Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!lll-winken!arisia!sgi!shinobu!odin!sgi.com!scotth From: scotth@corp.sgi.com (Scott Henry) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: A Song-and-Dance Number Message-ID: Date: 4 Jan 90 13:10:17 GMT References: <33419@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU> Sender: news@odin.SGI.COM Reply-To: scotth@sgi.com (Scott Henry) Distribution: alt Organization: Silicon Graphics Inc, Mountain View, CA Lines: 9 In-reply-to: goldfarb@ocf.berkeley.edu's message of 31 Dec 89 09:52:04 GMT I guess my timing is always off... I stopped in for a brief spell just in time to see the "Japanese song and dance troupe" get sent off. Laughing so hard in recognition, I realized that I couldn't throw my bucket of hot water at them in time, and so avoided soaking other patrons... Ja ne! -- Scott Henry | Tardis Express -- when it Information Services, | absolutely, positively Silicon Graphics, Inc | has to be there -- yesterday. Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!cs.utexas.edu!rutgers!ucsd!ucsdhub!hp-sdd!hplabs!hplred!egly From: egly@hplred.HP.COM (Diana Egly) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: Life in Cosmo Message-ID: <20940024@hplred.HP.COM> Date: 4 Jan 90 16:45:15 GMT References: <9001031734.AA13867@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM> Organization: Hewlett Packard Labs, Palo Alto CA Lines: 29 I gave up on the xenophobia in Cosmo a couple of years ago - back when I devoted time to preventing the spread of AIDS among women at risk. It was a "serious" article by a New York gynocolgist about why women - heterosexual women - didn't have to worry about contracting AIDS. He explained that the reason that AIDS was transmitted heterosexually in Africa was that the way African men "took" their women was more akin to what we would consider rape rather than heterosexual intercourse. Pure racist xenophobia. I didn't mind so much the misguided information about heterosexual transmission of HIV -- I understand denial and magical thinking. And he's the one that's got to live with himself when his patients start dying from the disease. Besides we had lots of ways of reducing the impact of the article. And it DID cause some women with heterosexually transmitted AIDS to find the courage to start speaking up publically. What I absolutely hated was that no one questioned his xenophobia. No one questioned his qualifications to discuss any African culture, much less to generalize about all African cultures. I hated that the editors of Cosmo didn't point out that he was straying too far from his area of expertise -- and excise the comment from the article. Yes, Jilara, I'm not surprised that Cosmo is able to dehumanize blue- collar men as well. I'm upset that the exploitation isn't just at a financial level (that's been going on for a long time) but at such a close interpersonal level. Does Cosmo tell its reader how to present themselves to classical (or traditional or stereotypical, if you prefer) blue-collar men in ways that he's likely to understand that she's a good-time-girl rather than a serious girlfriend? Path: mit-eddie!bu.edu!bu-cs!lll-winken!decwrl!ucbvax!PICA.ARMY.MIL!skitchen From: skitchen@PICA.ARMY.MIL ("D. Scott Kitchen", CCH-V) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: A toast to my best friend... Message-ID: <9001051340.aa20022@CC1.PICA.ARMY.MIL> Date: 5 Jan 90 18:40:36 GMT Sender: daemon@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU Lines: 147 Once again, the tall, stout gentleman enters the friendly confines of Callahan's. Nearly the same dress as before, too -- this time, the tan overcoat hides a white shirt and gray trousers and the "power tie". Walking in here after work, he knows he should change his clothes first, but the snap of the fingers in the bar will work just the same. The "snap" produces the same man wearing jeans with a red shirt, of which only the collar shows through a dark green sweater. The book he carries this time is "Time Travelers Strictly Cash". Chocolate brown eyes search the day's crowd for friendly faces. As always, he finds them. He runs a hand through his rapidly departing brown hair and walks up to the bar. 'Evenin', Mike,' he says. 'Hey, Scott! The usual?' 'Nah. I've got a toast to make to someone special, and I need some special drink to do it with. Get me the biggest bottle of Dom Perignon (sp) you've got, and pour it into separate glasses...all of it, except for one glass which I need the special champagne kind, you know, the ones with the wide rim?' 'Yeah, I know the kind,' Mike replies. 'Sounds like you need a preface for your toast.' 'Darn right I do. Just start pouring, and I'll supply singles as necessary.' He plunks a dollar down and waits for the first glass to be poured. He takes the champagne and walks to the line. 'Well, I didn't expect to be doing this this soon, but it had to be done sometime. It might as well be now. I've got a toast to make to my best friend. First, some good news. My best friend got married on December 30.' At that, a shower of glasses careens toward the fireplace, adding smashes to the sounds of the bar. 'And now the bad news. My best friend was the bride.' He sips at the champagne, not surprised at the silence and looks he receives from this statement. 'Yep. I got to see my best friend get married off to another man. Today, what I wanted to do here at Callahan's, was tell you about some of our good and bad times, about the wedding itself, and try to get across to you how much she means to me.' He wipes the beginnings of a tear from his right eye. 'She and I met a couple of years ago while we were on band tour. We found each other's company acceptable, and we went out on a couple of dates, and we did lunch regularly, and stuff like that, and we just generally liked each other. At the end of the year, to celebrate, the two of us polished off a bottle of champagne each. Things were really cool. 