Path: mit-eddie!mit-amt!snorkelwacker!think!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!wuarchive!decwrl!orc!mipos3!omepd!pzbaum!reed!littlei!percy!parsely!bucket!leonard From: leonard@bucket.UUCP (Leonard Erickson) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: end of growing up Message-ID: <1853@bucket.UUCP> Date: 26 Dec 89 09:44:34 GMT References: <6301@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu> <125990001@hpcndm.CND.HP.COM> Organization: Rick's Home-Grown UNIX; Portland, OR. Lines: 51 jason@hpcndm.CND.HP.COM (Jason Zions) writes: >I guess I'd beg you to think about that; consider talking to someone with >some training, some knowledge, some understanding. That you'd consider >giving that person some time, time to talk with you, time to help you >explore some options you might not think you had. Unfortunately, as I can state from personal experience this may not be a "possible" alternative. By "possible" I mean that if the main problem is something like an impossible home life, you may have no reason to believe that talking to a shrink/school counselor/whatever will help. If you've had your trust in your *parents* (or in my case, parent) systematicly destroyed, you aren't too likely to be able to trust anyone enough to confide in them about your problems. All your experience says that the first thing they'd do is try to talk to your parent(s) about the problem, and you *know* what that would mean. (you may be wrong, as I was but that doesn't change the fact the you *know* this to be "true") If I'd only known I could have likely gotten out somehow... I found a solution of sorts. I "discussed" my problems *as if* I had someone to talk to. You won't get innovative solutions this way, but if you are *honest*, you'll at least be clear as to what the situation is. I agree that it'd be best to talk to a "professional", but I realize that that may feel like risking everything for only a small chance of aid. It's sad. I have some idea of how most people feel about their families. But I have no idea how it *feels*. I haven't seen my brother in 15 years and likely never will again. I've seen my mother maybe 4 times in that time. I've even taken a few trips back home. But it's been at least 5 years since the last time, and I really doubt that I'll see her again before she dies (she's 80). At Christmas time and around her birthday I sometimes try to remember to send a card, but I rarely do. I feel a bit guilty about it, but that's all. Just a twinge. From the last visit I realize that we just don't have anything in common. The fact that she's 46 years older than I am certainly didn't help. And as may be obvious from some of the above, things were not too great before I left home. Things weren't sort of hell that some people have gone thru I wasn't physically abused. But all I know is what I went thru. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone either. Those of you with families that care, treasure them. The rest of you, try to find someone to talk to about it. Maybe it isn't as bad as it seems. On the other hand, if they agree, try to get help. I know that I didn't know that I could have gotten help until it was too late to matter. If any of you are in such a situation, I pray that you get help in time. -- Leonard Erickson ...!tektronix!reed!percival!bucket!leonard CIS: [70465,203] "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." -- Solomon Short Path: mit-eddie!mit-amt!snorkelwacker!think!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!wuarchive!decwrl!orc!mipos3!omepd!pzbaum!reed!littlei!percy!parsely!bucket!leonard From: leonard@bucket.UUCP (Leonard Erickson) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Greetings fellow Sensitives Message-ID: <1854@bucket.UUCP> Date: 26 Dec 89 09:53:11 GMT References: <1989Dec19.192010.3800@sun.soe.clarkson.edu> <45006@bu-cs.BU.EDU> <235@sixhub.UUCP> Organization: Rick's Home-Grown UNIX; Portland, OR. Lines: 17 davidsen@sixhub.UUCP (Wm E. Davidsen Jr) writes: corum@bucsf.bu.edu (Gilbert Loomis) writes: <| > I don't know if anyone has thought of it, but someone should write to <| > Spider and let him know about [the Place]... maybe he can come up with <| > a way to join... < There are lot's of us out here... but where is Spider? Canada? As of last report, Spider is living in British Columbia. (as of a month or two back). I forget whether he is living in Vancouver or Victoria. -- Leonard Erickson ...!tektronix!reed!percival!bucket!leonard CIS: [70465,203] "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." -- Solomon Short Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!samsung!uunet!microsoft!t-phils From: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Logic? Message-ID: <10076@microsoft.UUCP> Date: 27 Dec 89 18:48:59 GMT References: <20940019@hplred.HP.COM> Reply-To: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA Lines: 19 Diana Egly writes: >Someday I'll have to tell the story of a friend of mine who killed >herself during the happiest part of her life. She chose to kill herself >because she knew that joy could not last forever -- and she did not >want to go through another valley. Not ever. Alaric looks at Diana with haunted eyes. "To take one's own life is a terrible thing," he says, "even in the pit of despair; but sometimes, there seems no other option that makes sense. When dying in pain of an incurable disease, for instance, then it is understandable. But to take one's own life in the midst of happiness? To lose the greatest happiness of one's life for fear that it might end?" His voice catches in his throat, and he stops for a moment. When he continues, brightness glints in the corners of his eyes. "I have heard some sad tales in my time, but none more sad than this... I weep for your friend, Diana, and I pray that she has at least found peace." He looks down and stares into his half-empty glass as though seeking some wisdom or insight within the liquid, looking suddenly older. Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!usc!samsung!uunet!microsoft!t-phils From: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Suicide (was Re: end of growing up) Message-ID: <10078@microsoft.UUCP> Date: 27 Dec 89 20:46:55 GMT References: <10291@pucc.Princeton.EDU> <20940017@hplred.HP.COM> <7396@pt.cs.cmu.edu> <11530@csli.Stanford.EDU> Reply-To: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA Lines: 41 Chris Phoenix writes: | Monica Cellio writes: | >... try to step back from the | >situation and consider the long term implications. No one knows if we get | >another chance, so I'd hang on until I was *sure* it was going to get worse | >rather than better. | | There may be cases where suicide is the best option. At the moment I can't | think of any other than painful drawn-out terminal illness, or threat of | extreme torture. | Even if things never will get better, there is *NO WAY* | to know this! Especially not when you are already convinced that life | sucks. There is a great deal of truth in this. I agree, sometimes you may feel you have no choices left but suicide... remember, though, that although you may feel that by choosing to die you are choosing not to lose anything more than you already have, you may not lose any more anyway. The one thing you are absolutely guaranteeing is that you will never again gain anything - that you will never win. To give up is to lose everything you have ever had or ever will have, for fear that you might lose another thing that you have at the moment. Sometimes, suicide is an option. I knew someone once who committed suicide to cut short the last months of terminal, inoperable cancer. I heard of another individual who, pinned in a burning car, unable to get out and too far from help for any aid to possibly arrive in time, shot himself rather than burn to death. These are unusual cases, though. Despair, loss or loneliness can make suicide very tempting - but the one thing it ensures is that things will never have a chance to get better. The man who commits suicide out of despair after the woman he loves leaves him, has no way of knowing that on the very next day, he might have found a new love that would transform his life. He has, however, ensured that now, it will never happen. -- For a few more days, still t-phils@microsoft.UUCP `Mid dreams that die and things that end, I ask but thee, eternal friend. One lantern in the vasty dark, One stable soul, my way to mark. - Jilara Path: mit-eddie!wuarchive!husc6!bu.edu!bu-cs!buengc!ho From: ho@buengc.BU.EDU (Yue-shun E. Ho) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Excuse me, Please Message-ID: <5150@buengc.BU.EDU> Date: 27 Dec 89 22:59:17 GMT Reply-To: ho@buengc.UUCP (Yue-shun E. Ho) Distribution: alt Organization: Boston Univ. Col. of Eng. Lines: 14 Sorry for writing something (probably) inappropriate here. I posted an article somewhere and asked if netmates know what it's like for a lonely