Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!snorkelwacker!apple!usc!cs.utexas.edu!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!ucbvax!ucdavis!pollux!ez000691 From: ez000691@pollux Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Interconnectedness Summary: "friends" Keywords: long-winded as usual Message-ID: <6204@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu> Date: 8 Dec 89 04:11:05 GMT References: <11960@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> <12007@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> <11323@csli.Stanford.EDU> Sender: uucp@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu Reply-To: ez000691@pollux (Shadow) Followup-To: alt.callahans Distribution: usa Organization: University of California, Davis Lines: 126 In article <11323@csli.Stanford.EDU> cphoenix@csli.stanford.edu (Chris Phoenix) writes: > ...Touching people, especially women, is a >violation. Offering backrubs, for example, is one of the scariest things >you can do, and even if they accept--and enjoy it--they will probably become >scared of you later. > Learn how to make smalltalk. Never talk about unpleasant subjects. > Learn how to close a conversation. Be very careful when walking >with people. If they think you're following them, they'll freak. Even if >you're in the middle of a sentence, if your paths split, don't walk with >them for a while more--even if you have nothing to do! I'm told you should >just slow down, and close off the conversation quickly. > Learn how to say "Hi, how's it going?" "Pretty good" "That's good". >The proper way is very bright and cheerful, with lots of inflection in your >voice. Don't say the words like they have any significance at all. > ...Just say "Hi" with a >very big smile, as though you're delighted to see them--but you don't care >about interacting with them. > With women, be very careful they don't feel threatened. Don't do >anything to make them think you might be hitting on them. > Don't be obviously trying to make friends... > ...It's OK to want to meet people, but not OK to want >to be friends with them. Friends are an invasion of personal space. > ...Mute your emotions. > Don't offer too much help... > ...If you offer help to someone you don't know, they'll >wonder what your game is. It won't occur to them that you might actually >like helping people... > Be careful even if you think you've gotten past the social mask. >It will be up again soon, and people will be very scared of you if you >cause them to remove it temporarily, or even if you see them without it. >The backrub thing is a good example. If you're giving a backrub to a >casual acquaintance, don't give a really good one--you might break down >the mask, and then when it comes up again they'll avoid you from then on. >Also, if someone is in a vulnerable position, such as being really tired or >upset, be careful how you pry. You might be able to get past the mask, and >that might feel like a good thing. But then the next day, they'll remember >that you can get past their mask, and they'll stay away from you. > Keep your interactions on a superficial level. People don't like >having to think about social interactions. Don't expect anything important >to happen, and definitely don't try to make something important happen. > Above all, don't do anything extraordinary. Don't do anything that a >"socially correct" person wouldn't do. It's very unnerving, because if you >do something unexpected they might be put in a situation that their social >mask can't handle. This is a disturbing prospect, and people will stay away >from you if they think you might do that to them. > ...if you start to talk about a >serious subject, they don't know where the conversation might go, and so >they don't feel safe talking about it. > And last, don't be too quick to drop the rules. >-- >Chris Phoenix | A harp is a nude piano. >cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU | "More input! More input!" "I say *NO*!!!" Shadow has been fading steadily since the recitation began, and this outburst is clearly an effort. Nevertheless, he manages to make himself heard. He drifts over to the phoenix and focuses, with some difficulty. "What are you *doing*?" he demands, in a whisper. "No one knows about these masks better than I. Well, perhaps that's not strictly true, but I've had enough experience. I built mine when I was only four, and kept it firmly on for more than fifteen years. Oh, you've done an admirable job of hitting the high points. You may have missed one or two," he hisses, "such as: Avoid anyone who doesn't seem to be following these rules. You don't want your acquaintances mentally grouping you with such outcasts. And never actively seek others out, or call them on the phone without a specific, and brief, purpose in mind. If you run into someone, fine, as long as it doesn't last too long. If you happen to be in the same place, you may converse, following the above guidelines. "Watch your volume. Speaking too loudly can be a sign of involvement. Of course, being too quiet can make people wonder what you're really thinking, particularly if you keep silent. Learn to strike a happy medium. Never stick to people for too long -- odds are they're uncomfortable with your presence, and folks who know when to vanish quickly make good companions. Make certain you complain about the same topics others complain about. Avoid disagreeing: it makes you stand out. "Learn how to hover inobtrusively. If at a large-scale gathering, keep moving. Avoid eye contact whenever possible. And as you said, never show emotion, and never touch. "Well enumerated, my friend," he says bitterly. "You've discovered the best way to avoid being a pariah among peers. Don't get too close, and you'll be counted a 'friend' among the best. People won't mind having you around. They won't mind having you around. "The problem, as you mention, is that masks are addictive. After a while, it becomes too easy, almost. Before you realize it, you can't get it off, even if you wanted to. Which of course you don't, consciously, because the mask is painless. That's a masks's chief attribute. Like a fencing hel- met. It protects you from the world, and, because you never get too close, it protects you from those who might get too close to you. "It protects you from your *friends*! You advise against wearing the mask for your friends. I wholly agree -- but how do you take it off??" His eyes are burning, and his form trembles. "After the mask becomes second nature to you, you forget you're wearing it! You forget there are other ways to act! You never find anyone to remove it for, in any case!!" He spins to address the room at large. "Shall I tell you what this mask is? It's a vicious trap, nothing more. It doesn't just protect; it *smothers*. It insulates so well that you become absolutely incapable of seeing anything in the world around you but mask and more masks, obscuring, hiding. No more people, but only *personae*!..." His glass shatters in his hand. Blood fails to drip. He blinks, then shakes his head momentarily, and lets the fragments fall to the sawdust. "I'm sorry," he says, much subdued. "I know I'm over-reacting. You didn't mean any of that, of course. Someone needed to know how to interact without scaring people, and that's the best way. Of course. "But it took me so long to crack out of *my* mask. And every so often, when things get really bad, I secretly wish I had it back. But you know what?" He cocks an eyebrow at the phoenix. "I never try. I know better, now." He looks down at his insubstantial form, and adds, "Silly nicknames aside, of course. "I was lucky. I happened to run into enough people determined to break me out of my shell that they did it, somehow. And maybe my problem isn't everybody's...it's just that, as an actor, I was so damned *good*..." He takes a deep breath, then smiles at the phoenix. "Don't take any- thing I've said personally, Chris. You just struck an exposed nerve, that's all. With any luck people have figured out by now not to listen to me too carefully anyway. But I could *not* let those rules go by without comment. They very nearly ruined me." He sighs. "Wish I'd had your warning label when I started...maybe I wouldn't have wasted so many years avoiding -- no, fearing -- friends." With that, he slides back into the shadows near the fire, where he draws out a slip of paper and begins deliberately tearing it into pieces, letting the scraps drift into the flames. Shadow -- From the only slightly twisted mind of... "In case we decide to ez000691@pollux.ucdavis.edu surrender to them, Number One." Path: mit-eddie!mintaka!think!