Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!bionet!uwm.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!samsung!uunet!shelby!csli!cphoenix From: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: love Message-ID: <13185@csli.Stanford.EDU> Date: 19 Apr 90 08:21:09 GMT References: <8913@pogo.WV.TEK.COM> Sender: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Reply-To: cphoenix@csli.stanford.edu (Chris Phoenix) Distribution: na Organization: Center for the Study of Language and Information, Stanford U. Lines: 35 In article <8913@pogo.WV.TEK.COM> andyd@pogo.WV.TEK.COM (Laura Davidson) writes: > "But there is something demeaning about being in love. Suddenly >one is at the mercy of another. When you lose your independence, >what do you have left? Yes, you are at the mercy of another. You are putting yourself in a position where you can be hurt. You are making yourself vulnerable. But this is not demeaning. Because you are also putting yourself in a postition where you can help someone else, and be helped, and working together it is possible to create something far more beautiful than was possible alone. You do not lose your independence. If someone forces you to do something, you are not independent. However, if someone requests that you do something, and you do it, you are independent. It's true that in love you may be expected to sacrifice a lot for the other person. But if the sacrifice is voluntary, how can you say that you have lost your independence? And love gives freedoms that are not possible without it. > "Red is the color of blood, hell, love, and anger. That seems >pretty significant to me. Of course, as anyone can point out, so is >the fact that I don't have a boyfriend...." Well, I don't have a girlfriend. My current position is, "Love is fine, if you can find it, but since almost all of the people I know don't have the ability to make a relationship work, it's not worth looking." I'm sure someone can give me a reason why that's not true either. But although our positions are different, I suspect they come from the same source. So I will not wish that you fall in love, but I will wish that you will find whatever will make you happy--and add, sotto voce, that this probably includes love. -- Chris Phoenix | "I've spent the last nine years structuring my cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU | life so that this couldn't happen." ...And I only kiss your shadow, I cannot see your hand, you're a stranger now unto me, lost in the dangling conversation, and the superficial sighs... Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!shelby!csli!cphoenix From: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: reflections/reply/ah well Message-ID: <13186@csli.Stanford.EDU> Date: 19 Apr 90 09:09:53 GMT References: <8914@pogo.WV.TEK.COM> Sender: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Reply-To: cphoenix@csli.stanford.edu (Chris Phoenix) Organization: Center for the Study of Language and Information, Stanford U. Lines: 127 In article <8914@pogo.WV.TEK.COM> andyd@pogo.WV.TEK.COM (Laura Davidson) writes: >Lyra solidifies, a neutral look set firmly on her face. > "Pardon me, folks, if I seem a little upset. You have all been very >supportive and helpful, but recent events have conspired against your >efforts, one in particular. So now I think I am back where I started." I've sent you some e-mail about this. I won't reproduce it here, because it might be seen as flaming the lurker, but I hope that you will soon be able to view this from a different perspective--one in which the letter loses much of its power to hurt you. Now, to answer the lurker... I'm replying to you second-hand, so I may misunderstand what you say. If you want to talk to me about it, please do. I'm curious about how you came to some of the conclusions you allegedly wrote... > "To the lurker who wrote me saying (s)he was ashamed of the lot of us, >because we knew no better than to believe in every fairy tale and fantasy >that came our way, like trusting children: You say we know no better than to believe in a fairy tale. Let's break this down: You say that this "Callahans" thing is a fairy tale. You say we believe in it. You say that we "know no better". And you say that because of this, you are ashamed of us. First, what is Callahans? The original Callahans, in Spider Robinson's stories, could be called a fairy tale. But you are talking about the "Callahans" associated with this newsgroup? Perhaps you think it is the same as Spider's Callahans, and thus is also a fairy tale. In this case, you're wrong. It is not the same, but is based on some of the ideas. Perhaps you think that it is a fairy tale because it has no physical reality. Well, again you're wrong. It has reality in the patterns of bits on disks. It has reality in the way it affects the people who take part in it. By the reasoning you use, the USSR is also a fairy tale, because it is based on Communism. Second, you say we believe in it. I doubt that anyone here believes that the Tin Woodman or the Green Tiger exist as physical entities. However, they affect us exactly as much as if they did exist and were described to us. However, when I read a posting from the Tin Woodman, I believe that someone out there is actually saying something, and that this posting should be read as though it came from