and poor student to spend the holiday season by himself in a suburban place. Someone replied and suggested me to look into this newsgroup. After reading some tens of articles, I still don't have any idea what this newsgroup is about. It seems to me that Callahan is a place, but it seems also like a person. I checked the online webster dictionary, and couldn't find the word. I've been seeing some short stories here, but there are articles which contain purely greetings and/or one's e-mail addresses. If any netmate have pity on me, please explain this newsgroup to me via e-mail. Thanks in advance. - Yue-shun [ ho@buengc.bu.edu ] Path: mit-eddie!husc6!bu.edu!bu-cs!bu-pub.bu.edu!spacey From: spacey@bu-pub.bu.edu (Eva Chan) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Greetings Again Message-ID: Date: 28 Dec 89 01:01:44 GMT Sender: news@bu.edu.bu.edu Distribution: alt Organization: Boston University Computer Science Lines: 46 Greetings everyone. I'm back for another drink, and perhaps to stay awhile. I do hope that everyone has had a nice holiday (be it Xmas, Hanakkuh, or otherwise). For me, it's been a rather cold and uneventful break, but a much needed one at that. Well, in another 2 weeks or so, it's back to the grindstone. I'll probably make frequent stops here for a breather. "Hey Mike, how's it going?" she sweeps into the tavern and shakes the snow of her coat. "A rum and coke please." And plops a dollar on the bar. Mike humbly obliges and smiles at the young woman. She takes the drink and looks around for a place to sit. She looks towards a corner near the fireplace and went there. A young man was already seated at the table, but there was still an open seat. "Is this seat taken?" she asks him. "No, be my guest," he says. "Thanks." And she sat down in the seat opposite him. She takes a sip of her drinks and relaxes. She looks at the young man, who just seems to just sit there with a dreamy look in his eyes. He seems to stare of into the distance, perhaps deep in thought. His drink sat in front of him, barely touched. She looked at him wondering what was on his mind. To her he seemed troubled, but dared not ask him, for fear of intruding. She sighs and then turned her attention back to her drink and her surroundings. She takes a sip of her drink and leans back. "I think I'll hang around here for a bit," she thinks to herself. ------------------- With the coming of a new decade, I hope that many will look back upon the past ten years and see all that has transpired. Much that has happened were either for the good or for the worse. I just hope that for the next ten years and beyond we will have learned from all that has happened. Just as a child learns what is wrong and what is right, I hope that the wrold will too. -- Eva Chan spacey@bu-pub.bu.edu (e-mail is always appreciated) Cheers! And may you enjoy life! Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!think!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!van-bc!ubc-cs!fs1!coho.ee.ubc.ca!mikeb From: mikeb@coho.ee.ubc.ca (Mike Bolotski) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Spider's UseNet Access Message-ID: <894@fs1.ee.ubc.ca> Date: 27 Dec 89 23:58:13 GMT References: <1989Dec19.192010.3800@sun.soe.clarkson.edu> <45006@bu-cs.BU.EDU> <235@sixhub.UUCP> <1854@bucket.UUCP> Sender: news@fs1.ee.ubc.ca Reply-To: mikeb@salmon.ee.ubc.ca (Mike Bolotski) Organization: Dept. of Electrical Engineering University of B.C. Lines: 8 Keywords: I think that he's in Vancouver. If he is, I can get him an account on the EE machines. With IRC access, yet. Mike Bolotski, Department of Electrical Engineering, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada mikeb@salmon.ee.ubc.ca | mikeb%salmon.ee.ubc.ca@relay.ubc.ca salmon.ee.ubc.ca!mikeb@uunet.uu.net| uunet!ubc-cs!salmon.ee.ubc.ca!mikeb Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!mips!excelan!crdgw1!sixhub!davidsen From: davidsen@sixhub.UUCP (Wm E. Davidsen Jr) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: A final goodbye, and Re: Christmas, and Re:.... Message-ID: <330@sixhub.UUCP> Date: 28 Dec 89 02:49:20 GMT References: <1989Dec22.075704.16352@sun.soe.clarkson.edu> <2730@unisoft.UUCP> Reply-To: davidsen@sixhub.UUCP (bill davidsen) Organization: *IX Public Access UNIX, Schenectady NY Lines: 20 In article <2730@unisoft.UUCP> greywolf@unisoft.UUCP (The Grey Wolf) writes: | When I woke up on Christmas, it was noon. | | Just as well. Christmas was just another day