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!ucbvax!mtxinu!unisoft!greywolf From: greywolf@unisoft.UUCP (The Grey Wolf) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Interconnectedness Summary: THESE RULES ARE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO INVENTED THEM Keywords: BULLSHIT WIMPY-ASSED EMPTY-HEADED DRIVEL Message-ID: <2691@unisoft.UUCP> Date: 8 Dec 89 04:27:30 GMT References: <11960@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> <12007@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> <11323@csli.Stanford.EDU> Reply-To: greywolf@unisoft.UUCP (The Grey Wolf) Distribution: usa Lines: 451 ...uh, Hi, Chris... :-) (no the keywords do not apply to your thoughts on the matter, but to the rules themselves.) In article <11323@csli.Stanford.EDU> cphoenix@csli.stanford.edu (Chris Phoenix) writes: # This started as a posting, then became a letter, and now it's a posting # again. It's *very* long. The first half is the story of my social # development. The second half is social rules that I've learned for # dealing with social settings where masks are required. If you don't want # to read all of it, just hit 'j' or 'n'. This is a posting -- a very long posting with lots of cross-references, so if you don't want to read all of it right now, save it, junk it or whatever. # # In article <12007@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> you write: # >"My reason for being here is friendship. I have a problem making # >friends. I've only had a few in my life, almost all, for some strange # >reason, female. # # Same here... also, my female friends are often the kind that other women # hate/are jealous of on sight... just because they're too competent/beautiful/ # intense. Probably because that's the only kind that I don't scare away... # You mentioned an overprotective mother. I don't want to get Freudian here, # but mine was overprotective too, and I didn't really have a "manly" role # model. Funny, I was basically raised by my mom (I was usually scared to death of my dad -- I'll relate why later), but most of my friends are male. I keep scaring the girls/women off...! (at this point, I don't care, for reasons obvious to anyone who has been following along) # I suspect that's why so many of my friends are female--I just never # learned to like drinking, or sports, or cars, or ... nor did I really -- I drink a little because I like the taste of what I am drinking -- just like when I smoked (mj), I liked the taste of it, though the effect was kind of pleasant...... # I think I have more common ground with women than with most men. Despite the fact that I scare women off, I, too, have more common ground with women... # # >I'm an only child, so I never had the # >experience of getting along with siblings. # # I have a younger brother. He was *very* hard to get along with--everyone # in my family had trouble dealing with him. He's gotten better now, but # I've often wished I'd been an only child. The experience I got dealing # with him didn't help my social skills at all. Social skills? What are those? ;-) I have an older brother, but he's enough older that he was a third parent (bleah). He's 9 1/2 years older than I am... # [ lived in a small town, went to small school ] I went to private school for seven years -- had to *repeat* kindergarten be- cause my social skills were nil (more on this in a minute) -- and then got kicked out at the end of my fifth grade year for not doing my homework. Side note here. It seems I live my life kind of backwards. When I was in Kindergarten, all I wanted to do was learn because that was the environ- ment I was raised in (I learned to talk before I learned to walk, and my mom had me balancing chemical equations and doing time/speed/distance calculations in my head by the time I was five...). I didn't want to go out and play with the other kids much, I wanted to sit and fill my head with information. But NOOOOOOOO! They said, "It's time to put that work away and go play with the others, now." So then I get older and as I get older, I begin to get the idea and get involved in social interaction...with very few, very special people, mind you, but at least it was a start (I felt like nobody really liked me). And then I filled my head with everything I wanted to learn. I wanted to go out and take my free time and bop around. But NOOOOOOOO! They said, "You can't go off and have fun until you get your work done." I wish they'd have quit trying to make up my mind for me... # . Another part of the problem, I think, was that I was very # innocent about sexual things in grade school (overprotective mother again) # and so kids could always embarrass me easily. Once they learned this, I # spent a lot of my time being embarrassed. I spent my time like this, even up to about two years ago, and it still kind of makes me blush (I'm not completely comfortable with my body yet!). # # When I went to college, I knew I had a chance to make a fresh start, to # relate to a whole new group of people who didn't know how socially screwed # up I was. So I decided to start watching them, and learning how to behave. # It worked pretty well, and I learned fast. By the end of the year, I think # I was as adept socially as an average schoolie. I had made several good # friends as well. I got this in my senior year in High School. All the rest can fall by the wayside, but this was my best year. That year of my life is only barely matched by 1989. # # > self-centered ... 'clingy' ... personal space ... expectations # # [ ran into the same thing...people don't want to be friends...afraid] I have come to the conclusion that if they cannot accept you for who you are, as you are, then they are truly not worth the effort to be friends with. If they're afraid, they probably cannot handle the way you are. Personal space is a problem I never have (except with my ladyfriend/soul- mate, and then because of extenuating circumstances... or because I hang on too tightly to her (mistake!)). I seem to know intrinsically when to back off. # . I was really depressed # for a lot of this quarter, and finally decided that it simply wasn't worth # dealing with undergrads. For all intents and purposes, I'm an undergrad -- I actually have three years plus of "real" courses still left to complete. # I don't reject friendship, but I'm not trying to # gain friends among them anymore. I've just had too many senseless rejections, # scared too many people, wasted too much time, and had to learn too many rules. I had to learn the rules in fourth grade, and I learned them, and as miser- able as I was, I made my choice. I have no regrets now. When I was myself, nobody liked me (or so it seemed). When I tried to fit their mold, nobody liked me -- in fact, things got worse. So I figured, "If they don't like me if I'm myself, and they don't like me when I try to fit in, then I'm going to be myself, and to hell with them." It works for me. # I found the rules really hard to deal with, but for a while I tried to learn # them--even getting counseling from my friends on how to be more socially # acceptable. Then one day I realized that even around friends, I couldn't # stop using these rules and playing these games. That's the point at which # I decided that it wasn't worth it. I'm still learning the rules, but I'm # not practicing them anymore. I've replaced them with one very simple one: # If I don't know someone, he probably doesn't want to talk to me. This is # actually a very successful rule. If I try to be friends with people, I # scare them just like you do. If I just say "hi" and be polite, but don't # try to be friendly to them, they start thinking I'm a nice guy and wanting to # be friends with me. I don't know why this works. One of the rules I learned # was to "mute" my emotions and my reactions--this was supposed to make me # "cool". But if I don't try to be friendly, I guess that "mutes" me by about # the right amount. Gack. Mute emotions? usually this is unthinkable for me. What is this "cool" stuff? The friends I keep consider me a friend. Whether they think I'm "cool" or not is no concern. Of course, one cannot always show emotions to the world, but it's rare that my real emotions don't somehow show through, even if just a trickle for an instant to show the newcomer that yes, I feel, yes, I care, and yes, I hurt. I am mortal and immortal, just like you. I'm no more special, and no less special. # # Grads tend to not get as freaked out by me, and to be more open and require # less personal space. I think it's the fact that they've, what do we call it, "grown up" a tad, overcome a lot of their insecurities. Of course, some of us never make it that far, no matter how old we get. (How do you think this country gets its policies sometimes...?) # # > I was always taught