Path: mit-eddie!media-lab!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!husc6!encore!encore.com From: terryk@encore.com (Terence Kelleher) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Touching Message-ID: <11661@encore.Encore.COM> Date: 17 Apr 90 00:52:21 GMT Sender: news@Encore.COM Reply-To: terryk@encore.com (Terence Kelleher) Organization: Encore Computer Corp Lines: 68 "As a engineer, I have learned, when a problem in communication exists, write a protocol, so both sides know what should be done. I did my time at BBN (they built most the hardware that our "speaking" travels on), and I would guess that what goes for computers may work for people". The look in Terry's eye is that of one has has an idea. The look in Hildy's eyes is that of someone who's husband is running off at the mouth again. "The problem we have is that: 1- Many people like touch others and to be touched by others 2- Many people don't like touching other people and consider being touched offensive. 3- Some people don't like being touched by other "specific" people. For the puposes of this specification, we will consider issue 3 a sub-class of issue 2. (conviniently sidestepping it!)" -------------------------------------------------------------- Hugging Protocol (Rev 0.1, Draft) Please return comment to the author 1. Initialization. A hugging sequence shall be initiated with the originator offering an "Invitation To Hug" (ITH). The ITH consists of holding both hands out, at a height slightly higher than the waist of the target. 2. Response. The target may optionally accept or reject the hug. An "Acceptence Of Hug" (AOH) consists of raising both arms and extending them towards the initiator and contacting both hands against the initiator'ss body, preferably on the sides or back. A "Rejection Of Hug" (ROH) consists of target grasping one or both of the initiators hands. This allows a rejected hug to fall back to the commonly accepted "Handshake" (See ANSI "Handshake" specification for details). 3. Completion After receiving an AOH, the initiator may then wrap his/her arms around the target, and enjoy the hell out of a hug that is being well received, without worrying. If the initiator receives an ROH, he/she may be consoled in the fact that the target's desire for reduced impact personal contact has been respected. The initiator may, after either a succesfull Completion of Hug, or after a Rejection Of Hug, retry the operation on another target. The more targets, the better. _____________________________________________________________________ "I offer this 'protocol' for all those who like a bit of compromise." Terry . . . -- Terence Kelleher Encore Computer Corporation terryk@encore.com Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!samsung!uunet!zephyr.ens.tek.com!orca.wv.tek.com!pogo!andyd From: andyd@pogo.WV.TEK.COM (Laura Davidson) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Hiya again Message-ID: <8907@pogo.WV.TEK.COM> Date: 17 Apr 90 04:08:53 GMT Reply-To: andyd@pogo.WV.TEK.COM (Laura Davidson) Distribution: na Organization: Tektronix Guest Lines: 24 Lyra comes over to the center of the room, from where she has been talking to someone - a lurker, actually - through a dimensional portal. "Hi, folks, I'm going to have less net access for the next two weeks, so my responses will be slow and sketchy and Kady's will be (almost) virtually nonexistant." She dodges a couple of half-hearted peanuts. "Anyway, a toast." She looks around for the chalk line, which seems to have disappeared. She mutters a little, gives up, approximates the distance and stands there. "How could that thing disappear so quick?!? Nick just fixed it up after Tardis landed on it! Now it's totally gone? Ah well." "To dear friends, good luck, and extra time on the net (I wish)." crash. Lyra sits down, and sort of flickers in and out for the next couple of weeks... -- A voice said, Look me in the stars |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| And tell me truly, men of earth, | Shannalyralythia | If all the soul-and-body scars |________________________________| Were not too much to pay for birth. -Robert Frost, A Question Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!asuvax!noao!amethyst!hgb@catalina.opt-sci.arizona.edu From: hgb@catalina.opt-sci.arizona.edu (Hubert Bartels) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: WREEE - THUNK Message-ID: <1573@amethyst.math.arizona.edu> Date: 17 Apr 90 04:56:11 GMT Sender: news@amethyst.math.arizona.edu Organization: Optical Sciences Center, Tucson, AZ Lines: 56 WREEE - THUNK! WREEE - THUNK! WREEE - THUNK! Slowly, a tall blue police box materializes out of the gloom of one of the corners in Callahan's bar. The flashing blue light fades. The door of the box is flung open. A tall outlandish man stumbles out of the police box, followed by billowing light blue smoke. The man is dressed in a long maroon jacket, waistcoat, breeches and riding boots. Covering his wild curly hair is a hat that looks like an oversided fedora. Around his neck is a brightly colored scarf that drags on the floor. He leans against the police box, breathing deeply. "Made it," he said, "but it was close. Much too close." He collected himself and walked over to the bar. "Hello, I'm the Doctor and this is the TARDIS," he said, pointing to the blue police box. "I was traveling from alt.mud to rec.arts.drwho when the TARDIS was struck by the winds and flames from