a Tin Woodman, simply because that's how the poster wishes to be viewed. You say we know no better. Do you really think that we believe that a physical Callahan's Saloon exists? Do you think we don't know that there is a human being behind the Tin Woodman? Look to the "real" people around you. Every one of them is wearing a mask of some form, and most of them don't know it and are taken in by all the other masks. At least in Callahan's the masks are explicit. And surely you can't fault us for communicating by symbols as well as words? Finally, you say you are ashamed of us. Why should you be? Because we create an image and spend time interacting with the image? What do you think you do whenever you talk to someone? Is it because we spend time on images that don't have physical counterparts? I ask again, what is wrong with communicating by means of symbols? > ... And I resent, though resentment has >little place in CAllahans, I resent your comment that Callahans is just a >`useless waste of money which should be removed from the net'." Perhaps you see no use for this newsgroup. That's your right. I see no use for many of the newsgroups on the net, and some of them I think are actually worse than useless. That's my right. But to call it "useless" is to say that it is of no use to anybody. You do not have the right to say that, and if you try you will simply be wrong again. Alt.callahans is useful to people. Many people have asked for, and received, help for serious problems. Perhaps you have no problems, or perhaps you can't, for whatever reason, use this forum to get help. The fact remains that for many people, alt.callahans is useful. Yes, it uses money. Why are you worried about money? Are you a system administrator? Then remove it from your system. If not, why are you worried? I hesitate to make judgments on other people's mental processes, but your mention of money sounds like you are searching for an excuse to speak against this group. >"And I cannot believe you called the lot of us psychotics who belonged in >mental institutions! Though yuo **ARE** driving me in that direction!!" Actually, I find this hard to believe too. It is too ridiculous to upset me, but I will address it in defense of others who may take it more to heart. Last I heard, the definition of "psychotic" is "a person who has lost touch with reality." You seem to have made this diagnosis--please realize that it *is* a medical diagnosis, one which you are almost certainly not qualified to make--on the basis of reading our postings. Yes, some of us create personas, and the rest of us speak as though to the personas. And yes, when we post to the group, most of us try to fit within the context of our mental picture of the Saloon. But do you think we don't realize that the things on this group have no physical reality? Do you think that because we participate in creating a story, in acting a scene, we belong in a mental hospital? All I can say is that yet another time, you're wrong. From what Lyra has said about your letter, all I can think is that you have totally missed the point of this newsgroup. You are passing judgment on something you know nothing about, you are worrying about things you have no legitimate reason to worry about, and you are needlessly upsetting people for no reason whatsoever. Why are you doing this? I hope that you have missed the point, because I would hate to think that you would be capable of understanding what is happening here, and still mailing a letter so hurtful and full of wrong. I would really prefer to believe that you didn't know what you were doing. And I hope that you think, at least a little, on why you felt the need to send a letter like that. >Lyra looks furious, and glares about. > Her glance lands on an empty chair nearby. She picks it up and throws >it, HARD, into a corner. You hear splintering wood. Then she starts to cry >(cry, not CRY) uncontrollably. Chris flies over to the corner where the chair lies and picks up the splinters lying around. "I'll help pay for the chair, Mike. I don't know what kind of wood this is, but it's great fuel! And I've broken quite a few things in anger myself." With his fire considerably brightened, he flys back to Lyra and perches in front of her. He spreads his wings, and the breeze warms her and drys her tears before they can stain her clothes. "I don't know if this will help, but here's a fuzzy. It's a bit more versatile than most, and considerably warmer." A flaming feather slips from his moving wings and drifts toward her. On the way, it turns into a bright red warm fuzzy. "Yes, red is the color of both love and anger. Make of it what you will, and remember that both emotions have their place." -- Chris Phoenix | "I've spent the last nine years structuring my cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU | life so that this couldn't happen." ...And I only kiss your shadow, I cannot see your hand, you're a stranger now unto me, lost in the dangling conversation, and the superficial sighs... Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!brutus.cs.uiuc.