that friends were trustworthy # >and honest and loyal, and failed to see how one could be friends # >otherwise. That's what I was taught. I have discovered therein the difference between friends and acquaintances. # # That's what I thought too. One of the most depressing things I had to # realize this quarter was that most of the people I thought were my friends # were really only just acting friendly. This is something that comes # naturally to most people, or else they've practiced it a lot--I suspect the # latter. Anyway, people can be very friendly as long as it doesn't cost them # anything. I know it's dishonest, but that's the way they are. Then when I # try to invoke any friendship, to invade their personal space in any way, I # find out that they aren't really my friend. And there's so many ways to invade # personal space... ask for a favor, start to tell them about any problem no # matter how trivial, even sit down too close to them (I'm told 2 feet is "way # too close"--that means you can't even fit 3 people on a sofa!). A foot and a half is about right for normal purposes...any closer than that and you will literally crunch elbows... # # Anyway, the only advice I can give is to try to find some people who have # outgrown this stage of being totally a social construct and of being scared # by any contact. There's not too much you can do with "friends" like yours # except ignore them. Maybe I'm being too harsh on them, but your posting # sounded like they didn't even think they should be expected to be truthful # with you. That is not a friend. You should probably keep practicing your # social skills, but be careful not to use them too often--it's a very bad # habit to get into. And remember that anyone you meet, especially undergrads, # is probably putting up as much of a social mask as you are. Don't assume # friendship, because it's usually not there. If you want to make friends # worth having, just be yourself, and whoever you don't scare off is probably # a worthwhile friend. Be polite--for example, if you swear a lot or something, # try cutting that down--but don't put up a mask. YES! The veritable truth (how's THAT for redundancy?). A friend who is not truthful with me is not my friend. # But if you want to be popular... Gawd, I always wanted that in school, but I would have driven myself and my parents *nuts*! # Here are some of the more useful rules I've learned... if you practice these, # you should be able to be "socially correct" in most settings, although you're # probably less likely to gain any true friends from people you practice these # on. NOTE: From here on I understand that the rules are for those who wish to be socially correct, so my flames are only half-hearted. My first skim of this article told me something different than the re-reading did. I missed the fact that "this isn't for *real* people!". I had to reply, though... # Learn and obey the personal space rules. Watch other people, ask # a few of them, find out what is a violation of personal space--and don't # ever do it, even accidentally. Touching people, especially women, is a # violation. Offering backrubs, for example, is one of the scariest things # you can do, and even if they accept--and enjoy it--they will probably become # scared of you later. Oh, foo. Those aren't women, those are girls. Tell them their mamma's waiting for them. # Learn how to make smalltalk. Never talk about unpleasant subjects. # Sports are good, if you know enough about them (I don't.) Smalltalk? Isn't that a transfer protocol? # Learn how to close a conversation. Be very careful when walking # with people. If they think you're following them, they'll freak. Even if # you're in the middle of a sentence, if your paths split, don't walk with # them for a while more--even if you have nothing to do! I'm told you should # just slow down, and close off the conversation quickly. And leave something undone and unfinished? It leaves me feeling too funky inside. # Learn how to say "Hi, how's it going?" "Pretty good" "That's good". # The proper way is very bright and cheerful, with lots of inflection in your # voice. Don't say the words like they have any significance at all. I think # I actually get better results when I don't meet people's eyes while I'm # saying it. The best way to learn this is to watch other people. Also, don't # assume if someone says "Hi" that they want to talk. Just say "Hi" with a # very big smile, as though you're delighted to see them--but you don't care # about interacting with them. I know it's sick, but that's the way to do it. It seems to be. I actually exercise this rule quite a bit more than I would care to, but it's actually better than saying nothing at all... # With women, be very careful they don't feel threatened. Don't do # anything to make them think you might be hitting on them. Violating personal # space is often seen this way. Yep. It's funny; when you just want to be friends with a lady, it almost inevitably grows into something more (it has with me thrice now). If you want something more than friends, they will push you away. This is a rule that does really apply. Of course, there are different definitions of "hitting" on someone... it depends on the individual. # Don't be obviously trying to make friends. This could be why they # say you're too "clingy". It's OK to want to meet people, but not OK to want # to be friends with them. Friends are an invasion of personal space. Their loss. # This one is pretty important: Mute your emotions. I mentioned this # above too. Emotion is also an invasion of personal space, if it's too intense. # Whatever you do, don't be too intense. People find that very hard to deal # with. Just picture all your reactions painted in light pastel colors. Mine are painted in many colours, pastel, primary, day-glo, and all sorts of shades, energies... how do you paint those please-don't-hit-me-orange cones that you see on the highways using only pastel colours, and light ones at that?!? I am intense and proud of it, and while people do tend to shy away from me, I have the satisfaction of knowing that those friends who stay with me and those co-workers who can work comfortably with me on their team are worth every minute I have ever spent alone. # Don't offer too much help. I don't know if you do this, but I had # problems with it. If you offer help to someone you don't know, they'll # wonder what your game is. It won't occur to them that you might actually # like helping people... Too many people think like this for real, unfortunately, and it has led to the mortal wounding of common courtesy (q.v. Warm Fuzzy post by Gilly!). # Be careful even if you think you've gotten past the social mask. # It will be up again soon, and people will be very scared of you if you # cause them to remove it temporarily, or even if you see them without it. Gee, you mean we might see a *real person* under there somewhere? Oh, my, we can't have *that* now, can we? # The backrub thing is a good example. If you're giving a backrub to a # casual acquaintance, don't give a really good one--you might break down # the mask, and then when it comes up again they'll avoid you from then on. Casual acquaintances don't usually get close enough to be given backrubs. And if they do, there is something about that which leaves a special fleck of recognition between us. Nothing may come of it, but it generates another friendly face in the mural of my life... # Also, if someone is in a vulnerable position, such as being really tired or # upset, be careful how you pry. You might be able to get past the mask, and # that might feel like a good thing. But then the next day, they'll remember # that you can get past their mask, and they'll stay away from you. This # doesn't always happen--if someone is upset, they may be grateful for someone # to talk to--but don't always assume that getting past masks is a good thing. Again, their loss. # Keep your interactions on a superficial level. People don't like # having to think about social interactions. Don't expect anything important # to happen, and definitely don't try to make something important happen. # This point is closely tied to the next one. Real people do care. [ As mentioned above, these are all my own points of view for what they're worth, in case anyone has forgotten... ] Caring is one of the things which makes me feel alive. When I care and when someone else cares, it shows me that we are not just a bunch of auto- matons strolling about like zombies, though so many people die each day who never showed others how they have felt. What a waste. # Above all, don't do anything extraordinary. Don't do anything that a # "socially correct" person wouldn't do. It's very