'Then she hit me with an emotional bombshell. 'As part of my major at MIT, I had to do some co-op work in Seattle for Boeing, and she and I wrote to each other regularly. On 15 June 87, I opened up a letter from her saying that she was going out with another guy. This wasn't what I expected at all. I thought the two of us were on the way to something really good. I called her up that evening and talked to her about it, but it didn't seem to do any good. That night I wrote to her what had to be the most scathing piece of literature I had ever considered writing. There was a lot of emotion in that piece of mail. Her reply was short. She said she was sorry about my pain, and that she was hurt by what I'd said, and that we ought to work this out together. We did...at least, temporarily. I tried to think that things were as before, but they weren't. The friendship was more tentative. 'Then I did something really stupid once we both got back to school the following fall. I started asking questions here and there about their relationship. Boy, did I get it from her, and I got it good. She laid into me with words, hard. Never before had anyone been so angry with me. When she was done, all I could tell her was that I was sorry, and I started to cry.' He wipes away the beginnings of another tear and sniffles a bit. Regaining his composure, he continues. 'She took me in her arms and held me then. I guess, at that moment, I realized that what I wanted couldn't be, and that what she wanted could be. She could be my friend, and nothing more. Was I content? Of course not. But it had to suffice for the moment. 'There were greener pastures ahead. I found myself a nice girl and settled into a relationship with her. She (my friend) was happy for me. When my XSO dumped me, she was there to comfort me. When my XSO started going out with a friend of mine after denying her interest in him, I was ready to die; thinking about my friend stopped me. I graduated from MIT; she was there to congratulate me. Boeing canceled the program I would have been working on, and I was forced to work in a drug store; she consoled me, and told me things would be better. I got accepted into graduate school; still more congratulations. I was thrown out of grad school with poor grades; again she was there. Now, I have a good job and a life of my own. Looking back at all that's been by me in the past 3 years, there's been more bad than good, but one constant -- her caring and her loving, though not manifested physically, meant a friendship beyond compare. 'And I was called into a similar role for her. She wanted to graduate from MIT; I encouraged her. She got engaged to her husband; I congratulated her. As the wedding approached, old problems sprouted anew between her and her parents; I comforted her. As she was there for me in my troubled life, I was there for her and her troubles. 'And I stood by the altar in a church in Port St. Lucie, FL, on December 30, 1989, and saw her get married. I cried. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've cried before. These tears were mixed pain and joy; the joy of seeing the most special person in my life get married and the pain of seeing her get married to someone else and not me. I can't help but speculate and think of what might have been. I think that's only natural. Am I envious of him? Yes. Am I jealous, too? Yes, but I try not to let it show. Am I happy? Yes and no (see the reasons above). 'But there are three things I can walk away from this wedding feeling happy about. The first is that the two of them wanted me to be there so much, they wanted me in the wedding party. I stood up front as an usher and watched it all happen. For that, I give thanks. The second was a tad more personal, as I caught her garter when he threw it to us available bachelors. For that, I now have a physical reminder of the wedding, aside from photographs and memories. 'And the third thing? Well, before they left on their honeymoon, she called me to the car, opened the door, hugged me, kissed me, and told me she loved me. Our relationship could be summed up in one moment by that short exchange. If that's not devotion of the truest kind between friends, I don't know what is. She loved me, I loved her, and that was all that mattered.' The tears were flowing freely now from his eyes unchecked. His voice wavered, but the conviction of the words was strong. 'My friends, I would first like to toast the concepts of love and marriage. May each of us experience the best of both.' He drains the remainder of the champagne and hurls the glass at the fireplace with explosive force. 'Friends, those glasses on the bar are for you. It's my contention that if you're going to do something, do it big. Take a glass with me and drink up.' He waits for those assembled to grab a glass, and he takes the special one. 'To Sharon Lynne Lewis, nee Fox. I still love you, dear.' He takes the champagne and gulps it all down. He then takes the glass, walks it over to the fireplace, and places it within the flames. He walks to an open chair, lays his book down, and puts his face in his hands. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Scott Kitchen Send mail to: skitchen@cc1.pica.army.mil Mechanical Engineer ICBM: 40.88 N 74.56 W ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Hop in my Chrysler; it's as big as a whale, and it's about to set sail! Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!samsung!uunet!microsoft!peterdur From: peterdur@microsoft.UUCP (Peter DURHAM) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Re: A few toasts Message-ID: <10152@microsoft.UUCP> Date: 5 Jan 90 17:29:24 GMT References: <1503@lakesys.lakesys.com> Reply-To: peterdur@microsoft.UUCP (Janelle c/o Peter DURHAM) Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA Lines: 67 Keywords: The door opens to a cool, rainy day, and Janelle steps in. I nod at Eva, Jilara, Mike, Ed, and anyone else who is lurking in the corner, and collect a cup of tea on my way over to Dave's table. I lean my crutches against the closest wall, and sit down to chat... In article <1503@lakesys.lakesys.com> Dave Kraft writes: > >[2] >grandmother, who will be 85 on the 6th, is facing the probability of having to >have her leg amputated (due to poor circulation, etc.). This will be her >second amputation. Once this is done, we are not sure what to do with her. >She has lived alone ever since she has had her other leg amputated, >and now, will either have to live at home with us, or in a nursing home. Is your grandmother still reasonably self-sufficient, other than possibly having to adapt to life as a double amputee? If so, it seems that one solution might be to adapt her home to be wheelchair accessible... Sometimes this means major structural remodeling; often it's just simply moving everything to lower shelves, putting in temporary ramps, etc. I don't know too much about it, I just know what everybody told me about when they thought I would have to be in a wheelchair (Hah! Fooled them). Ask physical therapists, local handicapped groups, etc. for more details if that's the way you'd want to go. It is a time consuming thing to adapt, so your family should decide what is best for everyone. Anyway... (to anyone offended by my posting rather than e-mailing, I meekly apologize) >[3] > Lastly, I have finished college (for now), and should get my Associate >degree in Business Data Processing sometime in February. Now, if I could only >find a job in my field... >TO JOB SEARCHING! MAY I SOON FIND ONE! This sounds all too familiar! I've been searching for a job in my field (medical social work) for six months now (thank goodness Pete has an income). I've got a BA and lots of relevant experience; however, there are lots of people of people with MSW's and more experience. I've had lots of interviews, but I'm always second best :-( So, I've hit the point now where I'm looking for _any_ job to last me till next fall, then I'll go to grad school, and _I'll_ get an MSW (So there! Now they'll _have_ to hire me!) But, suddenly, after six months of not having irrational amounts of stuff to do (this is my usual state, and I've been feeling forlorn and purposeless for the past six months), now I'm doing lots! I'm pounding the pavement for a job, Peter and I might volunteer to be new dance master and dance mistress in the local SCA group (the old dance person has been inactive since we've been here, which means we haven't danced in several months, so now we're going through a panic of trying to remember how to dance "Black Nag" and "Queen's Alman"... as soon as we run into Justin again, we'll pounce on him for information! :-) ), and I'm trying to get my grad school applications ready (I got them today, and found out that the whole application process (transcripts, recommendations, essays, etc.) are all supposed to be in in exactly ten days! 8-o <-- that's me looking happily panicked), plus the live role-playing game we're running for some friends in a few weeks, plus all the random projects I've been putting off for a long time! Arrggghhhh!!!!! (But I love it... :-) ) I hop up to the line. "TO FINDING JOBS, AND TO KEEPING INSANELY BUSY WITH FUN STUFF TOO!" (crash) - Janelle ... I get so much more done when I have too much to do ... Path: mit-eddie!bu.edu!bu-cs!bu-pub!spacey From: spacey@bu-pub.bu.edu (Eva Chan) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Life in General Message-ID: Date: 5 Jan 90 21:46:49 GMT Sender: news@bu.edu.bu.edu Distribution: alt Organization: Boston University Computer Science Lines: 34 *sigh* Nowadays, since the New Year, my days seem to be one big sigh. I don't know why either. I feel tired and drained. It seems difficult to concentrate on anything anymore. Am I depressed? Maybe. I'm not upset at anything, at least nothing that I know of. New Year's Eve was actually a drag for me. I'm happy for those who had a good time. As for those who spent the evening alone or not doing anything exciting, I can sympathize with you. I must admit that I spent my New Year's Eve on the terminal typing away.... Now, with the New Year here, things don't seem any different. Nothing's changed, just the year we have to remember to write correctly on our checks. Just another year added on to our lives. Another year of work or school. Just another year of politics, world events, and other news. *sigh* Mike, give me a wine cooler. That stuff will put me under faster than anything else I know. *sigh* Well, folks, I hope you all have a good year. As for me I will try and make the most of it. But it's just going to be another year. Call me a pessimist, but that's how I feel. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>CRASH!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< -- Eva Chan spacey@bu-pub.bu.edu (e-mail is always appreciated) Cheers! And may you enjoy life! Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!usc!ucsd!ucbvax!PICA.ARMY.MIL!skitchen From: skitchen@PICA.ARMY.MIL ("D. Scott Kitchen", CCH-V) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: A more thorough introduction Message-ID: <9001051902.aa02647@CC1.PICA.ARMY.MIL> Date: 6 Jan 90 00:02:17 GMT Sender: daemon@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU Lines: 67 Name: Scott Kitchen Sex: Male Age: 23 Marital Status: Single Height: 6' 2" Weight: Too darn much and working on getting a New Year's Resolution to stick Birthplace: Neptune, NJ Current home: Randolph, NJ Schooling: BS Materials Science and Engineering MIT Class of '88 Current position: Mechanical Engineer @ Picatinny Arsenal Hobbies: Lots and lots!! :) But seriously, though...reading (mainly F&SF, but also Tom Clancy, James Michener, and Robert Ludlum), gaming (usually RPG's like Champions, Warhammer, or AD&D, but also wargames, too, upon occasion...and who doesn't like Scrabble or Monopoly), music (playing & listening -- likes below), movies (favorites below), hugs, backrubs, and the special kind of closeness you feel in a one-to-one chat with a close friend. Favorite music: my tastes run the gamut. There's little I don't like. I actively avoid country, most opera, and most metal. I like a lot of popular stuff (I've been listening to the B-52's, Young MC, Paula Abdul, and Milli Vanilli in the car). My favorites include Journey, Genesis, Phil Collins, Chicago, Gloria Estefan (she melts my heart with her voice), Sting, Peter Gabriel. For jazz, I listen to Richard Elliot, Wynton Marsalis, Bobby McFerrin, and anything with trumpets. In classical, I like Mussorgsky, Tchaikowsky, Holst, Haydn, Mozart, and anything with trumpets. In case you couldn't guess, I play the trumpet. Used to, actually...I haven't played since I left MIT. Favorite movies: lots and lots. Batman, Back to the Future I & II, Star Wars (all of them), Robocop, The Terminator, Alien and Aliens, Dead Poets Society, Steel Magnolias, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Heavy Metal, Red Dawn, Wargames, the James Bond films, and so many more I can't even begin to list them all without forgetting at least some...like The Little Mermaid, Look Who's Talking...OK, I'll stop. -------- O --------- O ----------- O ----------- O ----------- O -------- Scott enters Callahan's for the second time that day, dressed casually as before. Mike says, "Aw, don't tell me you want champagne again?!" My reply: "OK, I won't. Rum & Coke this time, Mike. Something good is in the process of happening. Make the rum Bacardi, too, would ya?" He flips a single to Mike, grabs his glass, and toes the line for the second time that day. "No, I promise not to start gushing again. I'm emotional like my mother, and when I get going it's hard to stop, but what I've got to say is happier this time. "It looks as if the promotion I'm supposed to get is going to be coming my way this month. Over the next year I'll be making 6000 dollars more than last year. I'm quite happy, and I want to make a toast: "To success!" He chugs his Rum & Coke and sends the glass in a soaring arc, similar to Kareem doing his classic Sky Hook. It reaches the fireplace and shatters. He bows to the applause of the crowd, pulls up a chair, opens his book to the proper page, and reads of stories gone before at Callahan's. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Scott Kitchen Send mail to: skitchen@cc1.pica.army.mil Mechanical Engineer ICBM: 40.88 N 74.56 W ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Hop in my Chrysler; it's as big as a whale, and it's about to set sail! Path: mit-eddie!wuarchive!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!mcsun!ukc!mucs!r1!pjc From: pjc@r1.uucp (Peter Crowther (CAG ra)) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Hello Summary: Another lurker says hello and airs his problems. Message-ID: <561@m1.cs.man.ac.uk> Date: 5 Jan 90 16:52:35 GMT Sender: news@cs.man.ac.uk Reply-To: pjc@r1.UUCP (Peter Crowther (CAG ra)) Followup-To: alt.callahans Organization: University of Manchester, UK Lines: 144 After the last toast, a few shards of glass spray out from the fire. Some of them appear to hang in the air, at about lap height, slightly to one side of the hearth. At this point, there is a slight shimmer in the air. Four things appear: a large and comfortable rocking chair, the man sitting in it, a bass guitar and a small but obviously fairly powerful practise amp. [Well, it beats standing up from a corner :-) ] The man looks down at his lap and grins ruefully. "One of the dangers of being too close to the fireplace in Callahans, I suppose. Still, I'd much rather be warm in the winter." he says in his bass voice. The accent is relatively unusual in America; the man is English, as is the accent. He gets up and carefully brushes the shards into the fire. Now that he is standing up, he is more visible to the other inhabitants of the room. He is just over six feet tall when he stands straight although, as usual, he is hunched slightly forwards. His face is fairly long; this is accentuated by the shoulder-blade length, mouse-brown, straight hair. He has an overbite and buck teeth; these would make him look like a weregerbil if it were not for the long face. His eyes are blue; they look tired, and the whole face has an air that asks the world "What are you doing, and why are you doing it to me?" He is quite broadly built, neither thin nor fat. He is wearing a pale yellow tee-shirt with a (hand-drawn) line-drawing of a sleeping hedgehog wearing Wellington boots on it. The short sleeves allow everyone to see his arms; they are long, just short of being too long for the body, and relatively thin, with thick veins running along them. His hands are large, with long, thin fingers - ideal for guitar or keyboard. The fingernails are bitten short. A pair of originally dark blue, but now very worn, drainpipe jeans and some equally worn grey/white running shoes complete the tour of the body. Aware of the scrutiny of some of the residents, the man brushes the last fragments of glass off his jeans, turns away from the fire and looks round, smiling slightly and nodding at a number of the regulars as if he knows them - he must have been following the conversation for a long time [I came in about three puns into the electricity punfest]. The smile broadens and he stands up straight to speak. "Good evening, one and