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!sdd.hp.com!hplabs!hplred!egly From: egly@hplred.HP.COM (Diana Egly) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Son of Radio Free Colorado Message-ID: <20940055@hplred.HP.COM> Date: 18 Apr 90 12:47:17 GMT References: <9060064@hpfcso.HP.COM> Organization: Hewlett Packard Labs, Palo Alto CA Lines: 31 Hello? Have I reached Radio Free Colorado? Can I make a dedication? I don't know the title or the group, but I hear it on the popular stations and I know the chorus. The chorus? Oh, yeah, it goes "I don't want to fall in love Love cuts just like a knife. You make the knife feel good. I'll fight you to the end." Who's it dedicated to? To my friend who gets cut pretty bad by the notion of love. Oh, yes, you might want to update your traffic report. The Friendship freeway is nearly vacant, with traffic flowing freely. I got there once by taking the LJBF exit, but I'm not sure I could duplicate that. And most folks never find the freeway from that exit. There is an unmarked exit, an interchange actually, that is a direct route to the Friendship, but you've got to be a bit adventurous to try it. Uncharted territory and all that. Well, I guess that's it. Oh, could you play a tune for me? Nipper by Meg Christian. It's about the deep an intimate relationship between woman and cat. Do you know it? No? The chorus goes: "And you come and you go as you must but when you stay you stay with me in trust." And say hi to Rorschach for me. Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!noao!asuvax!cs.utexas.edu!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!bat.cis.ohio-state.edu!kent-j From: kent-j@bat.cis.ohio-state.edu (Thenomain) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: What is callahans? (humor) Summary: Humor? Where? Message-ID: <79507@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu> Date: 19 Apr 90 13:51:46 GMT References: Sender: news@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu Reply-To: Thenomain Organization: Ohio State University Computer and Information Science Lines: 32 [Pre-note: Humor and I are old friends... :)] In article egly@HPLRED.HPL.HP.COM (Diana Egly) writes: >Now I know that it is hard to stay with painful feelings. Especially >to stay with them long enough to work through them. And I realize that >maybe pushing feelings away with humor is what some people need to do in >order to survive. But don't expect me to laugh when it happens. It's >not funny, no matter how clever and witty it may be. Instead it feels to >me as if the emotional burden has been loaded onto my shoulders and I >have to carry it alone. Then something's wrong. I don't know if you're right or not, I don't think that matters, but something is defiately wrong when someone feels PAIN from the attempt of removing it. Of course, makes you wonder if Emotion is a form of energy (and therefore cannot be created or destroyed, only changed). It's not for me to guess, though. And it's not something I will change in myself. Forgetting is a powerful tool as is 9/10 of the human mental functions (it's amazing how much control we take for granted). I just cannot see why should... no, why you /do/ take the responcibilty of someone else's attempts to help themselves as grief on yourself. Although it is nice to see someone /finally/ explain what Callahan's is. [Believe it or not, I have not read any of the books. *gasp!*] Thanks, it helps. -=- -- Thenomain -- Kent Jenkins -- "I'm a figment of my own -- -- jenkins@osu-20.ircc.ohio-state.edu -- imagination, thank you." -Kaj -- -- kent-j@cis.ohio-state.edu -- Brainwave Turbulance, Inc. -- -- It's our lives, the U.S. Constitution! (Void where prohibited by Law) -- Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!samsung!uunet!zephyr.ens.tek.com!tektronix!reed!thalen From: thalen@reed.UUCP (Dr. Paradox) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Hi, all you peoples... Summary: Disaster! Keywords: #$^%& USENET Message-ID: <14741@reed.UUCP> Date: 18 Apr 90 22:18:40 GMT Reply-To: thalen@reed.UUCP (Dr. Paradox) Distribution: alt Organization: Reed College, Portland OR Lines: 14 Thalen stands up, and walks to the center of the room. "Howdy, all. I have an interesting question for all you people out there. You might have noticed for the past few (days?) that the whole Reed college crew, including myself, have been flickering in and out. This is because our news has gotten about 35 of the last 100 messages. This figure comes from the 15-20 message per day average, and the fact that we have only gotten Callahan news two out of the last five days. Of course, I may be wrong- but I know I have missed at least a few articles, because of multiple references to articles I know I haven't read. Anyone else having this problem? AARGH! The only reason I like USENET is because it's the only game in town." Thalen, a Frustrated Mage Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!ira.uka.de!fauern!tumuc!guug!ixos!news From: turner@reed.bitnet (Phantasmagoria) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Here is my song Message-ID: <726@ixos.UUCP> Date: 19 Apr 90 11:22:21 GMT Sender: news@ixos.UUCP Lines: 66 Caithelin steps from the corner where she's been trying to dance. {I will learn to do this, really.