unnerving, because if you # do something unexpected they might be put in a situation that their social # mask can't handle. This is a disturbing prospect, and people will stay away # from you if they think you might do that to them. There are some areas where # you can get away with more than in others. For example, dressing wierd is # OK, at least at Stanford. It won't turn people off, because while it may be # unusual they know how to deal with it. But if you start to talk about a # serious subject, they don't know where the conversation might go, and so # they don't feel safe talking about it. Around here, no one talks about their # troubles, so doing that is extraordinary. If you'll tell strangers about # your problems, who knows what you might say??? Troubles are best not shared with someone you're uncomfortable with. By uncomfortable, I mean *deep down inside gut reaction uncomfortable*, not just unfamiliar. I trust my gut reactions. I have misjudged rarely, though it does happen often enough for me to admit to being...um...at least partly human...:-) # And last, don't be too quick to drop the rules. If you think you've # made a friend, fine... but if they became your friend while seeing this mask, # they'll probably freak if you drop it all at once. # Aw, but mundanes are so fun to freak out -- their eyes pop out, their faces vary from flushed to pale, they look around with this *really* nervous look on their faces, maybe horror in their eyes. 8-) # A couple of warnings on the above rules: They're only useful in certain # cases. In my experience, most undergrads follow them and expect you to too. I'd love to see these certain cases go away, but I guess they can't, else life would fall out of balance at this point. # But *don't* use them on your friends, and be *very* careful not to get so # used to them that you can't drop them entirely. The personal-space rules # are the ones I find the hardest to get rid of--I almost flinch when a woman # touches me at a party, because I know if I touch a woman at a party, even # accidentally, she'll probably get freaked. I am not happy about this at # all. If your mask isn't stuck on already, don't let it become that way. # You will find a few people who you don't need a mask for, and it's very # important to be able to take it off when you can. Yes, quite so. Your friends will often be the crux of a matter. # Also, I hear that when you get out into the real world they aren't used # nearly as much, so you'll probably want to drop most of them then. Well, I dunno...the *real world* has filled with an awful lot of unreal people as of late. As I stated above, some people just don't learn to overcome their insecurities. It shows in people I deal with from day to day. Not everybody meshes with everybody else. The fun part is that the unreal people expect a mask from me. The only mask I put on for them is one of complete disinterest, neutrality and apathy. I sincerely hope it bugs the fuck out of them. # # If anyone's gotten this far, I'd really appreciate comments on the rules-- # Do you think they're correct? Do you have any others to add? Do you # think they should ever be used? I think they're sadly correct. I think they should not have been created, let alone used. Another one to add? Hmmm... not offhand... # # >"I could go on, but I have too long ... # # If you think you went on too long... # # >TO FRIENDSHIP, MAY ALL OURS BE TRUE. # # Amen! And again. < KEEERASSSHHHH > { pitcher of Ice Water -- here's a fiver! :-) } Fortunately this group of net.people is the kind who are not harsh in judg- ment. I thank you for humouring my long-winded re-statement/criticisms. The people who have written directly to me have already shown themselves to be more than just "casual acquaintances". Show me some feeling, and I'll lock onto it like a heat-seeking missile onto a magnesium flare. Do me a favour, however small, and I shan't forget you did it for me. # # -- # Chris Phoenix | A harp is a nude piano. # cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU | "More input! More input!" # Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules. # Disclaimer: I want a kinder, gentler net with a thousand pints of lite. -- "Like leaves we touched, we danced; we once knew the story As Autumn called and we both remembered all those many years ago. I'm sure we know..." Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!samsung!uunet!shelby!csli!cphoenix From: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Interconnectedness Keywords: long-winded as usual Message-ID: <11333@csli.Stanford.EDU> Date: 8 Dec 89 06:28:51 GMT References: <11960@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> <12007@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> <11323@csli.Stanford.EDU> <6204@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu> Sender: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Reply-To: cphoenix@csli.stanford.edu (Chris Phoenix) Distribution: usa Organization: Center for the Study of Language and Information, Stanford U. Lines: 78 In article <6204@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu> ez000691@pollux (Shadow) writes: > "I say *NO*!!!" > Shadow has been fading steadily since the recitation began, and this >outburst is clearly an effort. Nevertheless, he manages to make himself heard. >He drifts over to the phoenix and focuses, with some difficulty. "What are you >*doing*?" he demands, in a whisper. I don't know. I'm not quite sure why I sent those in. Partially, to give people some insight into who I am, and what I've been learning this quarter. Partially, to give other people advice on how to "fit in". I realize now, seeing your post, that I shouldn't have done that. Let me say right away that I agree with you totally: These rules are *DANGEROUS*! There may be situations where you have to use them, but if you find yourself doing it on a regular basis, you should stop hanging out with those people. Part of it, maybe, was hoping people would realize how bad these are, and realize how true they are, and try to change things. Maybe some lurker out there will realize that he/she has been using them, and see just how sick the rules really are. I think I was hoping for a reaction like yours, too. I wrote them in a state of considerable bitterness, which has been forming since I started learning them. I don't know if they should ever be used or not. In some cases, I think they're necessary--but I don't know if it's worth playing with them. > "No one knows about these masks better than I. Well, perhaps that's >not strictly true, but I've had enough experience. I built mine when I was >only four, and kept it firmly on for more than fifteen years. That is truly a scary thought, starting a mask at 4. You have my heartfelt sympathy. >You may have missed one or two," he hisses, "such as: ... I thought I missed a few, but I knew as soon as I read yours that they were the ones I was looking for. > "The problem, as you mention, is that masks are addictive. After a >while, it becomes too easy, almost. Before you realize it, you can't get it >off, even if you wanted to. Yes! Let me agree with you one more time... these masks and rules are dangerous. Everyone out there: Next time you're "socializing" in your dorm, at your work, at a party or bar, step back and look at yourself. If you recognize yourself in our lists, start prying the mask off while you still can. Because it will not make you happy. I didn't start consciously building my mask until less than three months ago. I didn't have any social interaction before three years ago. But in that short time, I discovered that I couldn't take my mask off when I wanted to. >His eyes are burning, and his form trembles. "After the mask becomes second >nature to you, you forget you're wearing it! You forget there are other ways >to act! You never find anyone to remove it for, in any case!!" > He spins to address the room at large. "Shall I tell you what this mask >is? It's a vicious trap, nothing more. It doesn't just protect; it *smothers*. >It insulates so well that you become absolutely incapable of seeing anything >in the world around you but mask and more masks, obscuring, hiding. No more >people, but only *personae*!..." I'm just quoting this so that people will read it again... >"I'm sorry," he says, much subdued. "I know I'm over-reacting. You didn't mean >any of that, of course. Someone needed to know how to interact without >scaring people, and that's the best way. Of course. No, you're not overreacting. I did mean some of that. Even when I knew how stupid they are, I was advising someone else to use them. That's not the entire reason I posted them, but it's part of it. If you need to interact without scaring people, 1) Think about how much you really need to interact with them. Try to find other people instead. 