplace, above the truck. She drinks the drink. "To survival. Nothing complicated. I just noticed that life has been difficult for many of us, and we should be pleased with ourselves for coping and for helping each other cope." The empty glass flies into the fireplace. I would prefer a T-shirt that is not too obvious, perhaps a picture of a fireplace with a pile of broken glass in it, and one or more glasses flying toward it. Such a shirt would both represent our group and Spider's books, and would remain appropriate even if the cast of characters here changed." The bubble reappears, and then disappears with its occupant. Mary-Anne Wolf mwolf@granite.cr.bull.com or mwolf@pws.bull.com -- Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!ucbvax!decwrl!shelby!lindy!news From: GC.DCW@forsythe.stanford.edu (SPRING FEVER) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Life, Love & Adventure Message-ID: <8466@lindy.Stanford.EDU> Date: 14 Mar 90 16:14:23 GMT Sender: news@lindy.Stanford.EDU (News Service) Lines: 48 Observing all the giddy joy and frivolity of the young lovers and in some cases young lovers to-be, Spike sighed softly and to himself. He listened quietly to Karl's story and then sheepishily finished the story cleaning his drink from shirt and table from whence it had been sprayed in mid-chug. Getting up and trudging to the bar and taking a short detour to the cat's tail hanging invitingly from the ceiling, Spike stopped to first read the note attached thereon. He shrugged, shadowboxed with the tail, giving it a left jab, right cross, and a left upper- cut, and then made his way to the bar. "Mike, I'll take a Candy Apple, heavy on the Tobasco." He walks to the line and takes a long pull on his drink. Turning and facing his 'audience' he intoned, thusly: "Spring is in the air, and love is where you find it, sometimes in the partner you've spent your adult life with, sometimes in person you've only just met. Passion is fine and will sustain a love for only a short time, but give me friendship and honor to guard my back and together all of us can do the things we need to do." Taking a look into the dark corners and some of the regulars, he took another chug: "Yes, there is someone out there, Gods! I hope so!, so fear not that your life is barren of love for the short term. The person really is out there, and doesn't know it yet, and going through their own life trials and tribulations. I hate to sound New- Agey, but you'll meet than person when you are ready." Once last chug, the drink was gone: "Willy, you're a heckuva bartender, but I'd rather have drink made by Mike that I can rely on to be fairly safe" Wince. "Karl, don't be afraid, or at least not too afraid. If she hadn't found you interesting in the first place, she wouldn't have trusted you so implicitly. You DO know where he lives, how many strangers in that situation would you allow the same courtesy?? Buck up, if nothing else, you have a decent foundation from a friendship, and you damn sure can't get enough of those!!" Spike turned around and from a pitcher's stance hurled the glass into the bar: "To life, it's adventures, and more of 'em!" He shuffled back to the bottomless backup mutturing something about baseball under his breath.