} "Well, I think I have another song to sing. I don't remember which of you made me think of it and for that I apologize. I just remember someone feeling bad about having to choose to get out of a relationship and this song sort of popped into my head, and so much belatedly I sing it. Eddie will you help?" She steps to the piano and tries to look like she knows what she's doing. Listens as he plays the first few bars. Guess that it was bound to happen Just a matter of time, Well I've come to my decision babe, And it's one of the painful kind Cause it seems that you wanted a martyr Thats the one thing I just couldn't do Cause darlin' I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you. Well I really got to hand it to you Girl, you really tried, But for every time that we spent laughing There were two times that I cried You were trying to make me a martyr Something I just wouldn't be Darlin', I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you. Cause tables are meant for turning People are bound to change Bridges are meant for burning When the people and memories they join aren't the same So I hope that you can find another Who can take what I could not He'll have to be a super guy Or maybe a super god You see, I never was much of a martyr before And I ain't bound to start nothing new Darlin' I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you. There is a sort of contemplative look in her eyes. "I don't know that it quite fits that situation but it sort of means it's o.k. to move out of a relationship that isn't working for you." "Thanks Eddie, can I buy you a drink?" She walks to the bar and gives Hildy a hug, "I think hugs are one very definite thing that people don't think enough about their RDA of. More hugs. People worry so much about nutrition, and getting a proper diet, but what about a proper diet of hugs and touches? I think you live longer with a diet of bad food and good hugs than the other way around. But then, I don't believe in bad food. Singing, hugging and cooking are the three things that I do for my spiritual and mental health. They make me feel good, and it tends to make others feel good." "Terry, I'm sorry about your father, but it does look like you are going about dealing with it well, and you have a wonderful lady to help you through it. Can I give you a hug as well?" Hugs him. "Take care of each other." "Jilara and Alex, I think you are both saying the same things, you don't have to fight over it." Here she smiles a bit mischeviously, "Don't be so silly and if you to keep this up the room is going to be filled with soap boxes and then we'll all be hung out to dry." She finally wanders back to her corner and continues to dance. "Oh yeah, dancing is another thing I do because it makes me feel good." Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!ira.uka.de!fauern!tumuc!guug!ixos!news From: jane@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM (Jane Beckman x4030) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Touch Message-ID: <746@ixos.UUCP> Date: 19 Apr 90 11:24:42 GMT Sender: news@ixos.UUCP Lines: 123 Chris Phoenix recently responded to a letter concerning touch, systems, etc. I (Jilara) would like to offer some of my own observations on his observations, and this topic, as well. Human beings are primates. Primates are very touch-oriented animals. It is one of the forms of interactive communication and reassurance that the great apes employ. Read into this statement what you will. As a victim of various kinds of abuse, I can tell you that I'm a whit weird at the edges because I've got a few defensive modes (many of which operate on a purely instinctive basis) and residual touch-oriented instincts, which were very scary to deal with at first, because I tended to regard touch as a threat. (I'm still a lot more comfortable being touched by women than men, and it's not socialization---it's that I react badly to men sometimes because I associate them with sexual abuse. This is ingrained on an almost instinctive core level. Don't startle me: I fight first and control myself later.) When I was falling apart at the seams, when I first came into the place, I had several incidents when I had "freaked out" and struggled and fought against several people who were trying to restrain me, because some level considered that struggle essential to my survival. Why do people dislike being touched? I dislike being touched by people who treat me like a possession or an inanimate object, to this day, no matter what mode I'm operating in. I think the key is in what the touch means. If the only time I were going to be touched was in a sexual manner, I'd resign from the human race and go be a hermit somewhere. Unfortunately, our society has major segments where the only time folks touch is in interactions related to "mating behavior." For people like me, who are conditioned to reject such things as ultimately threatening, this would create total isolation. Inside one's walls, there is a certain amount of envy in watching the touch-related interactions, especially when you are only touched when people want to exploit you in some way. You feel anger, reject the need entirely, get hostile toward those who interact easily, because you are not one of them. It's a craving and fear, all wrapped up in one unhealthy package. I am speaking only from personal experience of my college years and earlier, so I do not presume to speak for anyone else. However, if my words rouse a response of anger in you, at the mere concept of craving and fear and need interlinked, you might do well to look at why you feel that way. It was my first (though long-ignored) clue as to how far