2) Go to 1. 3) Use the rules. -- Chris Phoenix | A harp is a nude piano. cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU | "More input! More input!" Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules. Disclaimer: I want a kinder, gentler net with a thousand pints of lite. Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!brutus.cs.uiuc.edu!psuvax1!psuvm!tag2 From: TAG2@PSUVM.BITNET Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: A toast/introduction Message-ID: <89342.101125TAG2@PSUVM.BITNET> Date: 8 Dec 89 15:11:25 GMT Organization: Penn State University Lines: 54 A tall,thin figure rises from his place in the shadows. He moves to the bar, slips a dollar onto the counter and says to Tom in a deep bass voice,"Fruit wine, please". He sips the drink while listening to other's toasts, his face showing little emotion except for his eyes, which close with sadness for a moment when he hears of the sorrows and hardships in other's lives. Finally, he rises and walks slowly to the line. Finishing the last dregs of his wine, he turns to address the room. "Good eventide,all. My name, for the present time at least, is Deepvoice. I have heard many of your stories from my place in the shadows, and something in me bid me rise and speak tonight. I wish to toast the years past and the years to come. This past decade has seen many things come and go, some good and some evil. This is the Way of our world, as close as I can tell. Throughout it all, I find myself marvelling at humanity's ability to persevere and overcome many barriers, even the ones which it places in front of itself. From this preseverence, if nothing else, I have hope for the coming years. I pray that through our individual actions we can bring more brightness into our own lives, and thus to the entire world." After a short wind-up, he casts his glass into the flames,shouting: "To your health and happiness in the coming years! May we all realize our dreams, or become satisfied within our efforts!" He then visibly relaxes, and pulls out a large stone which seems to be shrinking slowly. He shakes his head and smiles to himself, and is heard to murmur "Drats. Too much philosophizing that time. Oh,well...".He puts the stone back in his cloak pocket, and orders a hot chocolate. Stirring the marshmallows slowly with a spoon from a handy Swiss knife, he sighs and slips into a long chair, contemplating the flames as the night grows longer... For any who feel personal stats to be in bad taste, the rest of the posting can be skipped. Otherwise... Name: Tom Gryn Age : 19 (for about three weeks more, anyway.) Height : 5'10" Weight: 140 lbs Hair: Brown Eyes: Blue, usually behind heavy bifocal glasses Fav. foods: Tuna fish sandwiches, fruit of all kinds, and, yes, pizza... Fav. TV shows: Wiseguy, Blakes 7, Cheers, and various sports broadcasts. Music: Eclectic. Most listened to groups are probably Toto, Def Leppard, George Winston, and Chris de Burgh. Plus some filk, when I need inspiration... Hobbies: Hmmm, difficult to decide. Reading, listening to music, learning to play the guitar, singing, rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles, studying light philosophy, and a General Searching for the Meaning of Life seem to be my off-time activities right now. College: Penn State University, at Ogontz. Major: Undecided. Location : Abington, PA (a few miles outside of Philadelphia) Whew! Tom..................tag2@PSUVM "Yes,yes,yes.....but it WORKS!" Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!gem.mps.ohio-state.edu!lavaca.uh.edu!elroy!cosc5sh From: cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu (Unbeliever) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: The Unbeliever's Tale Message-ID: <5161.257f9900@elroy.uh.edu> Date: 8 Dec 89 17:20:32 GMT Organization: The Land Lines: 90 The Doctor, bless his kind soul, is far too powerful and perfect to express bitterness or pain, and thus he won't be making an appearance in this posting (he will return to his role as general bringer of good cheer another time). Allow me to introduce my "true" persona... I am known as the Unbeliever. You may accept my handle on almost any level and it will likely be an accurate description of my personality. Another Unbeliever was briefly seen in Callahan's; he has since chosen an alternate handle (thank you). I took my name from Stephen Donaldson's first and second _Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, Unbeliever_. People either love or hate this series; there is no in-between. Those who hate it point to Covenant's inherent bitterness (he is a leper), and view his actions with disgust. But the books have another message to offer -- they tell of a place of unparallelled beauty, and show the reactions to it of a man who had everything and lost it all through no fault of his own. He is bitter; he hates this place that common sense says can't be real, and his own vulnerability to it. But he comes to terms with The Land, and defends it in the end from those who would destroy it. Alas, The Land isn't real. Lepers DON'T heal; people DON'T forgive any harm done. Truth and beauty are hidden by the cold, grey reality that cheaters usually prosper, and that good guys finish last. I am a Thomas Covenant of the real world. My disease is that I'm a social leper. Other regulars have spoken of their need to find their soulmates; I'm an undergrad senior who hasn't even had his first girlfriend yet. Living in the dorms, I see the other, "healthy" people, constantly. But I can never join them; they would never let me. Oh, they will acknowledge my existance after a fashion. But I never come in from the "outside". Males have nothing to speak to me about (since I care nothing for sports), and females are always "attached" somehow, or only see me as "just a friend". Except they're uncomfortable with me around, so they make sure to only be around me when there's lots of others wandering about, and a private chat is impossible. Yes, I am very bitter. As I type this, my two roommates are asleep in their beds -- with a girl by each one's side. One of my two roommates has a "real" girlfriend (read: fiancee), and the other is gay. Needless to say, this does wonders for my ego. I am not an overpowering figure. I'm a 5'10" computer science major who has strenuously avoided anything that remotely resembles exercise. While I'm not fat, neither am I the svelte god that girls seem to flock around. They claim appearance is unimportant next to personality -- and then chase after the first football player they see. I long for The Land. I long for a place where I can let my guard down and find Peace. A place where the women look at you with interest; as though you were MORE than they had hoped for, not less. Ah, to have a sense of self-worth again. I have tried to avoid the masks that Phoenix has spoken of. Perhaps my problem is that the girls all still have their masks on, and avoid me because I don't and they can't deal with that. Or maybe I'm wearing a mask I can't see, and frightening off the maskless women around me. I can't tell. I have talked to some of my female "friends" about this problem to the point where they're tired of listening, but none of them have much of a solution to offer. "Go to more dances, and social events", they say. Yippee. Am I setting my "standards" too high? Am I looking for a soulmate while thinking I'm just looking for a girlfriend? I don't THINK so. "Setting standards too high" implies to me that I'm overlooking some women intentionally; and if I'm doing that, I certainly haven't noticed. I came up with a theory the other day -- all one needs to do to find a girlfriend is to arrange your life so that you're happy without one. Murphy's Law then handles the rest. Needlessly bitter, but that expresses my mood rather well right now. Oh well... Thanks for listening. I think I'll maintain both personas in Calahan's for the time being. Thomas Covenant will continue trying to get in touch with his (my) feelings, and the Doctor shall continue attempting to bring others good cheer. And no, I >>WON'T<< attempt to have the Doctor cheer up the Unbeliever. I'm not quite THAT schizophrenic yet! ;) Enough for now... You see the speaker withdraw a ring from his pocket, and place it on his finger. He is instantly transformed. His clothing is tattered, his face wears a wild, prophetic expression. His hair and week-old beard look ragged. He holds a staff of uncarved wood in his left hand, and the ring on the "middle" finger of his half-hand glows whitely. "I am the Thomas Covenant. The Unbeliever." he says. Mike the bartender hands him a large drink and says, "Drink up. On the house." Covenant grimaces, and takes a swallow. "Diamondraught!" he exclaims. Mike winks, and two or three swallows later, the Unbeliever falls to sleep against the bar nearest the wall. He even smiles a little. +--------------------------------+-----------------+--------------------------+ | Handle: Unbeliever | Empty |"In the immortal words of | |Internet: cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu | Space | Socrates, who said, 'I | | Bitnet: cosc5sh@elroy +-----------------+ drank what?!?'" | | UUCP: ...texbell!uhnix1!elroy.uh.edu!cosc5sh | -- Real Genius | +--------------------------------------------------+--------------------------+ Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!apple!brutus.cs.uiuc.edu!samsung!