all. I am Peter Crowther - programmer, bass guitarist, shoulder to cry on and freelance idiot. I have been sitting by the fire, invisible, for some time; I have finally decided to make myself known." He wanders over to the bar, puts down a dollar. "Do you know how difficult it is to get hold of American coins in Britain?" he asks with mock ferocity and raised eyebrows (I should have said - he has very expressive eyebrows :-). And then, to Mike, "Bitter shandy, please - Robinson's, if you've got it." He takes the proffered glass and walks back to the rocking chair. He sits down, downs about half a pint of the shandy and places the rest, and the glass, on top of his amplifier. He leans back and closes his eyes for a moment, then re-opens them and starts speaking, first expressionlessly but with increasing passion. "Sometimes I think I'm mad, sometimes the world. Sometimes I think both are true, but in different ways." Pause. "Is it madness to want a different world? What I would call a better world? Is it madness to want to see people on the streets able to get a roof over their heads and food in their mouths? To see the old, who have seen their savings wither before their eyes, able to heat a room to be in? To see people able to walk outside, alone, in daylight or after dark?" Long pause. "I've had a good life so far - no problems academically, although at primary school I could have been better at soccer and worse at work and saved myself some beatings from the other kids. But I suppose you could call me a sensitive. I'm not sure I'm an empath - I'm not a sufficiently good judge of feelings to warrant that term. I see things in the newspapers and on television, and they make me want to... I don't know what. Kill somebody, I suppose. The person, or people, who cause the suffering. But I never do anything about it, because I can never see the point. One person makes no difference when they haven't the influence. And if they've got the influence, they're normally part of the set that cause the suffering. I suppose that's why celebrities and pop stars are so useful - they wield influence, although their words are often suppressed or edited by the media. Free speech is a myth, both in Britain and, apparently, in the States." Pause for another pull at the shandy. "Again, people tend to use me as a shoulder to weep on. Don't know why - it can't be my friendly face. I get scared when I hear some of the things that go on in this supposedly 'safe' world of ours with all our 'rights'. Bullshit. Nobody has any rights. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness is just another phrase bandied about by the influential and their sycophantic followers. It's as meaningless as 'Have a nice day' from a receptionist." Another pull at the drink. The glass is empty. He gets up, walks over to the bar and hands over fifty cents for a refill. He continues, propping up the bar. "I dunno... sometimes I think I'm mad to even talk about it. You see, I feel like a dual personality. There's me, looking out through my eyes, and then there's this other part of me that spends all its time looking down on me from a point about six inches above and a foot behind my head. That's the one that's continually whispering 'What did you do that for? Idiot, baring your soul like that. Why smile at him/her? There's no point, and it just makes you stick out from the crowd. You're an idiot. You know nobody's going to read this far in the message, and nobody'll respond to it even if they do read it, so what's the point in sending it? What's the point? What's the point?' You get the idea." Long pause. He looks down at the second, untouched, shandy, appears to shrug slightly although he doesn't seem to move, and downs about two-thirds of it. "Maybe I should go see a shrink. But then my other half whispers 'Why? He'll only laugh at you behind your back. What's the point? Keep your head down'. So I'm stuck. And in order to go into that cruel outside world, I put a mask up. I laugh, I joke, I make lousy puns, I'm incredibly cynical, I'm very rarely nasty or rude to anyone and I'm slowly going mad. Anybody got any good ideas?" Pause. Another invisible shrug. Then he steps over to the line, downs the remains of his second shandy, declares "To masks, and to cynicism. Sometimes they're the only things that keep you going." and deliberately and cynically chucks the glass at the fire. It almost misses - he's always been a lousy shot - but just about goes in off one corner. At least it doesn't spray shards everywhere :-) Shoulders down, Peter returns to his rocking chair and starts running his left hand along the guitar frets. With an obvious effort of will, he rouses himself and drags the chair (along with guitar and amp) over to a convenient table. All he needs now is someone to talk to. - Peter Peter Crowther, Dept. of Electrical Engineering, University of Manchester, Manchester M13 9PL, England. Internet: pcrowther@r1.cs.man.ac.uk Janet: pcrowther@uk.ac.man.cs.r1 USENET: mcvax!ukc!man.cs!pcrowther Neural net: It'll never work... Path: mit-eddie!bloom-beacon!eru!luth!sunic!tut!ousrvr!news From: so-tvk@stekt.oulu.fi (Tommi V. Kaikkonen) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: A new one, new? Summary: Random composition of thoughts Message-ID: Date: 6 Jan 90 02:02:54 GMT Sender: news@ousrvr.oulu.fi Distribution: alt Organization: University of Oulu, Dept. of EE, Finland Lines: 220 Half moon tonight... The weather outside the merry Callahan's place is dark and a bit chilly. Grey clouds wander on the dark sky covering the half shape of moon which is the only source of light in the dark night. Tiny stars far away can't give you as much light as the half moon. It is not snowing, but air is a bit humid and it makes it even more colder to lonely wanderer. The warmth of