amiss I had strayed. I became angry at even the suggestion that things might be different, that I could possibly *want* anything different. I might add that I disliked touch and felt physically ill when people behaved affectionately. It was a Pavlovian reflex, at that point. I remain convinced that those who dislike touch dislike it because it is somehow threatening, an invasion, interpreted as an impingement on personal boundaries. It needn't be. But for those who think this way, it must be actively UNLEARNED, and one must learn trust, and learn to feel safe being touched. It should never come uninvited. But it befits one little to play armored porkypine, either. Because, as humans, as primates, part of our validation is in touch. It's programmed into the cells of our being. actively harmful. Chris Phoenix points out: >Lack of touch is only one symptom of the system. However, it is a major >lack, and I believe it is clear evidence that the system is sub-optimal. >Fact: Severe lack of touch will cause physical damage. >Fact: In orphanages, babies used to *die* from lack of touch. It was > called "failure to thrive". This is true, and this is biology. It's demonstrated again and again, in that isolated societies tend to have certain "cultural disfunctions" which cause early death and illness, and other malaise. Monkey babies who are not touched grow up sickly, stunted, and neurotic. I wonder if there is a great deal of pathology in a society if its members have too high a ratio of such symptoms. (Witness how many yuppies end up in therapy.) In Puritain New England, about the only touching was to hit other people. Did real wonders for the disposition. Witness the witch trials, torture-punishments, etc. Chris also states: >You also seem to be worrying that I am being insensitive to people with >"good" reasons to avoid touch, and that in my ideal system people would be >forced to touch when they didn't want to. Well, it's true that in my ideal >system people would freely touch each other. >But I'm not silly enough to say that everyone on this earth "should" enjoy >touching. I'm just saying that people who do should not be trained to >avoid it. In the ideal society, no one is "forced" to participate in a experience they do not like. This is called "rape" in the broad sense of the word: it may be physical, spiritual, mental, or whatever, but it is still a coercive and unpleasant experience. There is an old joke about "Come ze revolution, we will all eat peaches and cream!" "But comrad, I do not like peaches and cream!" "Come ze revolution, ve vill all eat peaches and cream and LIKE it!" I think it speaks for itself. I think most human beings who have not been _socialized_ otherwise like being touched. There may be some babies who cry harder when Mama picks them up, and stop when they are put down, but I haven't heard of them. Those, in this ideal society, would be respected as well, but I, personally, don't know if they exist. I don't know if they would survive infancy, frankly, because these things evolved as survival tools. That's just my sociobiologist's viewpoint. Me, I'm just another primate. Maybe a somewhat messed-up primate, but I still consider myself part of the general class. I think my response is of public interest, so I am posting it to alt.callahans with all of your quotations removed, and without identifying who I'm responding to. I don't think this breaks any net.rules or callahans. rules. If you don't want to be anonymous, that's fine with me too. You can feel free to post any of my letters to you on this subject. [This is the end of my response. Thanks to all of you who have read this far. Any comments will be greatly appreciated.] -- Chris Phoenix | "I've spent the last nine years structuring my cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU | life so that this couldn't happen." ...And I only kiss your shadow, I cannot see your hand, you're a stranger now unto me, lost in the dangling conversation, and the superficial sighs... ---Jilara the Exile (I hope.) "If I'm not home accepting what I cannot change, I'm out changing what I can't accept." ---Ashleigh Brilliant alternate mail path: jane%fsdcupt.csd@urbana.mcd.mot.com My email went to Urbana, but all I got was this stupid router! Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!ira.uka.de!fauern!tumuc!guug!ixos!news From: cri@acsu.Buffalo.EDU (christopher r invidiata) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Another newcomer enters Message-ID: <786@ixos.UUCP> Date: 19 Apr 90 11:28:48 GMT Sender: news@ixos.UUCP Lines: 24 Zippo looks sidewise at the oddly varying gentleman just making himself known, and chuckles... "'Tis not antlers one needs ot be in good grace with mother!" Only now does anyone notice the knife at his side, with a black hilt with several symbols carved and painted in. He leaps off of his chair and bows low to the ground, hair brushing the ground when he does, snaps up and says- "My name is Zippo, don't ask about the clone part, it's a long story that I guess I'll get into at another time, but in the meantime, the folks here seem to be pairing up to dance, and I have not, apparently, been noticed over in the corner, so would you care to accompany me? Don't worry, I'm not particularly discriminating about gender. I won't be insulted if you refuse, just be gentle with