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!shelby!csli!cphoenix From: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: The Unbeliever's Tale Message-ID: <11343@csli.Stanford.EDU> Date: 8 Dec 89 19:43:46 GMT References: <5161.257f9900@elroy.uh.edu> Sender: cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU (Chris Phoenix) Reply-To: cphoenix@csli.stanford.edu (Chris Phoenix) Organization: Center for the Study of Language and Information, Stanford U. Lines: 69 In article <5161.257f9900@elroy.uh.edu> cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu (Unbeliever) writes: >the "outside". Males have nothing to speak to me about (since I care nothing >for sports), and females are always "attached" somehow, or only see me as "just >a friend". Except they're uncomfortable with me around, so they make sure to >only be around me when there's lots of others wandering about, and a private >chat is impossible. Another one of us... Women, can we hear some of your ideas? Surely most of you have run into men like us before... What do you think of us? How can we be less scary? Why are we scary, anyway? >I long for The Land. I long for a place where I can let my guard down and find >Peace. A place where the women look at you with interest; as though you were >MORE than they had hoped for, not less. Ah, to have a sense of self-worth >again. I know exactly how you feel. These people aren't giving you the respect you (and all of us) deserve. They probably never will--so, find some other people. Now that I have, it's amazing how much less rejection affects me. I still get angry when some girl turns aside when I say "hi" as though I'm actually being friendly, but it doesn't wound me like it used to. >I have tried to avoid the masks that Phoenix has spoken of. Perhaps my problem >is that the girls all still have their masks on, and avoid me because I don't >and they can't deal with that. Or maybe I'm wearing a mask I can't see, and >frightening off the maskless women around me. I can't tell. I think you were right the first time. There aren't that many maskless women around, especially among undergrads. And if someone is strong enough to be maskless in that environment, they certainly won't be frightened of someone for no good reason... >I have talked to >some of my female "friends" about this problem to the point where they're >tired of listening, but none of them have much of a solution to offer. "Go to >more dances, and social events", they say. Yippee. Bad advice. Dances and social events involve the same people, and they're more likely to have their masks on there than anywhere else, and also more likely to be suspicious and untrusting. In general, talking to your peers isn't a good idea, because most of them will be looking at it like a popularity contest, and they'll just tell you how to build up your mask better and get along with other people's masks. >I came up with a theory the other day -- all one needs to do to find a >girlfriend is to arrange your life so that you're happy without one. >Murphy's Law then handles the rest. Needlessly bitter, but that expresses my >mood rather well right now. I've heard this from several other people. It's not just a theory. Remember that if girls think you're looking for a relationship, they'll freak. When you're not, then you're a safer person to get to know, and then they're more likely to know you well enough to like you. A corrollary is that once you actually have a girlfriend, other girls will flock around you. Don't give up hope. Just try to find other people to be friends with. Join something totally outside of school, like a hiking club, or the SCA, or something. Something else I just thought of: If you're religious, or even if you're not, try joining one of the campus religious groups. People there tend to be a lot more open, less afraid of other people, and more willing to overcome their fear and their masks. Good luck... -- Chris Phoenix | A harp is a nude piano. cphoenix@csli.Stanford.EDU | "More input! More input!" Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules. Disclaimer: I want a kinder, gentler net with a thousand pints of lite. Path: mit-eddie!wuarchive!uunet!mcsun!sunic!tut!ousrvr!news From: so-luru@stekt.oulu.fi (Ari Husa OH8NUP) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: .. a short incident.. Message-ID: Date: 8 Dec 89 19:26:55 GMT Sender: news@ousrvr.oulu.fi Distribution: alt Organization: United Lusers Against SO Prefix Lines: 33 Back in the dark corner of the tavern, a stranger suddenly rises. He doesn't look familiar to anybody, nor does anybody greet him. A glass is his hand shakes a little, being half full of port, while he lifts it up, as to greet the other people now starting to look at him. The move is not thoroughly executed, though, but rather abruptly stopped, and the glass is put back on the table. Still standing up, the stranger opens his mouth.. one can almost hear the unspoken words he sswallows back. Looking shy, ashamed and puzzled, he sits down again, grabs his port and starts finishing up it quickly. He is young, in fact he almost looks like a kid. It would be impossible to guess his age, though. You know, the type that still must look like thirty on his fiftieth birtday . He is rather heavily built, and it makes a sharp contrast with his young face and short, strawberry blond hair, which looks like it had never seen a comb or a hair. Somehow you get the feeling he's seen a lot, in spite of his looks. The glass is empty. The young man gets up, puts his hat on, and walks to the door. To the bartender he says: "A friend of mine recommended the place.. I am new here" - and looks back to the people, who seemingly don't pay any attention to him, as to expect an unspoken goodbye. "Good day. I might be back", he mutters and leaves, wondering if this really would be place for warmth and frienship, and whether he ever actually dares to come back. The people sitting at the table closest to the door can hear his deep sigh while he closes the door behind him. The life goes on as usual. Luru Path: mit-eddie!mit-amt!snorkelwacker!usc!wuarchive!uunet!microsoft!t-phils From: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Soulmates and exiles Message-ID: <9379@microsoft.UUCP> Date: 8 Dec 89 18:50:28 GMT References: <43561@bu-cs.BU.EDU> <9306@microsoft.UUCP> Reply-To: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA Lines: 38 Jeffrey Young writes: | | "We are but souls drifting in the void: it is inevitable that some | of us wil eventually run into each other." | | --a quote by an author whose name slips my mind... Wouldn't have been Richard Bach, by any chance? | "In my case, I might be in trouble. I would sacrifice myself for | someone who truly needed me, rather than see her suffer where I could | not help. Those whom I hold while they cry, however, I hold myself | away from, asking nothing in return for the comfort I give." "That is the sign of true nobility... but what would one expect from a Unicorn?" | "Perhaps some of you don't believe in soulmates.. I do.." "I could almost envy you your faith, then." Alaric's voice is almost emotionless, his eyes hard and remote. No expression shows on his face. "I long ago ceased to believe in the existence of soulmates... or at the least, in the existence of a soulmate for myself. To have a soulmate, I would say that it is first necessary to have a soul - and that I question...." | "You are blue, Unicorn.. the Blue of clear, cloudless days where | everything seems like it's going right and nothing could go wrong.. | and the Blue of despair and lonliness." "The hottest, purest flame is blue... and so is the coldest ice." -- _______________________________________________________________________ | Phil Stracchino : t-phils@microsoft.UUCP; uunet!microsoft!t-phils | |-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | `What about me, it isn't fair / I've had enough, now I want my share | | Can't