the place is maybe the reason why this lonely wanderer decided to come in. He stamps his feet before opening the door (to make noise on his entrance or just to shake off the dirt and snow) and steps in looking a bit worried and tired. First everyone just look at him wondering have they seen him before. He is wearing black trousers, black shoes (looks quite warm), black leather jacket and black gloves. While not carrying any notable sack or bag he seems fatter than he is, because there he has pushed all the most important things inside his jacket and pockets of his trousers. While he is walking closer he is turning his head (mixed brown hair (cut short), eyeglasses (quite thin ones), fair skin and pale/greyish blue eyes, maybe the most remarkable thing on his face is big and straight nose (some say it is handsome)) and it looks like he recognizes few faces there, but is heading directly to the line... "(cough) Mike, give me something hot and quick, I am freezing!" His voice is a bit rasping. Mike smiles and replies: "I will make you a hot rum, this will clear your throat and make you feel warmer." He places one dollar on the desk and says: "Thank you very much! (GULP) Ahhh... this made so good that I will take another!" At this point he turns around smiling to people and casting his greetings to everyone and especially to those he knows already (Hi Luru, Eva, Melissa /Tabbifli, Mark (keldar), ...) and begins to speak: "Good people/creatures, my name is Tommi. I heard about this lovely place from my friend Luru and for many days I have been just listening to rumors and talkings around this place. Once in December I lost my contacts to this place and I nearly forgot everything I heard. Then, in the year 1990 I realized what was wrong in my system and start receiving messages again. In one dark night I just read them all. Maybe the total was 140 maybe 240, I don't really remember because I had technical problems to keep it all scrolling smoothly to front of my eyes. Nevertheless, once again I made something that opened totally new vision -- I lived dozens of lifes in few hours, my emotions changed so rapidly that my daily rhythm made crazy (didn't sleep in 32 hours) Then I decided to find this place someday, travel till the end of the known universe to find... and you see, here I am!" He tastes his drink and continues, though you can see from his eyes, that he would need rest the most. "I know I should have more stabile rhythm of life -- sleeping. I am trying to fix it up, and my dear twin brother Tuomas is trying to do that too. I know why I always used to stay up late... the main reason was that I was deep in shit. Other reasons were that I was nervous and stressed, I couldn't get any sleep before I was relaxed and I gained that state of relaxation by doing things like staying up 24-30 hours. But naturally that had a drastic impact on my rhythm. I have realized now that it was not the right way to fix it." "I have made REALLY good friends with many IRC users (i.e. addicts) and I always felt like someone needed me OR I needed someone there... Once or twice I was up 24 hours and ALL THE TIME on irc!)" At this point he sighs loudly and looks like he have more positive memories from that time than negatives. He sips his drink again and continues. "Some people have been talking about seeing the history of a person by his/her outlook -- face, shape, gesture, et cetera. I don't think my history could be seen at the first glance. Or maybe I am too used to my outlook. Usually I see myself quite innocent and inexperienced on my face. You may judge by yourself." His voice is quite low and relaxing, as he had noticed that speaking by that way he can express his feelings and thoughts most clearly. Many times he stop to think some word or just anything and then he makes low sounds like "errr" or "mmm". At those points his hands make curly moves and his eyes wander on the crowd or on the walls. "I have been exchanging thougts and ideas with many people in different situations and once an californian made me to think following." "Here in Finland we have only 4.5 - 5 million people and one have said (Neil Hardwick, a Britshman who moved to here and is writing columns, TV-series and plays) that only one opinion is on surface of minds of this people at the time. Sad but true, though wisely used 'the public opinion' could be made to preserve nature and wellfare in general. But who could be so wise and publically accepted person, should it be some kind of institution... no." "It is sad to see the same thing happening here... more and more people are more financially oriented, more stressed out and more irritable. I remember one techer of mine once told how years ago he COULD hear laugher on the streets, but nowadays it is VERY rare." "WE LACK LOVE! I see that is one key to the problem... there are not many big problems as not many master keys, much depends on minor things... what happened when you was young, etc. I just heard one radio programme, news, about one research of 'why those Finnish men, in their best working age, did die?'" "1) Abuse of alcohol (too much and/or too long time). 2) Suicide. 