for me. Since the only time | my friends (and my dear one) could get together was last weekend, that's | when it took place for me. Christmas is when you spend the day with your loved ones. We've done that a few times, when the kids couldn't get here on the 25th. I don't think I've ever felt any less joy at the moment, but the actual day does seem a little empty sometimes. Oh well, hope you had a really good holiday with your loved ones, whatever the date! -- bill davidsen - sysop *IX BBS and Public Access UNIX davidsen@sixhub.uucp ...!uunet!crdgw1!sixhub!davidsen "Getting old is bad, but it beats the hell out of the alternative" -anon Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!cs.utexas.edu!mailrus!uunet!microsoft!t-phils From: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Greetings fellow Sensitives Message-ID: <10085@microsoft.UUCP> Date: 28 Dec 89 18:05:30 GMT References: <1989Dec19.192010.3800@sun.soe.clarkson.edu> <45006@bu-cs.BU.EDU> <235@sixhub.UUCP> Reply-To: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA Lines: 12 bill davidsen writes: | There are lot's of us out here... but where is Spider? Canada? | Philadelphia? Somewhere in Nova Scotia, the last I heard... try contacting him via Jim Baen. -- Until Friday Dec 29, Alaric is still t-phils@microsoft.UUCP `Mid dreams that die and things that end, I ask but thee, eternal friend. One lantern in the vasty dark, One stable soul, my way to mark. - Jilara Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!brutus.cs.uiuc.edu!samsung!uunet!microsoft!t-phils From: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Banana. No, thank you. Message-ID: <10086@microsoft.UUCP> Date: 28 Dec 89 18:17:59 GMT References: <129010@sun.Eng.Sun.COM> Reply-To: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger) Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA Lines: 59 Laura Lemay writes: | An entrance was what it would best be called. Many people came into | Callahans in mysterious ways; she was not one of them. She did not | change shape, or glow like a beacon, or do anything out of the | ordinary as she entered the bar. She just walked. | | But oh, what a walk. [Now this is unfair, Laura... you may have just condemned half the readership of Callahan's to spend the rest of their lives wondering what they missed! We can't _see_ this wonderful walk... oh well - back to imagination, I guess. Is it OK to imagine your walk? :-) ] | There was a silence as she seemed to be sizing up those in the crowd | -- human and otherwise. She leaned back against the bar, propping | up her elbows. "My name is Laura," she started. "It was the name I | was born with, and the name I go by. I have no persona." She turned | around at the sound of Mike putting the bottle of vodka back into the | rack, took the shot glass, and looked carefully down at it. | | "A renaissance man told me I might like it here," she continued, | rolling the glass lightly between her fingers. "But in all truth, I | wasn't sure I would be welcome." The dark figure of Alaric shimmers for a moment, then seems to shrink slightly and is replaced by a more ordinary and mundane form, a bearded man looking to be somewhere in his twenties. He smiles and raises his glass in a half-toast, half-salute. "Welcome to Callahan's," he says, smiling. "I'm glad you decided to come in." | "Rumor has it that Callahan's is the place to make instant friends, the | place to come air your troubles and have an infinite amount of | shoulders to lean on and ears to bend. This is a wonderful thing." | The full glass was still in her hand; some were wondering if she was | ever going to drink the contents. "The problem is....well, I don't | have any problems at the moment. "That's a problem?" he asks, with a rueful grin. "We should all have such problems!" | "OK then," she said, her hand in her hair once again. "To acceptance." | Finally, she downed the vodka, and flung the glass into the fireplace, | where it landed with a crash. Still smiling, she joined the | conversations in progress around her. | | -Laura Lemay lemay@eng.sun.com | Redhead. Drummer. Geek. A shadow passes briefly across his face, then the smile returns, though perhaps a little weakly. "I'll second that," he says, draining his glass... -- Until Friday Dec 29, Alaric is still t-phils@microsoft.UUCP `Mid dreams that die and things that end, I ask but thee, eternal friend. One lantern in the vasty dark, One stable soul, my way to mark. - Jilara