alt.flame. I barely avoided the madness of alt.slack, but was forced to land here to cool the console." "Welcome to Callahan's," Mike replied. "What will you have?" "A glass of Glenlivet, please." Mike poured out a glass and set it before the Doctor. "That will be a dollar," The Doctor began to search the pockets of the long jacket and waistcoat, putting the items found on the bar top. A piece of string, some small electronic parts, a yo-yo, and some assorted nuts came from one pocket. The next pocket contained an apple core, a sonic screwdriver, one of the pieces of the Key to Time, and more small electronic parts. The Doctor turned to Mike and asked, "You wouldn't mind extending me some credit, would you?" Everyone in the bar who had been watching this with great interest, shouted "TIME TRAVELERS STRICTLY CASH!" "Surely, I've told you this already," Mike said. "That's the problem with time travel," the Doctor said, "No matter where you go, you can never be sure if you've been there already." He checked the inner pockets of the waistcoat and laid several coins on the bar top, including a Byzantine ducat, a Marie-Theresa thaler, a 50 New Yen piece and a Dalek credit piece. "This should cover it, right?" Mike nodded and swept the coins into the till. He then said, "Here is your change," and placed four Roman denari and a half-farthing in the Doctor's hand. "Thanks," the Doctor replied, and pulled a worn paper bag from yet another pocket. "Want a jellie baby?" Seeing that no one showed any interest, the Doctor returned the bag to his pockets. He then gathered the various items on the bar top, swept them into seperate pockets and turned to the TARDIS. The smoke had stopped pouring from the open door. Draining the glass, the Doctor pocketed it and grinned. "Well, it really is time to go. Good bye." He entered the TARDIS and pulled the door shut. There was a wheezing groaning sound and the TARDIS vanished from sight. -- Hubert Bartels INTERNET: hgb@catalina.opt-sci.arizona.edu Optical Sciences Center VOICE:(602)-621-2032 University of Arizona "To a WWWA trouble consultant, recklessness is Tucson, AZ, USA 85721 a way of life" Kei, Dirty Pair's Great Adventure Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!usc!samsung!noose.ecn.purdue.edu!mentor.cc.purdue.edu!f3w From: f3w@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Mark Gellis) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: I'm baaaack! Bwahahaha! Message-ID: <9751@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> Date: 17 Apr 90 06:33:21 GMT References: <1990Apr17.001819.18265@msuinfo.cl.msu.edu> Reply-To: f3w@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Mark Gellis) Organization: Purdue University Lines: 72 The Man Who Talked with Books takes his hand out of his jacket, takes his hand off the Baretta 92F he carries in a nylon shoulder holster, quietly thanks God that he did not have to use it. Since Zach is clearly a regular, he does not give his lecture on "Why People Should Not Fuck Around with Guns." (For those who are interested, my favorite part goes something like this: I will be chatting with my students about political issues. If gun control comes up, I will admit that I enjoy target shooting, but that I am in favor of putting strict regulations on gun ownership, mostly in the area of making people take classes in gun safety, etc. When my students ask why, I ask them "Have you ever been angry enough, just for five seconds, to kill someone?" Most of them nod. I then proceed, while counting one one thousand two one thousand, and so on, to walk about six feet, mime taking a pistol out of a drawer, walk over to about two feet from the prettiest little sorority wannabe in the first row, and, around the time I have said four one thousand (which is actually how long it takes), point my "pistol" at her, and go "BANG! BANG! BANG!" in a very loud voice. For my students who haven't quite caught on, I say at this point: "It takes four seconds to take a pistol out of a drawer and kill someone. If people like to shoot, if they want to own guns, that is their own business, but guns are machines designed for killing people, and if you do not treat them with respect, you are a fool, and you are a dangerous fool." This is enormously effective when used on the average college freshman. The ones who are nodding, and not simply stunned, at this point, are usually those students who are themselves shooters.") Of course, if we looked closely, I imagine that Zach's weapon is probably only a plastic water pistol version of an Uzi (Zach sounds like he is too smart to risk even the one-in-a-million-chance accident). But still, playing around with realistic looking toy guns is becoming more and more dangerous these days. Police have killed children because they thought some kid was really pointing a real gun at them. Phew! Actually, I wanted to talk about something else. "Mike, please give me a shot of Glenfiddich." He lays a buck on the table. He goes on: "Once again, my quest for a suitable young ladyfriend has met with failure. This time, the delightful candidiate, who shall remain un- named, although I doubt anyone here knows her, a woman of sweet temper, a loving mother to her three-year-old daughter, and a person of beauty and honesty and honor, has decided to date someone else because she was dating him before I asked her. Now, I have some consolation from one simple fact: ---> THE MAN IS AN