me." With that, Zippo the Clone steps back and smiles. Z.T.C ===================================================== =cri@lictor.acsu.buffalo.edu = "An Eagle may soar, = = aka = but a weasel will = = V118PV6E@ubvmsb.bitnet = never get sucked = Path: mit-eddie!media-lab!snorkelwacker!ira.uka.de!fauern!tumuc!guug!ixos!news From: scotth@corp.sgi.com (Scott Henry) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: WARNING Message-ID: <734@ixos.UUCP> Date: 19 Apr 90 11:23:18 GMT Sender: news@ixos.UUCP Lines: 46 The Observer pipes up from one of the virtual corners: 'The phrase "... although even here you will have shallow, self-serving bastards and bitches a-plenty" reminds me of Sturgeon's Law [1] and how it relates to usenet in general, and alt.callahans in specific. Is it supposed to apply to each newsgroup, or just to usenet as a whole? If the former, it seems to be something of the exception to the rule. In any case, It seems to be the abode of more than its fair share of fine people (however much they may hurt). But then again, who said usenet is fair? While I find much of interest on the net, Sturgeon's Law seems to more than apply... 'I am normally not much of a talker (which is why I refer to myself as The Observer, in analogy to The Doctor), I value reading/listening to all that goes on here. This is a real place, for is not verbal communication (and is not writing merely a "concrete"-ization of verbal communication, though lacking intonation, etc) one of the major (if not THE major) way we invent the world? There seems to be something of a correllation in this Place, between the prominence of a person, and how much they do/have hurt, or need/give reassurance. I speak little here, partly because my life has never had the sources of hurt and pain that many of you have experienced. Compared to many of you, my life has been (with one exception) virtually "perfect" (that's the wrong word, but the best I can think of at the moment). The exception (there's always a catch, isn't there?) is that I am still single at 35, though it's mostly because I haven't tried very hard. I am complete -- I don't NEED someone else to make me complete. I definitely would not go so far as to say that I am completely happy alone, because I'm not -- I'm definitely happier when I have an SO -- as long as she's a friend, too. I value friendship very much, possibly above love, certainly above lust. But I am not very gregarious -- I dislike crowds (and this is probably the only "bar" I'll enter voluntarily; I'm also alergic to tobacco smoke, and I'm tired of being asked why I don't drink). 'Boy! I sure got off the subject there (whatever it was) and rambled too much... Anyway, I gotta go and get packed, as I am leaving tomorrow morning too bright and early to drive down to a family get-together, and visit friends and relatives for a week. Let's see, I'm guessing 1350 miles for my trip, and me driving alone... I wonder how many articles will be waiting for me here when I get back (I'm caught up, for a change...). -- The Observer (aka scotty) -- Scott Henry | Traveller on Dragon Wings Information Services, | Silicon Graphics, Inc | These are my Opinions only! Whose else? Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!ira.uka.de!fauern!tumuc!guug!ixos!news From: wgarmil@HAWK.ULOWELL.EDU (WildCard) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: The falling of some illusions Message-ID: <818@ixos.UUCP> Date: 19 Apr 90 11:32:26 GMT Sender: news@ixos.UUCP Lines: 37 After spending Easter weekend crying in memory of a lost love, WildCard finally looks up from the fire. And for once, he is not alone. Diana- It is Marcy's memory which anchors me in reality. Before her, it was the need to care for a friend who was like me, but unable to care for himself. Before these two, I had no anchor & was "permanantly" adrift. But to answer your question, no I do not have a anchor (other than Marcy's memory) currently. However, I am better off than I was before and current do not need a physical anchor (I do know I can not be without one forever, however I may feel today). You offer is greatly appriciated. Nick- Thank you for reassuring me that this is were I needed to be this weekend. This place is truely a place of healing. To all the others who comforted me this weekend- Thank you. My contacts have currently fogged up and I can not see everyone around me, but I do feel you presence and appriciate it. I believe the time has come to remove this costume (at least for a while. It is as much a part of me as my glasses are). WildCard standup, moves over to a place where he won't blind anyone, and clangs his golden bracelets above his head. When the flash has died down, WildCard is gone and Wayne Garmil, reluctant time traveler and lost soul, is in his place. Without his costume gone, so are his illusions. He is slightly overweight, brown haired & eyed, average height and wears thick glasses. His eyes search the room for friends and comfort and settle upon Kady. But before he goes over to her, he must not ignore his new friends. But his smile says he will not forget about her. They will meet soon. Wayne heads back to his table to talk with his new friends. For a while, he has found a home. _ __ _ __ How can we dance ' ) / // / / ) / when our earth is turning? / / / o // __/ / __. __ __/ How can we sleep (_(_/ <_