you see, I want to live...' - Moving Pictures | | `What would touch you deeper, tears that fall from eyes that only cry | | Would it touch you deeper than eyes that know why...' - Rush | | `If life was simple, everyone would be good at it.' | | - The Eternal Stranger | |_______________________________________________________________________| Path: mit-eddie!bu-cs!austin From: austin@bucsf.bu.edu (Austin Ziegler) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Callahan's on IRC -- PUNS! Message-ID: <44199@bu-cs.BU.EDU> Date: 8 Dec 89 20:43:52 GMT Sender: daemon@bu-cs.BU.EDU Distribution: alt Organization: Boston University College of Engineering Lines: 549 Greetings one and all! i am happy to say that IRC *does* work for the Callahan's medium, although it is very different, being real-time. On IRC, I am Magyk as well, and stadnism is Omaha. What is below is part of a transcript of an IRC session in which someone asked me to come up with a topic for puns so we could hone our skills for Punday Night. I happened to choose computers, and while the best ones--the ones in the beginning--were lost because the save buffer is limited to 21K, the ones that are here should be sufficient to make you groan. These required a lot more thought, and we still managed to get in more than one pun per line in some cases. I don't remember the time range, but it was an interesting setup while we did that. Identities: Omaha and Magyk are stadnism and I, respectively, while GEM is a student at MIT who just found IRC, but has not found alt.callahans yet. We'll give him the little push to come here, but nothing is guaranteed. We did have a few people appear and disappear on the channel, but, well... I've done too much introduction already. Enjoy the puns! Subject: Computers. Elapsed Time: approximately 1.5 hours -> From GEM to 9: - Magyk: too bad they go BLT when you open them -> From Kaizzu to 9: - Magyk: weren't these supposed to br _computer_ puns? or rather-- GOTO 20: CONTINUE 'puns (message sent to 9) -> From Jesus to 9: - banshee: if they do they're not using it . I don't see anyone with all - capss! - Magyk: Have u driven a ford lately?? nope (message sent to 9) /j 20 You have left channel 9. You are now a member of channel 20. 20 2 Callahan's punfest continues... 9 11 Callahan's Place [virtual] -> From banshee to 20: - what is the procedure ForPuns (magyk, badpun, response); Ah...the DIP-Switchers were getting annoying. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - Nice SUNny day banshee: i don't think there is a function (message sent to banshee) -> From Omaha to 20: - banshee: well, if you want to get Symbolic about it... OOPS (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - who has the Intel >> (14:31) Private message from banshee: - well if that be the case OfQuit do -> From GEM to 20: - to keep this up? -> From GEM to 20: - LMI see now, Omaha -> From Omaha to 20: - I don't know... how many puns are we up to, now? 8088? -> From GEM to 20: - Omaha: maybe 6502 I think it is closer to 68040. (message sent to 20) shall we take some RISCs? (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - Well, I only Z-80. -> From Omaha to 20: - Why not, be DIRing. -> From GEM to 20: - I will have to Motorola from here soon Well, I know that some people have PET peeves about this type of thing. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - these computer puns take much more RT in realtime -> From Omaha to 20: - GEM: why leaf? It's so much better here, with just the tree of us... shall we GREP a few other people? (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - Omaha: if I don't get real work done, there'll binaryse for me -> From Omaha to 20: - sure, but who wants to search them out? it shouldn't be too hard to link up with a list of them... (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - Who has the Connections? I'm Thinking that I don't -> From GEM to 20: - although we could maybe VAX them an invite -> From Omaha to 20: - Well, we'll consult an Oracle and find out who to PIC... shall we Paint our way through? (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - although, if you ask me, these puns are getting to be a pain in the OS. -> From GEM to 20: - Lotus see now... -> From Omaha to 20: - how bout ASCIIng them? shall we compress these? (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - but I don't zCat here... hi virus...computer puns. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - we could try just ASCIIng them... -> From Virus to 20: - Hi Ah...don't be an EBCDIC (-8 (-8 (message sent to 20) -> From Virus to 20: - hi Magyk -> From GEM to 20: - Virus: beware: virtually all the easy puns are gone -> From Omaha to 20: - who me? I'm just a hack, nothing moria... -> From Virus to 20: - ok -> From GEM to 20: - Magyk: Omaha won't larn, he can be a CAD -> From Omaha to 20: - 'lo Virus... we need to hunt them down...where they wander (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - I try to be a Rogue, though it is an Adventure sometimes -> From Virus to 20: - 'lo Omaha -> From Omaha to 20: - a bit of a rogue at times, maybe, but a CAD? if nothing else, we need to conquer them and make an Empire. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - shall we Trek them down, Magyk? i think they might turn on us with a Tank. (message sent to 20) we could send some Robots. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - what, and turn the net into a Battlezone? say---are we in a Vacuum? (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - Omaha: what can I do to patch up my faux pas? -> From GEM to 20: - Omaha: go to the Wall for you? oh, yes...virus---GEM was wrong...he said all the easy one are gone....well all the ENIAC ones are gone. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - GEM: well, you could just try talking... i'll CAT it to the screen first. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - Omaha: these quotes are real perls of great price SOH, whats up? (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - ACK, hardware stuff eiffel one, think this is in need of a handshake. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - a hex on that! -> From Omaha to 20: - awk... rotten to the core. do these COMPare to anything? (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - yacc, yacc, yacc... that's GNUS to me! (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - quite a lex-icon we have here -> From Omaha to 20: - well, guys, I hate to interrupt... do we have a TeX around here? (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - Magyk: I don't think so. I thought you were the local font of wisdom... he might be able to function a bit faster (message sent to 20) the SYStem is better, though. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - Virus: you still there, or did you runoff is this a CON or is it NUL and (void *)? (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - JZ, some of these puns are bad... Virus--we are PROCOMM. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - You know, I don't think we're following protocol... Virus--are you going to need a NET? (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - what's the standard for these things? Don't want it getting too graphic... -> From Omaha to 20: - We might be shutdown. -> From GEM to 20: - inode I should have never gotten into this is there a PostScript to this? (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - Omaha: someone might send GUIdo the killer IMP after us -> From Omaha to 20: - just to beware violating the public mores... we should chmod this. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - nah, we'll just sic the links on him... -> From GEM to 20: - Omaha: you sync so? -> From Omaha to 20: - why, don't you have permission from your parent processes? i think you guys are elizaing to me. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - AI- not that! somebody call a doctor hanoi! you RMed that one from my grasp! (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - GEM: don't be concerned with Magyk... he's just a good Racter. -> From Omaha to 20: - I'll return... my system calls... -> From GEM to 20: - Good, so he is Ritchie enough to afford help raster, i'd say i'm a bit hurtz -- i don't have a Job. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - some of this is really vi-le naw...i'd say the words are Perfect. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - gotta swap out for a moment - party calls *** jsol has joined channel 20 *** -> From jsol to 20: - hi. is this the punster c hannel? -> From Omaha to 20: - there... I'm back. Had to take a dump (I was overflowing), and didn't want - to leave a mess for the garbage collector... yes, jsol...most of them are rather gone now... (message sent to 20) or, shall i say, we've processed most of them. (message sent to 20) say -- you all have scratch monkeys, don't you... (-8 (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - Magyk: no, there are still SUB left. -> From Omaha to 20: - (sorry, but like I said before, I've got a head code) -> From Omaha to 20: - 'lo jsol. We've taken them by the Mandlebrot. (message sent to 20) i think that we have successfully interfaced, however. (message sent to 20) these need to be PRINTed. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - 'salright. but you've relay got to be CARful about staying on topic... i'll take the BUS. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - why? Don't trust the flow(chart)? nah...less shocks. (message sent to 20) are we going to EXTend this? (message sent to 20) or is it the right PATH? (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - I don't care... I'm willing to kill it... i'm not sure the Environment suits this well enough. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - a pointer - try being CONStructive i'm getting ANSI... (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - yes, I've returned from the bg -> From Omaha to 20: - oh good... you're in realtime again. I'd say we either NOT continue this AND suffer OR not suffer. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - I detect a trace of apathy in your voice... ray to quit? -> From GEM to 20: - the Markov a real punster is knowing when to stop? yes...i think that the spool is running out. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - Yep... knowing when to keep a conversation floating, and when it's come to a - fixed point. and i'd rather STOP before I make a stderr. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - sheesh... what a bunch of HAMs... as long as we try to EGA it on, it'll keep - going... -> From GEM to 20: - probably meta if we escape before we lose control and shift to repeats i think you are more of a card. (-8 (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - so this is the end? -> From GEM to 20: - I'll Hollerith I 'm done -> From GEM to 20: - or maybe I'll just Steele away i don't modem. it is MORE or LESS DIFFicult to _creat good puns. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - good idea, but tell us the Knuth, will you? Kernighan, there are some good ones left. (message sent to 20) *** om has joined channel 20 *** -> From om to 20: - howdy >> (15:12) Private message from GEM: - Brat! I was trying to do that! GEM: you mean kernighan? well...i got it in first... (-8 (message sent to GEM) >> (15:13) Private message from GEM: - yes, but I've been trying since I got Ritchie in... :-( GEM: well... (-8 (message sent to GEM) -> From Omaha to 20: - well, I'm gonna trie and quit, beFOR I run out... -> From Omaha to 20: - 'lo om. -> From GEM to 20: - I may have to use the wc soon LET it be (message sent to 20) we could BEND it further than it will go. (message sent to 20) -> From om to 20: - quite a silent channel silent? anything but, om. (message sent to 20) -> From GEM to 20: - om: maybe even a microchannel, but for the puns -> From Omaha to 20: - yeah... I don't see anyone queueing up to get in... ohm, it is quite EISA to make that mistake... (message sent to 20) we've almost HASHed them all out. (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - yeah, but it was quite a stack... if we aren't careful, well pop because someone pushed too hard. (message sent to 20) -> From om to 20: - Well, but in the net it was just impossible to reach every node *** matthew has joined channel 20 *** -> From Omaha to 20: - 'lo matthew... -> From om to 20: - Maybe my algorithm wasn't suitable -> From om to 20: - himatthew -> From Omaha to 20: - We're about punned out. Got any to ADD? We'll let you carry the thread for - a while... -> From om to 20: - to the queue -> From matthew to 20: - hi punsters... i'm definitely punned out....let's CALL it quits then. and don't JMP too far! (message sent to 20) cul8r all... (-8 it has been inCMPrable... (-8 (message sent to 20) -> From Omaha to 20: - Ciao, Magyk. Join us on IRC and have fun! Magyk (austin@bucsf.bu.edu,@bucsb.bu.edu,engc8vc@buacca.bu.edu) 700 Commonwealth Box 2094, Boston, MA 02215 "Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries!" --Monty Python and the Holy Grail Path: mit-eddie!bu-cs!austin From: austin@bucsf.bu.edu (Austin Ziegler) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Masks Message-ID: <44204@bu-cs.BU.EDU> Date: 8 Dec 89 21:39:02 GMT Sender: daemon@bu-cs.BU.EDU Distribution: alt Organization: Boston University College of Engineering Lines: 65 Keywords: Masks are nothing but illusions. Summary: Illusions are nothing but lies. Magyk stands after several have spoken: Taldin, Subrata, the Shadow, GreyWolf, the Phoenix, and even Thomas Covenant. "My friends, I have heard all you have to say about masks, and while I do not deny that they exist, I deny that I use them for any reason whatsoever. Before you interject that I, Magyk, am a mask for Austin, let me explain to you briefly who Magyk is in relation to Austin. "Magyk is a superset of Austin. He is Austin and everything Austin would like to be. He is a mouth through which Austin can speak because the third person is far easier to write. But behind Magyk is a very strong personality called Austin. There, in truth, *is* no Magyk beyond alt.callahans and, to a minor point, IRC. "I, like Taldin, am quite comfortable with revealing myself to people. I however, feel I have *nothing to hide*. I will not use a mask because I know the ultimate consequences of using such a 'tool.' I have never found the need for a mask. If a person does not like the Austin that they see, then they have a problem. I treat it like that because it is not my duty to please everyone...or necessarily anyone but myself. "I do not consider myself self-centered, but I will not conform to the heirarchy if it goes against what I believe. I find that I get along with most people, and most people find me, at the very minimum, tolerable. Further, I tend to break the masks of others more often and more successfully, I believe. I have no idea what is the cause of that, nor how one could emulate that, but I do know that it seems to me that *most* people want to get out of their masks, but don't want to be the first to do so, because they are not sure who will stay protected and attack the unprotected. "I guess what I'm trying to say here is that if at all possible, don't even consider the mask at all. I have not been the most socially successful person in the world, but I do find that I've had better friends because I've presented the real me every time. "It is that honesty which scares some people away, but once a person gets to know me, they tend to respect me for that honesty, and also tend to open up a little bit more around me because they *know* I can be trusted. "The pain will be greater initially, and it probably won't help a romantic life at all (it has not helped mine yet) but I have made some really good friends by just presenting myself, and being there when people needed me." Magyk sits down again. He puts a dollar bill in his hand and it teleports over into Mike's waiting hand. Mike puts a glass of sparkling white grape juice on the bar, and it flashes over to Magyk's hand. "You know, people do know how stupid these rules are. In fact, most of them really *do* want to remove the masks, but they either do not know how to remove them, or they want to see someone who has successfully removed the mask and get help from that person," he quaffs the grapejuice. "To friendship. *REAL* friendship, where a person can cry on a friends shoulder. And to those people in need of help, God give us the strength to go out and help them." He disappears from his chair and reappears standing at the line. He throws the glass into the fireplace. Just before it hits the fireplace, it turns into a white dove and flies out a window, into the winter night. On the fireplace, a wreath appears, and various other Christmas decorations appear all over the Place. Ponsettias on every table, and even a few sprigs of mistletoe. Fast Eddie's piano starts playing some Christmas tunes, and Fast Eddie very quickly catches up. Magyk feels many eyes on him but he looks quite bewildered. "It's not my doing..." Magyk (austin@bucsf.bu.edu,@bucsb.bu.edu,engc8vc@buacca.bu.edu) 700 Commonwealth Box 2094, Boston, MA 02215 "Hark how the bells/sweet silver bells/all seem to say/throw cares away/Christmas is here/bringing good cheer/Merry, merry, merry Christmas." --Hark how the bells, attribution unknown (please fill me in)