3..n) Other reasons." "50% of those Finnish men who die on their best age belong to the two first groups. Can you imagine, FIFTY PERCENT DIED BECAUSE OF ALCOHOL OR THEY MADE SUICIDE?!" "I have ALWAYS seen that there is a huge difference between men and women here." "The researchers explained that it has always been the case, for many hundred years. Men were those who should fight for everything while the land was under Swedish King or Russian Czar. They failed and they became more and more closed. Ah well, I am not the right person to explain the historical (what else?) reasons, I always hated history in school (though in last years in lukio (senior high school) I became a bit more interested in it)." "I hate to make big difference between males and females, but it really seems like Finnish women have gained more in short time, though still the old structure is valid, the men still have more power in our society. Maybe that is one reason to the wellknown 'Finlandization'. The self-esteem of men is too low and they try to make it better by instrumental materialism. I have REALLY seen this happening, happening in my life as well as in persons' near me. While the women have human-to-human relationship on their work and so on, men usually prefer human-to-instrument-to-human relationship." "After all we are all in the same ship and only by working together we can change the course of it." "To love oneself, that has really forgotten... To love others as oneself, how can we love others if we couldn't love ourselves!?" Again, talking like this makes his throat rough and he sips his drink. Everyone are awaiting something more about the same subject but suddenly he decides to talk about something else, still all this seem to have connections to something, something he is seeking. "To tell the truth I don't respect the education I am given here right now. In order to study I have to make something... for example I made a deal with Luru that we will go together to the classes and exams, if one fails the other will try to help right away. I don't know will this work, many have tried agreements like this and failed ...or maybe I have heard someones succeeding in this way." "My dear twin brother decided to ask a job from local grill kiosk, good... I hope he will get some (little) money and self-esteem from it. At the same time I met Soili again, shortly, but that gave me new hope, again. Years ago I thought that I will never meet any girl... funny, now I have to choose... but the future is not in my hands, though SOMETHING I can do, and that is my best." "The way I afford my schooling is the most popular in Finland -- the state offers really cheap loan and a little 'free money'. For example I get this student loan 14400 FIM/year (abt.$ 2800) and monthly support ('free money') is for me 920 FIM/month (abt.$ 180). I have to pay back the loan after I have graduated (made that diploma) but that monthly support I don't have to pay back ever. The annual cost of studying in Finnish university is REALLY low, only about $80. That includes only the payment to the student organization and to the health care. Everything else we have to pay by ourselves: rent, electricity, food, all studying materials, furnitures, transportation, etc." "The cost of living is too high in Finland compared to the level of the society. 'Western democracy' is not always reasonable what comes to simple things like food and place to sleep. Yeah, we sure have so called mixed system of economy, 1/2 socialist and 1/2 capitalist. Nowadays it just looks 1/10 socialist and 9/10 capitalist... Once the national coalition party (the conservatives, most rightiest party in Finland) got into the government they realized that things can't be run as they imagined. Never before they have been in the government (as far as I know, remember my bad history in school), so they don't have the appropriate experience to handle most difficult tasks." "The passive mentalitet and new-national-feelings (pro patria, against refugees and foreigners coming in) is frightening composition. God knows what will happen. People don't want to vote, meanwhile they keep on complaining and shouting 'nono to vietnamese, etc. refugees'." "By the way in my neighbour live 50 vietnamese refugees... I have not yet talked with anyone, they keep on too much with themselves and we too. One girl I know talked with some men but got upset 'because they didn't understand any humour'. Hmmmm..." "I'll try to take care of myself... I have to assign a time for meeting with doctor... I have not been doing well with my stomach in past month. I count much on the fact that I used to stay up irregular hours and do some other nasty things like eating irregularly and so on." After saying these words he looks his drink and grins: "Maybe I should not drink this much alcohol, more mineral water and not junk food, that should cure my stomach. Hey, but my throat, that is dry like a desert, that must be why I drink this rum now!" Suddenly his face brightens and his eyes start flame, he jumps nearer the fireplace and says: "I would like to toeast for LOVE, because... ...Love is the key, and I am the key -- and the lock -- I am human..." ---------------> CRASH ==============> WHOOOSH ***************> FLICKER -- _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Tommi Kaikkonen FidoNet: 2:515/810 InterNet: so-tvk@stekt.oulu.fi Taidonkaari 1 E 36 Tel.+358-81-563080 (6pm-10pm EET use your voice) SF-90570 OULU Fax.+358-68-55858 In-Person: ...time & place? Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!think!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!ucbvax!CS.UOREGON.EDU!jdrew From: jdrew@CS.UOREGON.EDU Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Resolver -- name does not exist Message-ID: <9001060419.AA11750@dogmatix.cs.uoregon.edu.cs.uoregon.edu> Date: 6 Jan 90 04:19:00 GMT Sender: daemon@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU Lines: 71 Slowly, over a period of several minutes, noise begins to build from the table where Jim's various personalities are seated. It would appear that they are involved in some sort of an argument. Of course, since they are all facets of the same person, this really amounts to a somewhat noisy internal struggle being waged. They evidently come to some sort of a concensus, as the arguing stops, and Jim I (the tall one with brown hair) reluctantly stands up and goes to the bar. "Well," he says, "I/we have been going through a lot lately. Basically, it