IDIOT <--- Which means that (a) if she stays with him, it is a good sign that we would probably have ultimately not been compatable, although I think that we will always be friends, or (b) she is likely to discover that she cannot deal with her current, witless beau, will drop him, and, because she has already said she might like to date me, is likely to suggest that we try being more than friends and see how it turns out. Of course, at the moment, I am a tad irate with the way things have been going. But, of course, also, I have no intention of giving up. This is part of being human. (Mind you, I am not proud; if anyone wants to help, please feel free to offer advice, condolances, phone numbers of young, single, female friends you think might be interested, etc.)" He steps up to the chalk line... "To Eve's daughters. The most dangerous game." The little glass breaks like a stroke of lightning. Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!deimos.cis.ksu.edu!unmvax!uokmax!guest6 From: guest6@uokmax.uucp (Laura Holmbeck) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: A rose by any other... Message-ID: <1990Apr17.093839.2702@uokmax.uucp> Date: 17 Apr 90 09:38:39 GMT Distribution: na Organization: Engineering Computer Network, University of Oklahoma, Norman, OK Lines: 22 The albino Tygress stretched out in front of the fireplace slowly streeeeetches her long, pale, but sinuous form... She rubs one shoulder against SilverSinger with an intensity that almost rubs him off his seat, but suitably erases that itch... He amusedly skritches her 'neath her chin, while she pleasedly rumbles a purr at him. She shimmers for a minute and transmogrifies to human shape. She strides confidently up to the bar and scrambles thru her pockets for two dollar bills which she presents to the bar tender... "Two Astis please! I have something to celebrate!" She collects them both and presents one to SilverSinger, then returns with hers to the chalk line. "I have a belated announcement... I have been Named Kahrynda by my good Friend, Taldin! For this I am undeniably beholden - I truly treasure my Name." She lifts her champagne glass in Taldin's direction. "And now a toast... TO MONOGAMY! AND THOSE WHO DO NOT CONSIDER IT A LOST ART!" She swiftly swallows the Asti and tosses the glass to the fireplace where she is rewarded with a satisfying tinkle of breaking glass... Kahrynda Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!samsung!uunet!zephyr.ens.tek.com!tektronix!reed!mojo From: mojo@reed.bitnet (an open subset of the blackboard) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Here is my song Message-ID: <14724@reed.UUCP> Date: 16 Apr 90 19:43:01 GMT References: <14696@reed.UUCP> <9708@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> Sender: news@reed.UUCP Reply-To: mojo@reed.bitnet (an open subset of the blackboard) Distribution: usa Organization: Youth Hostile, Portland, OR Else Lines: 57 In article <9708@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> f3w@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Mark Gellis) writes: >Anyone here a Tom Waits fan, by any chance? Unable to resist, Morpheus extracts his bass from a virtual somewhere and ends up by the piano---how he manages to do this without leaving the story poker game is not intuitively obvious even to the poster... "You know 'Jockey Full of Bourbon,' Eddie?" Fast Eddie grins and plays; G to an Em, and from there... "You better sing this," Morpheus says. "I've got the range but not the tone... Edna Million in a drop dead suit Dutch pink on a downtown train Two dollar pistol but the gun won't shoot I'm on the corner in the pouring rain Fifteen men on a dead man's chest And I've been drinking from a broken cup Two pairs of pants and a mohair vest I'm full of bourbon, I can't stand up Hey little bird, fly away home House is on fire, your children are alone Schaefer broke a bottle on Morgan's head And I've been stepping on the devil's tail Across the stripes of a full moon's face And through the bars of a Cuban jail Bloody fingers on a purple knife Flamingo drinking from a cocktail glass I'm on the lawn with someone else's wife Come admire the view from up on top of the mast Hey little bird, fly away home Your house is on fire, your children are alone (Eddie and Morpheus look at each other quizzically, skipping the next line; anyone who can understand it deserves a medal...) ...and a Slingerland ride To the carnival is what she said A hundred dollars makes it dark inside Hey little bird, fly away home Your house is on fire, your children are alone "Damn the third verse," Morpheus mutters; and they realize together that the song is supposed to repeat and fade, and it ends by mutual consent on something diminished. -- /^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ | It's worse than that, { Nathan Tenny } Acme Hedgehog Inserters | | it's physics, Jim! { ...tektronix!reed!mojo } Implementation Director | \^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/ Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!usc!samsung!uunet!zephyr.ens.tek.com!tektronix!reed!thalen From: thalen@reed.UUCP (Thalen, son of chaos) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Back to Normal (?) Keywords: Speed. Message-ID: <14730@reed.UUCP> Date: 16 Apr 90 22:55:53 GMT References: <15317@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> Reply-To: thalen@reed.UUCP (Thalen, son of chaos) Organization: Reed College, Portland OR Lines: 28 Thalen looks up at the Green Tiger. "I'm glad you've got everything at least somewhat under control." "Something interesting that doesn't quite belong posted, but ... I have no option. I have sent three letters to you, all of of which bounced at least once. Now another has repeatedly bounced. I don't know if *ANY* of my mail has gotten to you. Everything that has bounced has this message: This mail message is undeliverable. (Probably to or from system 'phoenix') It was sent to you or by you. Sorry for the inconvenience. Any idea why? Anyone else having this problem? Oh, yes, it also took FOURTEEN DAYS to return to me, with an "undeliverable" tag on it..." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!" "A Toast! To $#^&^ BITNET and USENET!" (Thalen doesn't exactly swear. You just see a string of symbols appear above his head. The glass hits with a velocity 1000 times the speed of light) Thalen, Abider in a reality where light takes 14 days to get from coast to coast. {Gnash} Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!bat.cis.ohio-state.edu!kent_a_jenkins From: kent_a_jenkins@bat.cis.ohio-state.edu Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: More Story Poker Keywords: touch, hug, story Message-ID: <79399@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu> Date: 17 Apr 90 15:51:46 GMT Sender: usenet_news@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu Reply-To: Thenomain Organization: Ohio State University Computer and Information Science Lines: 39 Thenomain looks down at his hand as the stories go around the table. (Right now I think we have Hildy, wildy, and myself playing. Two -ildy's and a -nomain. Hmmm...) "I'll take two cards." He places two down and takes two off the top and looks at his hand, nodding. "You folks?" A little distracted by the conversation behind him, he turns around in his chair and says, "I still feel nervous about that touching thing. No other comment. Well, almost no other comment. I reserve the right to say something if it so makes sense to me at the time." [To those who know what any assembly, NMI...] Enterances and exits enough to make his head spin, Thenomain then stands up and nods to the newcomers, "Hey, welcome, folks. Have a Coke and a smile, and have a seat somewhere. Hope you're not in too much of a hurry, though. There's a lot to do, here, and a lot to say. And, if it's interesting to someone, you'll get a reaction." He smirks somewhat wryly. "Alright, alright, I didn't mean to incriminate, but I know a few people who have stopped dropping by because they were tired of talking themselves blue in the face without as much as a wink and a nod. Lord knows I had to yell and I hate doing that. "Funny thing, though, is that I still feel like an outast, here. I took Summer Vacation to get it out of my system. "I have not had anything go especially wrong with my life, execpt in stories. Yeah, I've about died as a child, been bitten by a dog, kicked by a horse, ridiculed, harrassed, and all that, but I try to forget about those." Something nags at Thenomain a moment. "Damn, they can't just let me type, can they? Well, who's turn for a story?" -=- -- Thenomain -- Kent Jenkins -- "I'm a figment of my own -- -- jenkins@osu-20.ircc.ohio-state.edu -- imagination, thank you." -Kaj -- -- kent-j@cis.ohio-state.edu -- Brainwave Turbulance, Inc. -- -- It's our lives, the U.S. Constitution! (Void where prohibited by Law) -- Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!think!yale!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!jarthur!bweed From: bweed@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Mask of the Tibetan Dinosaurs) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Help a fellow out... Message-ID: <6366@jarthur.Claremont.EDU> Date: 17 Apr 90 16:18:44 GMT Organization: Hotel Pandemonium (Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA) Lines: 21 A face just barely manifests itself in the bar; the voice is weak and whispery. "We seem to have a fellow here having some of the problems Hildy was having in terms of making himself heard. Can anyone help him out?" From: ncr-sd!savage!zap@ncrcae.uucp Date: Tue, 17 Apr 90 05:40:19 GMT ... Do you know an address for posting through mail? Or could you post this request in case someone else does? I've been reading alt.callahans since about November and posting but to no avail. Thanks for any help you can give me. Zap "Much appreciated..." but it fades out again. -- | Brandi Weed bweed@jarthur.claremont.edu !uunet!jarthur!bweed | Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!samsung!noose.ecn.purdue.edu!mentor.cc.purdue.edu!f3w From: f3w@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Mark Gellis) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Here is my song Message-ID: <9761@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> Date: 17 Apr 90 17:10:02 GMT References: <14696@reed.UUCP> <9708@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> <14724@reed.UUCP> Reply-To: f3w@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Mark Gellis) Distribution: usa Organization: Purdue University Lines: 10 The Man Who Talked with Books remarks: "The line in question is: Yellow sheets in a Hong Kong bed Stazybo horn and a Slinderland ride. The album, by the way, is RAIN DOGS, and I recommend listening to it because, much as we love this place, we do not YET have an audio track for it."