all comes down to resolving a couple of problems, and then getting out of here. Nothing against any of you, but I/we do have to leave. "For some time, I/we have felt that I (I'm going to save on slash use for a while here) have been too...oh, what's the word I want? Wishy-washy? Lenient? Indecisive? Maybe that's it. So I'm going to make a New Year's resolution -- I had kind of hoped that someone else would make one here before me, breaking the ice as it were, but evidently not. Ah, well, a good way to start then. "This year, and for the years to come, I resolve: to try to be more decisive, to be less wishy-washy, to speak my mind, to stop saying 'I don't care' when I really do, and to stop evading the truth, even though it may be a little painful. I realize that I will not be able to accomplish all of this right off the bat, but, having at least said this, it will be in the back of my mind, which should help some. I hope. "I have some people already helping the physical me, especially Gregg, my (fill in the blank with any term you like). There, that's a big step right now, for me at any rate. "As for leaving, well, it's true. Alt.callahan's has been fun and supportive, but I *have* to get good grades this term in order to graduate on time. And that means cutting back on newsgroups and other things that take massive chunks of my time. I'll still be around here for the weekend, and can be reached via the Empaths Mailing List, or, even better, by the address below." He gets a glass of a dark liquid from Mike. "Flat Classic Coke. Not the best way to drink it, but I hate to drink anything that is carbonated in more than small sips. And it is non-alcoholic because Gregg and I both drank far too much on New Year's Eve and have sworn off the stuff for a while. "To alt.callahans! Long may she, uh, wave!" As the glass breaks, there is the scrape of five more chairs as the rest of Jim's personalities get up to leave. Not without saying a few goodbyes first, though. "Gilly, sorry we never really got to talk here. 'God bless Lili St. Cyr' anyways. Joseph, Diana...thanks. Kathy, although you never knew it, it was you that originally got me here, via a post of yours e-mailed to me by a friend. And for those that are curious about physical ages, I'm older than Kathy by a whopping 12 days. Justin, Dani, talk to you later. Keep The Dream (tm) alive." "We'll be back, without a doubt. But probably not until Spring Break. See you then..." And so the six of them, with the Lynx and its scarf trailing behind, exit the bar, letting a little rain in as they go. Buy-buy! Jim I/Jim II/Colyn/Kris/Gregory/Deborah/the Lynx/etc. *********************** Jim Drew "Mama...thinks I'm working in a nightclub...a jdrew@cs.uoregon.edu risque little nightclub...while wearing lacy (SCA: Colyn du Corynthe) pants. Mama...doesn't even have an inkling... that I'm living in a convent...in the southern part of France." Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!usc!samsung!caesar.cs.montana.edu!milton!blake!unicorn!n8946177 From: n8946177@unicorn.WWU.EDU (Melissa Tabbifli) Newsgroups: alt.callahans Subject: Returns Keywords: Hello, Happy New Year. Message-ID: <396@unicorn.WWU.EDU> Date: 6 Jan 90 06:12:05 GMT Reply-To: n8946177@unicorn.wwu.edu (Melissa Tabbifli) Followup-To: alt.callahans Distribution: alt Organization: Western Washington Univ, Bellingham Lines: 48 **POOF** The soft sound of Tabbifli's arrival fills the air, and a few people look up in astonishment, as they'd thought never to see her again. 'I feel much better, now.. thanks once again to so many people helping me... all of you that have written, or called.. thank you, so very much. You'll never know just how much it means to me, to find people that are willing to care for someone they don't even know, and to help that person when she/he is unhappy.' 'I realize a few people may be curious about what is happening now.. well, I will not be returning to school at all, but net.access for me is getting found rapidly, and I have, for a while at least, my account on Unicorn. Now, if anyone knows of an opening for a half-trained receptionist/ secretary/Unix support-person/data-entry technician, let me know. (1/2 :) )' 'I have opened myself up more here than I have anywhere else, or with anyone aside from my love. It is odd.. I am not sure if it is because I hope to meet you, one day, and become proper friends, or if it is because I am fairly sure of not meeting most of you at all, and am therefore in little/no danger of betrayal. If anyone else knows.... 'Tommi, it is nice to have you here.. i agree with you on the thoughts that we are missing love in our world.. perhaps we should all try to give a little more of ourselves to others - ones that we would not normally give to. Perhaps we should all simply say "I love you" more often, and to give lots and lots of hugs. There are many ways of showing love, you just have to look for them.' 'People have been talking about Resolutions for the New Year. I do not make them, as I generally tend to forget them ten minutes later, anyway. I do, however, have one major goal in mind for this year - to make it to Finland before the end of August. After that, I get to decide what's next.' With that, Tabbifli gets her wine from Mike, and settles on her pillow once again (keeping her tail safely out from beneath the rocking chair) and watches the room again, occasionally getting up to say hello to friends around the room. There is still no purring, but there is also no tears. --Melissa Tabbifli P.S. To the cynic - Thank you for the advice, and help. With regards to crying - I don't cry where people can see me, unless I entrust my life to them.-- **Never try to outstubborn a cat - L. Long** **especially not one with wings! - M. Tabbifli** e-mail to - n8946177@unicorn.wwu.edu